Clowns. Why does it always have to be clowns?
You wake up and there are clowns. You sleep and clowns cavort through your nightmares. Day in and day out the clowns are nattering nabobs of negativity on every channel and on every radio station and on every wussed out web site not utterly given over to gangster rap. Everywhere you turn the clowns are leaping up out of the media clown car to slap you in the face with a cyanide cream pie.
They’ve all agreed on the routine and so we have to watch these clowns climb in and out of the little cars for years. That’s the politics of the bogus in 2019, folks, clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right…
Like many others, I’ve heard the current DC Democrat clown show bleating in the middle distance all day. I’ve been listening for something but can’t pick it out from the clown cacophony.
Although I’ve heard a lot of IMPEACH HIM IMPEACH HIM OFF WITH HIS HEAD (AND HIS LITTLE FAMILY TOO!) oooga-horns BLEATING and seen a lot of SPUTUM seltzer being sprayed from CNN, I’m not hearing what I think I should hear, at least once, to convince me that all of congress, right, left and center, is a pack of clowns whacking each other over the head with poo-poo cushions. I know how it works and how silly it is. I’ve personally traveled to DC twice to testify before a congressional committee. It was very formalized and very useless. It’s no wonder nobody hears much of anything coming out of these clown congregations.
I’d like to think that congress is wise. I’d like to hear what I need to hear, but so far all I hear is the chittering blather of insane clowns and the vague chink-chink the drinking bird makes as it bobbles over the glass.
Once, just once, I’d like to hear a serious exchange; an exchange on a serious issue such as, oh, “Why were 3,000 Americans killed on September 11.” A serious exchange in the clown college that is congress might go like this:
Committee Clown: “So tell us again why, with all the zillions of chucky-bucks, we were throwing at this problem over the years, we were subjected to September 11. Somebody’s gotta get shot out of a cannon for this, you know.
Witness Clown: Well, I hate to break character here and give you a straight answer instead of just flapping my slapstick against the table, Congresspern, but if you can spare a moment from pondering that email promising penis enlargement, here’s the scoop. Nobody, but nobody — outside of about 50 Islam-addled whackjobs high on burning donkey dung — would have been able to believe on September 10,2001 that a cadre of crazed fanatics were going to hijack four airliners and drive them into three buildings and a field.
Nobody stopped it because nobody could imagine it other than those that did it, and those that ordered it done. It was, and is, an act of sheer evil so large and so outside the ability of a rational and civilized mind to entertain that we just couldn’t see it coming. I resent that both of us have to sit here wearing these drool cups and pretend somebody should have.
They got us because they were not only more evil than we imagined, they were more evil than we can imagine.
What we have learned, but obviously not well enough since we are sitting here in our baggy pants and clown makeup with red balls slapped on our noses, is that they will do even worse evil if we don’t haul our sorry tails out of this meeting right now and start erassing them pronto with all the fire and fury force at our command.
Am I getting through to you, Senator?
Am I letting you see the big picture?
You want the truth? You can’t handle the truth.
Hell, WE can’t handle the truth. We’re just going to sit here flailing about with pig bladders for the amusement of our blood-enemies watching the IMPEACH HIM IMPEACH HIM BLATHERTHON live streamed on CNN from some “Pelosi City ‘Sailor wanna hump-hump’ whiskey bar” until they decide to slaughter another 3,000, 30,000, 300,000 of our citizens at their desks and in their beds.
And, you know what? About 24 months after that happens — if they don’t manage to kill all of us in Foggy Bottom next time — we’ll all be sitting around here in our fright wigs again, and you’ll want to know why we didn’t see it coming.
I’ve been sitting here watching you pestilental clowns preen and pose and break wind for days and frankly, Senator, and other undistinguished members of this crapulous panel, my nausea runneth over at this lame blame game, and the one you’re now running against trump in the next ring over.
Now, if you will excuse me, Senator, I need to slap on some cold cream, lose this clown nose, and get my game face on. It’s clobbering time and we’d like to have the hammer back, okay?