Barack Hussein Obama vs. Theodore Terbolizard?

Now that weird names are part of the pitch for "electability" is seems only fair that the Republicans set off a counter-barrage against the Democrats.

Enter: Theodore Terbolizard!

Now you might think that the name "Turbolizard" would count against this upstanding American. You might think that, but then you probably thought some character named Hussain would never get three votes outside of that downtown Falafal stand on the sidewalk, right? Right.

Let's face it. America is the place where you can not only overcome your DNA and your psychological problems, you can get elected to lead because of them!

This does not mean the road has been easy for Barack Hussain Obama. After all, he's had to deal with what he thinks the rest of the world thinks of him. He's had to suffer a Harvard education in the past, and telling his wife to put a sock in it for the moment. Add to that the chaffing fact that it is not always possible to find a laundry to put in just the right amount of starch in his shirts while on the campaign trail and you have the suffering of the dispossessed minorities of America in a, well, nutshell.

Things are not going smoothly for Turbolizard either....

Terbolizard has been distracted by a driving-under-the-influence charge, which he is now trying to turn to his advantage. He said the February citation in Grass Valley was based on fabricated evidence and may have been aimed at derailing his political career.

"If it's this easy to get rid of political candidates, we might just as well live in Estonia," said Terbolizard, 40, who said he lives in an abandoned building on an old horse farm.

Terbolizard changed his last name from Hommel many years ago for reasons having something to do with his daughter, now 11, and the girl's mother, who lives in San Francisco. He said people find it kind of catchy.

Terbolizard describes himself as a libertarian-leaning extreme fiscal conservative.

"I'm against government spending. Period," he said. He said he wants to ax the Internal Revenue Service and reduce the size of government commensurate with the loss of income taxes the IRS collects.

Terbolizard also doesn't trust banks, which he explained in the context of that box containing more than $10,000 in cash police found in his car on the night of the alleged driving-under-the-influence incident. That was his life savings to support himself during the campaign, he said. "I am really efficient at living," he said. -- Politics - Candidates bring different take in race for Doolittle's seat

I have family living in Grass Valley, CA, and I know from long experience that the outstanding outdoor and indoor gardening skills of many of the residents of that back country can often result in large amounts of cash sloshing around on the floors of automobiles. It's all part of the efficient living lifestyles of the region.

And that's why I think that the DUI is a set-up.

Go, Turbolizard!

Who else speaks for the Rough & Ready Fruit Jar Pickers?

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Posted by Vanderleun at April 6, 2008 11:06 AM | TrackBack
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