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THE BIDEN PLAN PREDICTION: I HAVE A DREAM!

One time ago a crazy dream came to me
I dreamt I was walkin’ into World War Three
I went to the doctor the very next day
To see what kinda words he could say
He said it was a bad dream
I wouldn’t worry ’bout it none, though
Them old dreams are only in your head  — Dylan

It came to me at midnight tapping on my window pane like the headless horseman searching for a tweaker’s free heroin injection site. In my dream saw the future of the Democrat Party.

Here’s the plan as revealed to me by divine revelation:

Joe is nominated — and after the ashes of Milwaukee cool to room temperature — he comes out of hiding and he chooses a Vice-President, a “VP”.

That VP
is key.

The VP-TO-BE must have vitality, blackness, and be a gyno-American Democrat from topknot to toenails.

This means the return of Kamala Harris, a woman who kneels to nobody in her deep understanding of how careers in politics are made. She is approved by standing ovulation.

BESTIES AGAIN!

And so Biden/Harris sallies forth on the campaign trail to thunderous snoring… but then….

Then the Sad Tragic “Accident” strikes. The mostest terriblest tragedy NOBODY SAW COMING AT ALL! smacks the good ship Biden/Harris like some cerebral iceberg.

Yes, Uncle Joe is laid low.

Because?

Because Joe, you know, has got to go.

Through either false flag or friendly fire old Joe is made dead or made stroked. Either way, his breath or his brain is kablooey… and that’s no malarky.

This means Kamala must now, dare I say it?, pick up the white man’s burden and soldier on.

Kamala’s first act? To name a vice-president, of course, and who better than…

a Bernie Sanders fresh from the rejuvenation vats with his pointy finger fully botoxed?

Voila, Harris/Sanders debuts to thunderous wall-o-sound flatulence barrages coming in from the surviving media hacks.

BESTIES!

This new configuration of Harris/Sanders would secure blacks, feminists, femboys, ladyboys, soyboys, betamales, drag queens, communists, very dumb children, and preandpost menopausal suburban moms to whom Trump represents every alpha male’s rejection of them in their entire lives – 1st grade Valentine card trading day on up.

Then, to scoop up any outlying votes, the HARRIS/SANDERS sleeper cell reveals the barbecued brain trust they will have ready to rock in their first hundred days at the helm of the supertanker USSA.

Those assignments will be:

SECRETARY OF STATE: HILLARY CLINTON
SECRETARY OF THE INTERIOR: MAYOR PETE
ATTORNEY GENERAL: ELIZABETH WARREN
SECRETARY OF DEFENSE: MICHELLE OBAMA
SECRETARY OF THE TREASURY: MAXINE WATERS
SECRETARY OF HOMELAND SECURITY: ILHAN ABDULLAHI OMAR
SECRETARY OF AGRICULTURE: ANDREW YANG
SECRETARY OF EDUCATION: AL SHARPTON
SECRETARY OF ENERGY: COORY BOOKER
SECRETARY OF HEALTH AND HUMAN SERVICES: WANG YANI (On loan from Wuhan Institute of Virology)
SECRETARY OF TRANSPORTATION: TULSI GABBARD
SECRETARY OF LABOR: MICHAEL BLOOMBERG
SECRETARY OF COMMERCE: JULIAN CASTRO
HOUSING: AMY KLOBUCHAR
IRS: LOIS LERNER
SURGEON GENERAL: MARIANNE WILLIAMSON
SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE: ALEXANDRIA OCASIO-CORTEZ

And there high imagination failed, and my gorge rose, my hair burst into flame, and I woke up screaming, “I GOTS THE FEAR! I GOTS THE FEAR!”

Thank the Lord it was but a dream.

Did it portend anything? Nah. It’s probably nothing.<hr>

Well, now time passed and now it seems
Everybody’s having them dreams
Everybody sees themselves walkin’ around with no one else
Half of the people can be part right all of the time
Some of the people can be all right part of the time
But all of the people can’t be all right all of the time
I think Abraham Lincoln said that
I’ll let you be in my dreams if I can be in yours
I said that

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Lance de Boyle March 3, 2020, 4:53 PM

    That could never happen. The same way that bumblebees could never fly. Ineeda nuther drink.

  • Tom Hyland March 3, 2020, 5:37 PM

    THAT’S some scary shit. Glad that came out of your head and not mine. Thanks for mentioning Bernie’s pointy finger! That is absolute reality and extremely annoying. Also, it’s manic, rather psychotic, obsessive, unconscious, and my mom always said it’s very rude to point. Right arm, Bernie, right arm.

  • ghostsniper March 3, 2020, 5:43 PM

    I’d be living on the southern tip of Argentina by then. I always wanted to be a cowboy, but no pointy assed boots.

  • jwm March 3, 2020, 5:52 PM

    I’d laugh were it not so plausible.
    My sense of humor is kind of gut shot right now.

    JWM

  • Snakepit Kansas March 3, 2020, 7:22 PM

    I am not sure anyone wants Hillary around again. She is like a dose of ringworm that won’t quite go away. She’s at a party and all the Chardonnay is gone, but she still won’t leave. God forgive me up front but if an anvil fell out of the sky on her I’d throw a keg party in my front yard.

  • Geoff C. The Saltine March 3, 2020, 8:04 PM

    Yep you got it right.
    But you forgot one thing, Hillary will kill them both and then she is Queen and King and will rule the world.
    (After she takes out the leader of the house, Miss Lube Rack)

  • andre March 3, 2020, 8:33 PM

    Yes, the key is the VP. Joe should be afraid. His days are numbered.

