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the mud below.

Vae victis – America’s water-polo elections:

Let’s face facts. There is nothing historically un-American about election skulduggery. Not only is it traditional, it may even be proper. If your party gets outskulduggled, that tells us something—just as if you lost a real head-bashing contest. It tells you that the other side was strong and your side was weak.

Woe to the defeated, Brennus said! And chucked his sword upon the scales—which the whipped Romans had to balance in gold. They remembered that whipping for a long time. Maybe they even turned a profit on it in the end.

While skulduggery is wrong, in a sense it is right; because an election is a proxy for civil war. Perhaps the best analogy is water polo. Above the water, water polo is a sport with a referee. Under the water, anything goes—these guys are twisting each others’ balls all afternoon. (And their lawyers are twisting each others’ balls about the rules.) Also, if you do not play the underwater game, you are playing wrong and will just lose.

Since balloted elections are actually designed to destroy information—that secret-ballot thing—the bottom layer of every election, the trust layer below anything the security layer can touch—is pure agar for any and all ball-twisting fuckery. The security of an election is a consequence of the thickness of this layer and should be treated as such. Also, if you do not play the underwater game, you are playing wrong and will just lose.

If any election system were fuckery-proof, would it need election observers? Also: is there any system in America that counts or tracks citizens precisely and reliably? Also: is there any system in America that you would trust to mechanically distinguish everyone’s signature from some random scrawl? Also: what stops anyone running a voting station from slipping ballots in at the end of the day, while crossing off the names of people who didn’t vote? There is plenty of evidence that there is no election fraud—and plenty of evidence that no one is looking for it, or even could find it.

We know exactly what a genuinely secure physical and electronic counting system looks like. It looks like Vegas. We know exactly what a genuinely secure 21st-century voting system looks like. It looks like Sweden, Mexico or even Iraq.

Ours looks nothing like any of these things. It looks, in fact, like a typical American shitshow. (Or, as the New York Times put it in 2016, horror show.) And anyone who lacks quick and savage comebacks for the above questions is ill-positioned to educate us out of this Bayesian prior.

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Dirk November 7, 2021, 7:08 AM

    Was just reading that “ Slow Joe” ripped a big ol fart in front of British royalty, with a grin on his face. Fucker should be wearing a diaper, “ Oops I can’t believe I shit myself” brand.

    Good morning


    • Richard November 7, 2021, 9:22 AM

      Just came across the story you mention. What an embarrassment. But still SOOOO much better than those awful mean-tweets, amirite? https://tinyurl.com/49hxvxpv

      And this is the brain trust that’s going to mandate everyone must be vaxxed with a substance that is essentially playing Russian Roulette . What could possibly go wrong? https://tinyurl.com/umcjp6w

      • ghostsniper November 7, 2021, 10:25 AM

        “It was long and loud and impossible to ignore,”
        Those sauerkraut, soy bean and broccoli burrito’s obviously.

    • Casey Klahn November 7, 2021, 10:21 AM

      My fam enjoys Biden memes. I just linked them that story, and said he farted next to the Duchess of Corn-hole. My son hates Brits.

      • Mike Austin November 7, 2021, 11:56 AM

        I can’t stand them. Especially their accent. We Americans kicked their ass twice and tossed them back to their dank little island. Good riddance. The English eat “eels and mash”, have terrible teeth, posses veiny legs, and are in a running match with the Irish for the most physically unattractive white folks on the planet.

        Look at them today. They are governed by Muslims, they allow “rape gangs” to watch their little girls, their males are completely feminized, and they have completely bought into the “pandemic” nonsense. They once claimed to “rule the waves”. Now they cannot even rule the Thames—or themselves.

  • Mike Austin November 7, 2021, 9:04 AM

    Election “skullduggery” has been around since the idea of voting was conjured up 2500 years ago. Perhaps the guy who came up with voting by the common people is one of History’s great geniuses. Or perhaps he was the greatest fool ever born. Mencken favored the latter, puffed up bigoted snob that he was.

    The expansion of the franchise in America has naturally expanded the possibilities of voting “irregularities”. Voting is now completely out of control—illegals can now vote in some places—rendering the idea of a representative republic moot. It is true that “an election is a proxy for civil war” but only if all parties involved think the election fair. We are now at the point where no party thinks elections are fair. The Democrat Party works to keep elections under their control; the Republicans howl a little bit but then do nothing.

    Corrupt elections benefit the ruling class in Washington DC, and this is not going to change without civil war. After the war the winning side will abandon the silly notion of voting. The winner will vote with his rifle.

    So win, ok?

    • John Venlet November 7, 2021, 10:17 AM

      The winner will vote with his rifle.

      Truth. It’s the only vote that actually counts, and is the only way to “vote” our way out of this boondoggle. Unfortunately.

    • Casey Klahn November 7, 2021, 10:27 AM

      The 2A is the ultimate vote.
      Closer to the ground, I’d say I have to agree with the article. When I was a teenage Young Democrat, we stuffed ballots (1975). The mistake that is made is to wink and nod and say that both sides do it so don’t make waves. That’s bullshit. The dems excel at election engineering, and the proper response is cruel and hard legal battle. Bury them in lawyers. Mock them in public. Refuse to treat the dem voters and operatives like normal citizens.
      Andrew Breitbart: “WAR”.

