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All I Really Need to Know About Jigsaw Puzzles I Learned In 2020

I’m just trying to do this jig-saw puzzle / Before it rains anymore

Email from Blogspammer. Subject: [Data] The impact of COVID on jigsaw puzzle activity attitude to vanderleun@gmail.com via Gmail

Hi Gerard,

Lockdowns and social distancing measures led to jigsaw puzzles flying off the shelves this year as people searched for new ways to entertain themselves. As one of the world’s largest puzzle producers, we recently conducted a market research study to assess the state of puzzling a year on from the outbreak of the COVID pandemic outbreak.

Here are a few of the key findings:

  • The COVID-19 pandemic boosted puzzling activity — 54% of respondents puzzled more (average number assembled rose from 4.28 to 6.25) than pre-COVID
  • In the coming year, 98% of current puzzlers expect to continue assembling and 94% say they will continue to purchase puzzles
  • More than 1 in 5 respondents (including 1 in 4 Millennials) say the crisis prompted a change in attitudes about puzzling

Would you like more information about this for? Please let me know and I’d be happy to share additional data. Let me know!

Best,

Victoria

Dear Victoria, American Digest is what you forgot to tell your spam letter  robot to include at the “for?”  And frankly my dear I don’t give a damn about your inane puzzling stats. I suggest you find a job that is not such a waste of life, but should you wish to flack on about nothing that is why God made the spam flag and the Delete Button.

Given the last year with the Communist Chinese bioweapon ravaging America and the world, I think the following is all I really need to know about Jigsaw Puzzles:

There’s a tramp sittin’ on my doorstep
Tryin’ to waste his time
With his methylated sandwich
He’s a walking clothesline
And here comes the bishop’s daughter
On the other side
And she looks a trifle jealous
She’s been an outcast all her life

Me, I’m waiting so patiently
Lying on the floor
I’m just trying to do my jig-saw puzzle
Before it rains anymore

Oh the gangster looks so fright’ning
With his Luger in his hand
But when he gets home to his children
He’s a family man
But when it comes to the nitty-gritty
He can shove in his knife
Yes he really looks quite religious
He’s been an outlaw all his life

Me, I’m waiting so patiently
Lying on the floor
I’m just trying to do this jig-saw puzzle
Before it rains anymore

Yes, yes now
Oh, all right

Me, I’m waiting so patiently
Lying on the floor
I’m just trying to do this jig-saw puzzle
Before it rains anymore

Oh the singer, he looks angry
At being thrown to the lions
And the bass player, he looks nervous
About the girls outside
And the drummer, he’s so shattered
Trying to keep up time
And the guitar players look damaged
They’ve been outcasts all their lives

Me, I’m waiting so patiently
Lying on the floor
I’m just trying to do this jig-saw puzzle
Before it rains anymore

Oh, there’s twenty-thousand grandmas
Wave their hankies in the air
All burning up their pensions
And shouting, “It’s not fair!”
There’s a regiment of soldiers
Standing looking on
And the queen is bravely shouting,
“What the hell is going on?”

With a blood-curdling “tally-ho”
She charged into the ranks
And blessed all those grandmas who
With their dying breaths screamed, “Thanks!”

Me, I’m just waiting so patiently
With my woman on the floor
We’re just trying to do this jig-saw puzzle
Before it rains anymore

{ 6 comments… add one }
  • ghostsniper April 6, 2021, 1:00 PM

    Long ago and far away I used to do BIG puzzles, 1,000-10,000 pieces. Then I got out of it for about 30 years. 2 years ago I was working on a 1000 piece one and it was on the dining room table for a few days as it progressed. One evening after supper (we eat in the living room in front of the toob) I saw a couple chewed up puzzle pieces on the floor. My mutt Shannon had partaken apparently. She ruined it so I threw the whole thing in the burn barrel and haven’t tried another puzzle since. Puzzles for me are like my ah-ummm. I get a lot of good thinkin dun while pretending to accomplish something.

  • Lance de Boyle April 6, 2021, 1:51 PM

    No offense, Gerard, but you missed a few of the “key” findings.

    Here are a few of the foreshadowed key findings:

    1. The COVID-19 pandemic boosted puzzling activity.
    2 respondents (N = 2) said that they were more puzzled than ever. Rising even to baffled or stumped. Not to say altogether stymied.
    They used to be puzzled oh, maybe, once in a while. Now, they averred, they were puzzled “a bit more.”

    2. In the coming year, 98% of current puzzlers (N = 3) expect to continue puzzling and fucking around.
    Mrs. Ida Hoe (clever in Junior High) said, “I have a puzzle with me wherever I go. Here’s one in my shorts. How’d it get there? Puzzling.”

    3. More than 1 in 5 respondents (N =2) including 1 in 4 Millennials (N = 2) say the crisis prompted a change in attitudes about puzzling.
    The modal response was,
    “I used to think that working puzzles was for idiots. Now I am sure of it.”
    “Oh, yeah, well fuck you.”
    “No, fuck YOU!”
    “Your Momma.”
    “No YOUR momma.”

    Also
    Changes in latitudes such that
    Nothing remains quite the same.

  • Kevin in PA April 6, 2021, 5:36 PM

    Jigsaw Puzzle is one of those obscure tunes from the Stones that has always been one of my favorites.

  • Hoss April 7, 2021, 4:27 AM

    My wife of 32 years is a puzzle at times. That being said we just finished a 500 piece puzzle of WW2 air planes with our grandson. Allied and Axis and all with excellent information about each individual plane. It was fun.

  • Sam L. April 7, 2021, 7:37 AM

    Isn’t the “jig” part of “jigsaw’, RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACIST????!!!

  • jwm April 7, 2021, 11:43 AM

    That was a Greedence Glearwater song :
    Keep on Poozlin’.
    Which is good advice. Life is short; get all the poozle you can get.

    JWM

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