May 8, 2014

Seattle's Foot Fetish: Your Guide to the Continuing Crisis

Seattle severed foot, found in white sneaker, is the thirteenth foot found in B.C., Washington since 2007.


Posted by gerardvanderleun at May 8, 2014 6:32 AM
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"It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood." -- Karl Popper N.B.: Comments are moderated and may not appear immediately. Comments that exceed the obscenity or stupidity limits will be either edited or expunged.

I wonder if any of those thirteen feet are pairs. That would make, um, lemme see, er, yeah six and a half persons. Doesn't sound so bad that way. Doesn't the Coast Guard have a lost and found?

Other than that, what is the significance? It's all like a big mystery, feet found!

Posted by: chasmatic at May 8, 2014 1:51 PM

Big Foot doesn't eat feet.

Posted by: Jimmy J. at May 8, 2014 2:33 PM

Time to get our foot soldiers on the case. No more defeetist attitude!

Posted by: Dr Bob at May 8, 2014 3:03 PM

Dr. Bob: you mean put our best foot forward? Kinda like, get off on the right foot. I wonder if all those recovered feet still had twelve inches in 'em. That'd be, er, um, carry the two, yeah that'd be a hunnert and fifty-six inches all together.

Posted by: chasmatic at May 8, 2014 4:17 PM

My pal’s name is Foot Foot (Foot Foot)
He always likes to roam
My pal’s name is Foot Foot (Foot Foot)
I never find him home

I go to his house
Knock at his door
People come out and say
Foot Foot don’t live here no more

My pal Foot Foot (Foot Foot)
Always likes to roam
My pal Foot Foot (Foot Foot)
Now he has no home

Where will Foot Foot go
What will Foot Foot do
Oh, Foot Foot
I wish I could find you

I’ve looked here, I’ve looked there
I’ve looked everywhere
Oh, Foot Foot
Why can’t I find you?

Foot Foot, where can you be?
Foot Foot, why won’t you answer me?
Foot Foot, Oh Foot Foot
Wherever you are
I want you to come home with me

I don’t have time to roam
I have things to do
I have to go home
Oh, Foot Foot, where are you?

If Foot Foot didn’t like to roam so well
He would still have a place to dwell
Foot Foot, please answer me
I know where you are
You’re behind that tree

Foot Foot, please come to me
Foot Foot, now that you’re here
Won’t you come home
Foot Foot, promise me this
That you will never again roam

—The Shaggs

Posted by: Rich Fader at May 8, 2014 4:47 PM

Has anyone appeared at any Lost & Found inquiring about any of the missing parts? Otherwise they might just be surplus.

Posted by: Vermont Woodchuck at May 9, 2014 6:38 AM

I wonder how many feets have been found nationwide in this same time period.

I think a federal task force should be assigned to investigate this outrageous atrocity.

Posted by: ghostsniper at May 9, 2014 6:59 AM

It makes me think that somewhere in the Puget Sound region there is some incompetent hit man who managed to get rid of most of the bodies (cement overcoats), but somehow is neglecting to secure the feet. He (or she) is making some kind of systematic error. Like not realizing that the feet of a dead person can become detached when left in the water (e.g. when the crabs do their thing).

Imagine dining at Ivar's and overhearing someone say, "Does this crab taste funny to you?"

Posted by: Grizzly at May 11, 2014 7:16 PM