  • Mike Austin November 7, 2021, 10:47 AM

    I don’t know Casey. This has been going on for so long that I doubt “a cruel and hard legal battle” will have any effect. The Democrats are masters at this art. And most lawyers are Democrats. Recall that it was nearly impossible for even President Trump to find a lawyer that favored his interests.

    Just as the phrase “there’s no voting our way out of this mess” resonates, I would add that there is no negotiating our way out of this mess. When Breitbart said, “Fuck you. War.”, he meant war, not debate, legal briefs, courtrooms and years of negotiation. He meant political violence, where people get killed and things get broken.

    We cannot win this war upon the battle fields favored by the Democrats.

    • Casey Klahn November 7, 2021, 10:55 AM

      I won’t disagree.
      I’m convinced that the only thing that hasn’t caused us to be backed off of the final precipice is the gun-owning Americans that the Leninist Dems fear greatly. I think they actually thought there’d be a march on DC when they threw in all of those national guardsmen for Biden’s fake inauguration. When Biden said he has all the nukes, planes and tanks, those were goading words.
      Fight it as a defense, though. It’s the strong position.

      • Mike Austin November 7, 2021, 11:18 AM

        The Democrats certainly, without any question whatsoever, fear Americans with guns—all 100,000,000 of us. They can find no method to get the guns away from us. But unless they do that, they will fail and go the way of the French ruling class in 1789 and after.

        The Democrats have used—and still use—laws, threats, lawyers, “progressive” District Attorneys, to get our guns. Our response is to buy more guns, which worsens the Democrats’ position.

        Biden’s threats were those of a fearful and half-witted child. Pelosi’s fences and National Guardsmen were the actions of a fearful and alcoholic octogenarian. When the shooting starts I wonder which way the agents of the government will aim their weapons? Our rulers ask themselves the same question. Thus the culling of patriots from the military.

        I can think of no war that has been won on defense.

  • Dirk November 7, 2021, 1:42 PM

    Fella’s once being involved don’t make it right. Knowing how it works, should make it easier to suggest solutions.


  • OneGuy November 7, 2021, 4:48 PM

    I expect this from Democrats and their dishonesty is why they should never be in power. But I was more angry wit the Republicans who did nothing to stop it and did nothing afterwards to reverse it and did nothing to bring the criminals before a court. If today, one year later some of the cheaters were in jail and others were facing prosecution THEN I could forgive the Republicans and look forward to the next election. But since every cheater got away with it while Republican protestors are being held in Gulags I cannot forgive and cannot forget. The Democrats are anti-American Marxists who want to destroy our country and the Republicans are stupid and will not only let them but will likely help them by voting for it. We are screwed.

    • Mike Austin November 7, 2021, 10:59 PM

      Outside of a mere handful of politicians, there is only one party in Washington DC, the “Uniparty”. It serves its own interests, and the people be damned. It has been this way for half a century at least.

      As long as the 100,000,000 million Americans who possess guns do not surrender them, we are not screwed. The Uniparty is.

      • OneGuy November 8, 2021, 6:39 AM

        So, the uniparty has been screwing us for decades show me how that 100,000,000 people did anything effective to stop them. This is a myth. The problem is we are too comfortable to take our country back. We are frogs on a slow boil. The mythical 2nd amendment patriots are busy drinking beer and barbecuing on the weekend and post crap like that on-line.

        • Mike Austin November 8, 2021, 6:54 AM

          You use the pronoun “we” a lot. I didn’t know that you were the spokesman for those 100,000,000 Americans with guns. Who elected you?

      • James ONeil November 8, 2021, 9:40 AM

        All three of our Alaskan Republican elected and sent to D.C. critters voted in support of Biden’s, the democrat’s. infrastructure bill including the don’t buy American if the corporations can get it from China cheaper inclusion.

        Maybe masking up is a good idea, if we then say Stand & Deliver.

  • ghostsniper November 7, 2021, 5:00 PM

    A thousand tiny cuts.
    You’ll die from sepsis.

  • Dirk November 7, 2021, 6:40 PM

    Two parties, na, it’s one happy club, don’t believe me, thirteen scumbags,,,,,,,batting, Republican,,,,,,,,just supported the infrastructure bill for a cool 1.5 Trillion.

    Two party, nope. I ask sincerely why o why are these 13 Republicans not hung yet.

    But wait, Let’s ask the blog dads, I’m sure they will skillfully analyze just exactly what went wrong, with cunning precision, precise knowledge, from gods lips, to their ears exclusively.

    Yet, I still believe if your not voting, you are a huge part of the political problem within these United States.

    Gotta go, rented “ Ol Henry” for the second time. Simple, yet awesome. By the way, who exactly was Henry McCarty?. Researched this question when I learned of the movie being made, ooo seven months ago.


  • stephen_barron November 8, 2021, 7:10 AM

    I played some water polo in younger days. It is exactly as described herein. When I talked to people about it I would say: “Yeah, it’s like basketball: a ‘non-contact’ sport.”

  • M.Murcek November 8, 2021, 7:18 AM

    The whole thing has a lot in common with those stories about a world where suddenly the ability to lie is withdrawn. the results are, uh, exciting.

  • John P Coggeshall November 8, 2021, 6:57 PM

    Hey, really…why has no one mentioned “Box 13”?…if you want to know how (or if)( or WHY) Dimocrats steal elections…really…REALLY…look up “Box 13” or maybe “box 13 scandal” [they keep trying to hide it…