  • Casey Klahn March 3, 2020, 9:50 PM

    If you can get in the democratic’s head and think through his strategies, you are much brilliantah than I. If the democratic (purposefully misformed because “democratic party” is also a malform when the GD thing should read democrat) had any kind of sense at all, he wouldn’t run any of these clowns already shown.

    There are better salespeople at Payless than these dipshlitz running for the highest office in the land. Marxism? Are you fukkin kidding me? Social issues? get offa my gawdamned leg you turd hoppers.

    OK. Takes a deep breath. Realizes the democrat presidential panel is, indeed, the playbook that the libs want. Shakes head…feels the creeping doom of that half of America hellbent to rollback the bill of rights and bellyflop itself onto the false largess whale of social policies. Feels nauseous.

    The Walmart manager today told me that the reason I was carded to buy .22 varmint rounds was because the current Washington law is such that adult residents can only buy ammo in state. Or some such horseshit. The local Cabelas is across the state line, in Idaho. I am not legal to go there and buy ammo, I am told. Plus, this shit changes daily. Oh well. Under Obama’s reign of terror, I could not find any varmint rounds at all on the shelves.

    Going to inventory my ammunition and take stock of the rude times coming. Also noted the run on toilet paper at the store today. I’m no conspiracy theorist, but dayumn. No toilet paper or ammo? I smell Venezuela coming.

    Since I’m on democrats, virus news and Washington, I will note how my asswipe governor decided to shit on VP Pence yesterday when the VP phoned him to coordinate virus issues. My state: the KungFlu death state. My governor: the Chad who shitz on the Trump administration because: stupidbrain.

    Let’s see…a couple hundred rounds of 12 gauge heavy shot… .357 magnum rounds a few dozen…damn shame I don’t own any weapons no more…

  • Nunnya Bidnez, jr March 4, 2020, 6:18 AM

    Trump will get re-elected.
    Pence will resign.
    Trump names Steve Bannon as VP; gets confirmed by Senate.
    Eventually Trump resigns; Bannon becomes President.
    Bannon names … VanDerLeun!! as Vice President.
    and I do mean — VICE-President.
    Of course he gets confirmed.

    my dream beats your nightmare any day of the week.

  • Former Lurker March 4, 2020, 6:22 AM

    It’s never too late to start shooting.

  • Sam L. March 4, 2020, 7:53 AM

    “Coory”??? Booker? Sure; why not?

  • Vanderleun March 4, 2020, 7:53 AM

    And it is Former Lurker with the Win! Especially with Bloomberg out.

  • Ray Van Dune March 4, 2020, 8:02 AM

    Sorry, you got Mini-Mike in the wrong slot…
    SECRETARY OF AGRICULTURE: MICHAEL BLOOMBERG

  • azlibertarian March 4, 2020, 8:24 AM

    I’ve got two problems with your tale…..
    1. …Kamala Harris, a woman who kneels to nobody in her deep understanding of how careers in politics are made. Willie Brown might know differently.
    2. …[O]ld Joe is … made stroked. Either way, his breath or his brain is kablooey… and that’s no malarky. How could we tell the difference between a pre-stroke Biden and a post-stroke Biden?

    Other than that, you’re right that should Biden win the nomination, the key will be the selection of his VP-nominee.

  • Gordon Scott March 4, 2020, 9:02 AM

    In mid 1944, no one had seen Franklin Roosevelt in public for months. Pressing war duties, you know, and people bought that. When Harry Truman was selected to run with Roosevelt, he accepted. A while later he actually got to meet with Roosevelt and came away shocked.

    A friend, who had also seen Roosevelt, told Truman, “Harry, you’re not running for vice-President. You’re running for President.”

    Truman, grim faced, replied, “I know.”

  • Gordon Scott March 4, 2020, 9:08 AM

    As for who will be Biden’s veep choice, Scott Adams predicted that Kamala Harris was the obvious choice back when she dropped out. Of course, Adams had predicted that Harris would be the nominee months before that, before anyone had seen her on a debate stage.

    But if the criteria are black, senator, and known for being on knees in front of powerful men, it could just as easily be Cory “Sptharticuth” Booker.

  • James ONeil March 4, 2020, 10:13 AM

    “…damn shame I don’t own any weapons no more…” I know how you feel Casey, I lost all mine when my canoe tipped over in the Chena River back in the Obama era.

    Speaking of rounds of 12 gauge heavy shot…, In spite of the ‘experts’ sayin’ different my (if I hadn’t lost it in the river) Winchester Model 1912 bear gun’s loaded slug, double 00, slug, double 00, double 00, double 00.

  • Casey Klahn March 4, 2020, 5:18 PM

    James. My former Mossberg Marine 12 gauge required a change in sight picture from slug to other rounds. Hmmm. If’n a bear runs about 25 MPH on an outright tear, and he’s barreling down on ya, be sure round one is all you need. Round 2 will not get you to round three. But, a .12 Gauge slug is for sure the last round in my inventory I’d ever want to be hit with.

    My dad kilt (he always said it that way: “kilt”) a handful of bear and my understanding is they runaway like a scared girl when wounded. But a charging griz is not who I want to test that knowledge against.

    Never too late to start shooting. NTLTSS: new acronym.

  • BWayne March 4, 2020, 5:58 PM

    NAWWW, The VP is gonna be Hillary and Biden will resign————-oh wait. NO WAY is Biden gonna be elected Pres. After Trumps second term we need to elect Ivanka or Jared so Donald can continue to work his magic

  • Snakepit Kansas March 5, 2020, 6:13 PM

    Lurker,
    “It’s never too late to start shooting” I just stole that one.