Drive-By: Elizabeth Warren. Obviously.

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• MWTexas March 15, 2018, 10:38 AM

  Every time I see Land O’ Lakes box I remember a time way back in high school where someone cut the knees off the picture of the Land O’ Lakes girl and glued them on her chest… well it was high school funny.

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• Country mouse March 15, 2018, 1:57 PM

  I thought of the same thing. And it’s still funny! But what we did was cut the bottom and sides of the box she’s holding to make a flap, and then tape another set of knees behind the flap. So you had to lift the flap to get a peek. Surprisingly convincing!

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• Ralph Kinney Bennett March 15, 2018, 6:34 PM

  You are absolutely right about that DNA test. Lies-As-She-Walks has suddenly become Spit-And-Shut Up.

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• ghostsniper March 15, 2018, 6:50 PM

  I saw the same thing in jr high.
  You cut out the butter box she’s holding.
  Then you cut the sides of her knees the same width as the butter box hole.
  Fold it in such a way that the knees become the titties.
  Yung dooz got a kik outta that shit.

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• Punditarian March 16, 2018, 12:27 PM

  Still get a kick out of that juvenile trick. I think it works better if you use a second panel for the knees, and tape that piece behind the butter box, cut out on only three sides to form a flap. They used to have a box with the label “Tasty Butter Tips” that was ideal for the purpose.

  The Fauxcahontas box design is hilarious, too. Now if we can only get President Trump to realize that her nickname is Fauxcahontas instead of Pocahontas . . . .

  The DNA ethnicity tests are far from perfect, and I am not sure I would trust the results from any of the usual vendors. However, the results of very detailed genealogies are indisputable.

  No matter, Fauxcahontas did not meet the federally-approved standard for being entitled for advancement as a Native American, in that she has zero-zilch-nada history of any involvement in any cultural or community activity whatsoever with any Native American group. I think it is only too clear that she claimed Cherokee ancestry to get a leg up at Harvard, and stopped claiming it when it was no longer necessary to further her career. That’s just despicable.

  The matter of her family folklore is interesting but unsubstantiated. A similar example is the Hildebeast’s comment that she was named after Sir Edmund P Hillary – something that is manifestly impossible since Sir Edmund was an unknown New Zealand beekeeper when HRC was born, and did not become famous until some 7 years later. However, I think it is plausible that Hillary’s parents told her, when she was 7 or 8, that she had been named after Sir Edmund, and that she never thought that through and naively believed it all her life. So too, Fauxcahontas might have been told about Cherokee ancestry – but I think there is no evidence that anyone else in her family ever believed it.

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• twolaneflash March 18, 2018, 6:08 PM

  My family is one that never claimed their Cherokee heritage. My great grandmother, a Cherokee, married my great grandfather who was a physician in Oklahoma. She would not allow her family to register when the government started establishing the native database because blacks were registering to avoid being labeled Negro. One of my aunts claimed her status, was involved for years in native American ceremonies and politics, and became close friends with Billy Mills, the Indian activist and 10K Olympic gold medalist in 1964. Tracing my mother’s family back 15 generations, my grandfather was a Major General at Jamestown, Virginia and survived the massacre by Indians on March 22, 1622 that killed some one-third of the colonists.

  Fauxcahontas…*spit*

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