July 29, 2014

Chrysler Turbo Encabulator

Semi-Transcript: For a number of years now, work has been proceeding in order to bring perfection to the crudely conceived idea of a transmission that would not only supply inverse reactive current for use in unilateral phase detractors, but would also be capable of automatically synchronizing cardinal grammeters. Such an instrument is the turbo-encabulator.

Now basically the only new principle involved is that instead of power being generated by the relative motion of conductors and fluxes, it's produced by the modial interaction of magneto-reluctance and capacitive diractance.

The original machine had a base plate of pre-famulated amulite surmounted by a malleable logarithmic casing in such a way that the two spurving bearings were in a direct line with the panametric fan. The latter consisted simply of six hydrocoptic marzlevanes, so fitted to the ambifacient lunar waneshaft that side fumbling was effectively prevented.

The main winding was of the normal lotus-o-delta type placed in panendermic semi-boloid slots of the stator, every seventh conductor being connected by a non-reversible tremie pipe to the differential girdle spring on the "up" end of the grammeters.

The turbo-encabulator has now reached a high level of development, and it’s being successfully used in the operation of novertrunnions. Moreover, whenever a forescent skor motion is required, it may also be employed in conjunction with a drawn reciprocation dingle arm, to reduce sinusoidal repleneration.

Posted by gerardvanderleun at July 29, 2014 12:48 PM
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"It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood." -- Karl Popper N.B.: Comments are moderated and may not appear immediately. Comments that exceed the obscenity or stupidity limits will be either edited or expunged.

I had read that the two spurving bearings were in a semi disdracted instead of direct line with the panametric fan. I stand corrected.

Posted by: Kelvin at July 29, 2014 1:31 PM

The Science Is IN!

Posted by: Cobb at July 29, 2014 1:57 PM

But does it fly?

Posted by: chuck at July 29, 2014 2:10 PM

I wonder how many versions of this exist. I've seen at least three.

Posted by: Joel at July 29, 2014 3:26 PM

Oh my achin winnetka!!

Posted by: Flannelputz at July 29, 2014 4:41 PM

Kelvin--you have two? My model has four. Are you sure that you're looking at the right part.

Posted by: John Farrier at July 29, 2014 5:55 PM

@John: Newer models were upgraded based on non-sinusoidal wurtzl harmonics.
The hematospheric third wave was subjuncted to the forth non-tangential spheroid karfuti so overall performance is mitigated. YMMV

Rumor has it that this announcer was cutting some normal demo vids for a sponsor and they wanted to do sound checks and the guy came up with this spoof.

Posted by: chasmatic at July 29, 2014 7:37 PM

Joel is right; there are a bunch of versions. This is allegedly the first filmed version, with the writer as narrator. More good information in the notes: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ac7G7xOG2Ag

Posted by: Al Johnson at July 29, 2014 8:02 PM

Can't wait until they finish development of the turbo-emasculator. Even have some test subjects in mind...

Posted by: Dr Bob at July 29, 2014 8:17 PM

But can you make it go?

Posted by: Jewel at July 29, 2014 9:34 PM

@Jewel: The Turbo Encabulator has mercoid ultra-vectoral articulating holloid gryroscopes. It not only goes, it stops in non-sequential arc segments.

Posted by: chasmatic at July 29, 2014 9:45 PM

You all mock, but I'll have you know that that device is the sole motive power for Golf Cart One.

Over one hundred and eighty missions, and counting!

The Golfer in Chief is gonna give himself a Distinguished Duffer Cross, with a Gallantry Wedge.

Well, actually, Reggie will give him the wedge, but, I digress.


Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX

P.S. Some intrepid soul needs to photoshop Golf Cart One, with the mission emblems thereon. Wouldn't hurt to have some clown car elements therein?

Posted by: Jim at July 29, 2014 9:49 PM

It would be perfect if it cleaned windows and did the dishes.

Posted by: Vermont Woodchuck at July 30, 2014 6:49 AM

That really renoberates the ol' cardio-vastibulation.

Posted by: Blackwing1 at July 30, 2014 9:11 AM

I prefer this (what I take to be older) version:


cheers chuck

Posted by: dhmosquito at July 30, 2014 11:00 AM

It's not "lotus-o-delta," it's delta-o-lotus, damn it! Who proofs these things?

Posted by: Francis W. Porretto at August 1, 2014 7:47 AM

Why, you do Porretto. I would have thought you knew that by now.

Posted by: Van der Leun at August 1, 2014 10:21 AM

"It's a simple head code, anyone can catch it." Love, love, love.

Posted by: Jason in KT at August 3, 2014 8:29 AM

History. This dates from WW2 era. Originally
written by British graduate student John Hellins Quick (1923-1991). It was published in 1944 by the British Institution of Electrical Engineers Students’ Quarterly Journal.

Posted by: Classic at August 4, 2014 5:28 AM