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The Passing of a President

It was a standard morning at the Wilmington “White House” with the night staff coming off duty and passing through the seven rings of Secret Service security until they got beyond the tanks and concertina wire with the machine guns.

The day staff came on as “Jeeves,” the President’s handler and valet, prepared his morning cocoa and bowl of Animal Crackers with a Jello shot. He brought it in, set it down next to the President’s bedside, and pulled the drapes aside letting the dank Delaware sunshine. Turning he noticed the President laid out, as was his wont, with his favorite MyPillow covering his face.

“Good morning sire,” said Agent Jeeves (“sire” being their little joke) as he went to lift up President’s MyPillow. It snagged and, lifting came away from the kind old president’s face with his dentures clamped deeply into the now gnawed and ripped MyPillowCase. Jeeves stepped back calmly and sent a quick text to the Vice President’s phone in a bedroom on the Oprah Winfrey estate in Maui, “Delaware down. Wheels up in one hour. Wear black. Bring out the Jackie Kennedy style veil we packed for you.”

Jeeves poked his head out of the door and nodded to the carefully vetted Secret Service guards in the hall, “Get Op NewKidInTown launched.” He closed the door behind them as the guards went to alert the President’s Coroner in his jump seat one floor down.

Jeeves walked down the hall to the First Lady’s bedroom. He first shook awake the First Lady’s friend, Megan Rapinoe, still groggy after an evening of motherly instruction from the insatiable Dr. Jill. “Out, out,” he said.

“I am out,” said Rapinoe taking a knee in front of him.

“Cute. Beat it,” said Jeeves. “We’ll call you back when Kametoe is firmly ensconced and needs to relearn how to take knees. And by the way, this lesbian one-sided buzz cut is so 2020. Get a butch, Butch.”

The First Lady was a little woozy upon waking but Jeeves needed her “a bit sparky” for the coming day so he reached into his vest pocket and placed one gleaming methedrine suppository on her medications tray. “Fit that in ASAP, Dr. Jill,” shaking her. “The vegetable down the hall twerked in his last moments and bit through his MyPillow so hard his dentures came out when I pulled it off.”

“Did you pull them off and slip them back in?”

“Left that for the Secret Service live-in coroner.”

“Well, I hope he slaps them back in before the forensic photographs. I always hated the Gummy Joe look he used to ‘amuse’ me with when I took him his morning oatmeal. God, I’m glad that’s over. Is Megan coming back tonight for more ‘instruction’?”

“You know Megan only rolls on Air Force One, Jill. Without Joey, you now fly on Air Force Zero.”

“Then how about Marine One just to get me back to the White House lawn. After all, I have to steer a nation through its grief.”

“Yeah right, for about ten hours unit President Harris’ plane lands.”

“Will she actually be President by then?”

“Of course, Doctor Jill. We are going to be restaging the airplane oath-taking that we did when we swore in Johnson after knocking off Kennedy. Now that was a great photo-op. Blood and everything. Epic.”

“But there’s no bloody Jackie to weep in the background now.”

“No,” said Jeeves. “But we’re using a beaming Oprah as a stand-in. She’s put on a few pounds but if she stands at an angle to the cameras only her humongous buttocks spoil an otherwise perfect black Jackie Kennedy look.”

“Oh well,” said Dr. Jill wrapping the sweat-soaked sheets of her night of Rapinoe love around her. “I guess I’ll get a shower and get ready to announce the tragic death of a President by MyPillow to a saddened nation.”

“Yeah, right,” said Jeeves. “Just don’t forget to take that methedrine suppository. You’ve got a hard day’s night of lies ahead of you today.”

And so, in an hour, the screens of ABC/CBS/MSNBC/NBC/PBS and Bloomberg all went dark with an ominous organ chord and then came faded on images of all the famous anchors in matching BLM black t-shirts and ANTIFA arm-bands to tell the nation of the tragic passing of President Joey under the oppressive weight and lethal weapon of that traitor Mike Lindell, the MyPillow. (Lindell was, even at that moment, being picked up by the 87TH U.S. Stasi Brigade where he was hiding in the rough at Mar-A-Lago with the fat guy.)

