Father William by Lewis Carroll (With an addendum by Lance de Boyle)

by Vanderleun on July 10, 2020

“You are old, father William,” the young man said,
“And your hair has become very white;
And yet you incessantly stand on your head –
Do you think, at your age, it is right?”

“In my youth,” father William replied to his son,
“I feared it would injure the brain;
But now that I’m perfectly sure I have none,
Why, I do it again and again.”

“You are old,” said the youth, “as I mentioned before,
And have grown most uncommonly fat;
Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door –
Pray, what is the reason of that?”

“In my youth,” said the sage, as he shook his grey locks,
“I kept all my limbs very supple
By the use of this ointment –one shilling the box –
Allow me to sell you a couple.”

“You are old,” said the youth, “and your jaws are too weak
For anything tougher than suet;
Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak –
Pray, how did you manage to do it?”

“In my youth,” said his father, “I took to the law,
And argued each case with my wife;
And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw,
Has lasted the rest of my life.”

“You are old,” said the youth; one would hardly suppose
That your eye was as steady as ever;
Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose –
What made you so awfully clever?”

“I have answered three questions, and that is enough,”
Said his father; “don’t give yourself airs!
Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?
Be off, or I’ll kick you downstairs!”

“You are old,” said the youth, “and you’ll probably vote
For the wretch that is known as Don Trump.
A fascist, a nazi, a racist, a white,
And his wife is an ugguly hump.”

“Oh, fuck off!” said his father, “Antifa punk,
You whiskerless greasy-haired lass.
Leave and stay gone, and don’t ask me for money,
Or I’ll bury my boot up your ass.”

Addendum by Lance de Boyle

Comments on this entry are closed.

Lance de Boyle July 10, 2020, 1:53 PM

“You are old,” said the youth, “and you’ll probably vote
For the wretch that is known as Don Trump.
A fascist, a nazi, a racist, a white,
And his wife is an ugguly hump.”

“Oh, fuck off!” said his father, “Antifa punk,
You whiskerless greasy haired lass.
Leave and stay gone, and don’t ask me for money,
Or I’ll bury my boot up your ass.”

∞

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Father William by Lewis Carroll (With an addendum by Lance de Boyle)

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