The Top 40

Ramco's newest jeans, with our patented Sexual Assault Facilitation System. [It's not just parts. It's a SYSTEM.] Ready to go in a jiffy, or half-a-tick, as they (I don't know exactly whom, but no doubt some of the nibs) say. Just pull the rip cord conveniently located in the gouch area, yell Yeehaaa, and you're ready to go.

And for those with foul and loathsome knees (Hillary Clinton springs, or rather sags, hideously, to mind), try our Transparent Pants. In addition to revealing the full horror of your joint, you can close the cuffs, with our patented Cuff Closure System, fill your pants with fresh water, and slip in a fish or two, to enjoy our new Visible Fish in Your Pants System.

What, after all, is more refreshing than a carp in your shorts?

"Nothing," says Anthony Weiner, as he is led away in tears.

Plastic chafes. That's why we can wear polyester blends for durability and certain purposes, but for comfort we wear cotton or wool or, if we're rich enough, silk.(especially for underwear where you have sensitive bits) Putting plastic at the joints is going to chafe big time Plastic is tougher than skin. Bad fashion design from an engineering comfort point of view having plastic at the knees or anywhere there is friction.

A forgotten 1981 movie saw this coming https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=io53QMwHZ48