Dr. Jill was stunning as she addressed the country with “Today I know a nation mourns….” At that point, all the covering media cut off her sound and went to a long shot of her in black with that stunning Jackie Kennedy veil somebody had taken from the Smithsonian for this solemn spontaneous moment about six months back.

At that point, all media anchors faded to black and, after ten sad seconds of Pachebel’s Canon, a weeping distraught country and world were introduced to the nation’s new and, now that there would be only one media station, only anchorman — the vegan tranny Al Sharpton: “After many months of resist-we-much trying the country’s beloved and last white president passed away gently last night under the murderous assault of his favorite MyPillow. Sad yes, but on the other hand it’s really just another old and unvaxxed white man down and he won’t be the last. (Backhoes are working across the nation as I speak.) In accordance with his and the former First Lady Whats-Her-Face wishes, Joey will be given a full state funeral before being buried at Arlington in a grave next to the nearest Civil War septic tank and beneath a stone whose immortal epitaph will be “COME ON, MAN. PERIOD.

“We take you now to the brand new Air Force One somewhere over the Pacific with that new hottie mama Prez, my babe, Kameltoe Harris where with the witnessing of Oprah she’s gonna take that ever-popular Oath of Office from some random priest dug up on the Hana Road as she begins her record-setting nine terms as President….”

Cutaway to the interior set of “Air Force One.”

Harris: “I Kameltoe Harris do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Living Constitution of the United States forever and ever.”

“You may kiss the Oprah… “

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • jwm August 19, 2021, 8:59 AM

    Cruel humor.
    T’ain’t funny, Mcgee.
    Except it is.


  • Casey Klahn August 19, 2021, 9:08 AM

    Brilliant. It has that ring of truth to it.

    Mike Lindell did the cyber symposium, and took fecal face washes from a garden hose the whole time. Antifa mob style physical intimidation, airborne surveillance January 6th Stasi style…the whole works. Now, a caucus of congress critters will begin the long, difficult process of lobbying for vote integrity. A news headline also says that the RNC now admits there was election fraud (those cunts!).

    Biden, gives up on Afghanistan because he’s a loser, and he never was in the army. That fukn whore. He said you can’t prevent chaos, but I GD told this esteemed site the day before how it’s done. It’s a military op called withdrawal under pressure. Biden “can’t guarantee the safety” of Americans in aFagaStan. Meanwhile, Brit paras are conducting motor patrols through Kabul and rescuing their citizens.

    So, now we have the parallel to Benghazi that we were worried about.

  • PA Cat August 19, 2021, 9:08 AM

    Where’s Hunter? He should have a part in this yarn, either as 1) the real wielder of the pillow as an act of revenge for having to fund the Big Guy with his own grifted gains; 2) Rapinoe’s replacement as “Dr.” Jill’s source of comfort; 3) Kamalalaladingdong’s VP; 4) the CDC’s new director of drug research and development; or 5) the new ambassador to Afghanistan.

  • Dirk August 19, 2021, 9:35 AM

    One can always hope for this, or similar. Not sleeping well? Fuck Biden, thousands are taking dirt naps because of this prick.


  • Tom Hyland August 19, 2021, 9:41 AM

    Last week Mike Lindell held a symposium in South Dakota during which he played this video to those in attendance. Titled “How Why & Who Stole the Election” this contains some disturbing and damning evidence. https://tinyurl.com/4we2jpd3

  • James ONeil August 19, 2021, 10:04 AM

    Blame Biden? Rather silly I think. It’s the ones who appointed him president that have destroyed America.

    Hundreds of political prisoners languishing in D.C.

    Jack booted thugs, 15 postal service police men, I repeat, postal service policemen, in case you think you didn’t read it right, postal serviced policemen, 15 of them, riot geared up, sent to arrest a triple amputee vet.

    Visaed Afgans airlifted out of Kabul ahead of American citizens.

    First they came for…. but I wasn’t… So I did nothing.

    Sorry buster, looks to me like we waited far too long.

    None the less the Republic was grand, while it lasted.

