The Top 40

If I was Trump I'd open all the windows and doors and let that bitch air out for a full year, then move into the WH in Jan 2018.
In the meantime I'd have everything torn out right down to the plaster and even that would receive a decent sanding.

All furniture - gone.
Sell that shit to the highest bidder.
Left coast LIEbs will get up off'n good coin for that shit.

1) Here's the first oval chair Obammy passed wet gas unto, what am I bid for this fine specimen first set upon by T Jefferson, circa 1798?
2) Next up is a small hassock willed to John Adams in 1809 by his great great granpappy that dragged it over on the Mayflower and that Malia had her first period on, isn't it pretty?
3) And here's the very quill that George himself used to fire up that Whiskey Rebellion to make them big headed citizens who thought this was a free country understand who was boss, which jethro klintin used almost 200 years later to diddle his personal hand maiden, er, intern, and Michelle obliged in her "let's play hide n seek, Barry!, routines.
4) A big assed oval rug, complete with jehtro's jizz stains, georgie's pretzel hurl, and barry's shit stains. 200 years old and still soaking up filth. Come on folks, give it up fer history!

Yep, sand that plaster down at least an 1/8" to get all them afro-sheen stains out, the floors and ceilings too.
Then 9 coats of fine white-white satin of FlexBons finest.

Next up, tear Monticello down and refinish that shit for new hickory flooring throughout the entire domain.

"Melania, MELANIA!, get all your people over here, I want this bitch furnished from top to bottom in a style DC has never seen before!"

Because the entire WH lawn is heavily littered with fried chicken bones, watermelon rinds, grape soda cans, "40" tabs and caps, syringes, and an unbelieveable amount of heavily feces soiled magnum condoms, I'd bring in a fleet of Cat D9's and dig all of it out down to a level of -10.00' and have new shit trucked in from Albuquerque and replanted with all new shit like it was a Trump Tower Dubai.

All WH vehicles - gone.
They'll never get the grease outta that leather.
Plus, you know dam well krak and filed off pistols are stashed everywhere in them.
I want 1000 gold plated vehicles with all options with complete lifetime warranties and 8 years of full maintenance, no questions asked.

Finally, I want a full rack of Franklin Mint engraved full auto M16's installed in every goddam room in the building, fully loaded of course, just because.

That might be worth reupping my cable subcription.

My eldest, who is stationed in DC after serving in various locations in the world, may be called to serve as an Inaugural Usher. I might see her on the infernal TV. I'll be sure to crow.

I heard they're having trouble cleaning Michelle's back hair out of the drains.

Run a scan for hidden microphones, replace all the computer equipment, go over every square inch of the property, especially the new additions, for signs of intelligence and/or security compromise.

Call in an exorcist!

Ghost you are killing me! Naughty.

Also, wasn't there some sort of new bunker built on Barry's watch? Better check that thing out.

Trumps moving out of mega bucks condo into govt housing. Forcing former habitants into rental home