  • Casey Klahn August 19, 2021, 10:51 AM

    Rise up!

    Watch this jewel of resistance:

  • ghostsniper August 19, 2021, 12:07 PM

    It is not just that the elite class is incompetent – even kings could be incompetent without undermining belief in monarchy as a system – it is that they are so grossly, spectacularly incompetent that they walk around among us as living rebuttals of meritocracy itself. It is that their application of managerial logic to whatever field they get their grubby mitts on – from homelessness in California to industrial policy to running a war – makes that thing ten times more expensive and a hundred times more dysfunctional.

    To make the situation worse, the current elites seem almost serene in their willful destruction of the very fields they rely on for legitimacy. When the ”experts” go out of their way to write public letters about how covid supposedly only infects people who hold demonstrations in support of ”structural white supremacy”, while saying that Black Lives Matter demonstrations pose no risk of spreading the virus further, this amounts to the farmer gleefully salting his own fields to make sure nothing can grow there in the future. How can anyone expect the putative peasants of our social order to ”trust the science”, when the elites themselves are going out of their way, against all reason and the tenets of basic self-preservation, to make such a belief completely impossible even for those who really, genuinely, still want to believe?

    The managerial class increasingly appears as a sort of funhouse mirror inversion of the doomed Russian nobility of the late tsarist era; they no longer know how to run a country and only seem to parasitize on the body politic while giving almost nothing of value in return. In tsarist Russia, the nobility proved increasingly incapable of winning Russia’s wars or running its ministries, making their legitimating narratives proclaiming them to possess some natural-born right and capacity for rulership increasingly impossible to believe in.

    In modern America, it is the meritocrats who now openly lack any merit or ability to rule, quickly undermining the ability of the average person to believe in the very foundational claims behind the managerial order. And by what right does the collective of non-divine kings rule? To borrow from Schmitt: by the same right as the collective of stupid and ignorant technocrats. In other words, by virtue of simply not having been replaced yet. Nothing more.

    I find it very likely that most future historians will put the date of the real beginning of the collapse of the current political and geopolitical order right here, right now, at the US withdrawal from Afghanistan. Just as with any other big historical process, however, many others will point out that the seeds of the collapse were sown much farther back, and that a case can be made for several other dates, or perhaps no specific date at all. This is how we modern people look at the fall of the french ancien regime, after all. Still, it is quite obvious that the epoch of the liberal technocrat is now over. The bell has well and truly tolled for mankind’s belief in their ability to do anything else than enrich themselves and ruin things for everyone else.

    How long it will take for their institutions to disappear, or before they end up toppled by popular discontent and revolution, no one can know. But at this point, I think most people on some level now understand that it really is only a matter of time.


    • Bear Claw Chris Lapp August 23, 2021, 2:45 PM

      Sounds like the story of King Ahab and Jezebel being destroyed by the prophet Elijah.

  • Callmelennie August 19, 2021, 12:57 PM

    Great link, Ghost!! … Gerard, check out The Snipe’s link. You may very well want to post it. Its that good.

  • Casey Klahn August 19, 2021, 2:58 PM

    Allow me to add to your excellent comment, Ghost. Lara Logan is telling Fox News that the reason for the shit show in aFagIstan is that the powers that be are willing the chaos. That makes more sense than much I’m reading, but it doesn’t contradict your premise that most the Clown Car occupants are imbecilic. Fast Forward to SecDef Austin the US no can do the numbers of evacuees who need to be rescued. No. Can. Do. Perhaps we’re TOO FUKN GAY.

    Add the report I just read that yesterday we rescued, get this: 2k. In my day, if an army unit is tasked with rescuing 40k lost souls from a shrinking pocket, we’d GD get that job done if we had to pull survivors out of our collective asses. Can’t don’t enetr into it.

    Now “we can’t”. Said in Urban Sexual voice.

    The DC bomber: how many FBI guys tended that little nightmare?

  • Dirk August 20, 2021, 8:17 AM

    Ain’t nothing going to change, we the people lack the will, the strength the desire to make the necessary corrections.


    Absolutely nothing has changed on this mountain.