≡ Menu

You Thought You Were Free- Allowed in California

Slowly, slowly, it begins to dawn on many that we have not been watering the Tree of Liberty with the blood of traitors often enough. This week Leader Gavin of the People’s Republic of LosAngeles/SanFrancisco/Sacramento/California told all of his enslaved peoples just what they could and could not do regardless of age, color, creed, national origin, or assinine pronoun.

Here’s the list (emphasis added to enhance your outrage):

California releases detailed list of outdoor activities allowed during shutdown – SFGate

All of these activities are allowed as long as they’re done only with members of your household and if you maintain a distance of six feet from others.

— Athletics (Really? Care to be a tad more specific)
— Badminton (singles)[Do you have to vet the opponents before playing for cooties? Really? What if you want to have a singles tournament?]
— Throwing a baseball or softball (Excuse me but isn’t one throwing a animal-skin covered object much of the time in many ball centered sports how the games are played. Sweat on the hands of one gets to the ball which is then passed to another?)
— BMX biking (BMX? Is your freedom to bike dependent on the fattness of your tires?)
— Canoeing (singles) (But…. but…. there are plenty of canoes that have built in social distancing in the seats alone.)
— Crabbing (Soon to be discovered… crabs can transmit some unknown but deadly Covid mutation.Beware!)
— Cycling (So is any tire width ok after all?)

— Exploring rock pools (But you don’t get to cross a  closed beach to get to the rock pools. How about we just explore some politicians’ heads with rocks… at the appropriate social distance of course.)
— Gardening (not in groups) (Heaven there should be gardening orgies involving olive oil and rich compost.)
— Golf (singles, walking – no cart) (Oh so those golfers who are too old or otherwise disabled are forbidden to play golf? Didn’t pro golf have a big argument about the carts and the disabled a few years back?)
— Hiking (on trails and paths allowing distancing) (Beware of Karen’s with a six foot measuring stick at the entrace to all trails and paths)
— Horseback riding (singles) (“A fiery horse with the speed of light
A cloud of dust and a hearty hi-o silver The Lone Covid Ranger”)
— Jogging and running (But not running from the Meal Team 6 Fat cops when they come in SWAT trucks to arrest you. Just submit like a good little slave would.)
— Meditation  ( Oh thank you wonderful wise rulers in Fortress Sacramento for granting us the use of our own inner thoughts.)
— Outdoor photography ( Nude? Haven’t noticed indoor porn production has dropped off in the last six weeks. If anything the traffic to Pornhub has probably gone, dare I say it?, through the roof.)
— Picnics (with your stay-home household members only)– plus you’d best all get your own solitary bench and table in the picnic grounds and communicate with — how else –via texting.
— Quad Biking  ( Is “quad biking” a thing? Is it biking for quadriplegics? I have no idea what this is at all.)
— Rock Climbing (Don’t slip because catching you or holding you on a safety rope is forbidden.)
— Roller Skating and Roller Blading (But no hot babes doing roller derby? Forget it.)
— Rowing (singles) (Just out all alone in your boat heading for the falls.)
— Scootering (not in groups) (Yep, groups — how do you mean groups? 3,4, 5, 6 ad infinitum?)
— Skateboarding (not in groups) (Ditto above. Remember the skate boarding park California filled with bulldozed sand? It was dug out in a day by skateboarders.)
— Soft martial arts – Tai Chi, Chi Kung (not in groups) (The use of the word “soft” in front of “Martial — war fighting hand techniques — art” is deeply unclued and beclowned.)
— Table tennis (singles) (But what? You can’t touch the ping pong ball? That game would need A LOT of freshly sanitized balls.)
— Throw and catch an American mini football, Frisbee or Frisbee golf (not in groups) (Again, you are handling objects that can carry a virus no matter how “socially distant” the players are. You might as well just swap sweat in a Rugby scrum.)
— Trail running  (Don’t let no COVID catch you outdoors. Feets,do your stuff!)
— Trampolining (OK, that’s one thing you can do. If you can do it at all. No spotters.)
— Tree climbing (And don’t come down until this is all over.)
— Volleyball (singles) (If it’s not going to be women’s bikini beach volleyball you can have it.)
— Walk the dog (Dogs all approve. Humans less so if they have to carry around a sanitized bag of sanitized dog shit.)
— Wash the car (Wash, wax, detail the dickens out it you still have no place to drive to.)
— Watch the sunrise or sunset (Oh thank you KIND MASTERS OF THE SLAVE RACE for telling us we can look at the passing of the days.)
— Yoga (Hoping the governor and all his minions learn and perform the “Dead dog” posture for real. And soon too.)

You’ve got your list of PERMITTED ACTIVITIES. Now go on out and do them like a good little slave.


Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Lance de Boyle May 9, 2020, 2:09 PM

    Hey, what about pogo sticks?
    “Pogo sticking is permitted on beaches only. One person per stick unless conjoined twins.” [California Commission on Things with Sticks]
    “Clown shoes may be worn but only by one clown at a time.” [California High Commission on Footwear.]
    “Wearing and displaying of clown noses is hereby prohibited as this practice is a clear sign of rebellion against and disrespect towards the Covid Commissariat. First nasal infraction: a warning slap in the face with balloon on a stick. Second infraction: two squirts selzter down pants. Third infraction. Powder puff abaft the mazzard.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=POH8xAsuNr4
    “Sexual intercourse is permitted only if the merrymakers maintain a distance of at least six feet.” [California Commission of Dildos on a Stick.]
    “There will be no shaving of underarm or leg hair until further notice.” [California Board of Fuzz].
    “Tampon wearers must have a multi-colored draw string at least 6 feet long dangling down from their Regions of Joy. The string must have a sign on the end, dragging on the ground, that reads, ‘Unclean. Unclean.’ At the end of the ‘period, the sign will be changed to read, “Now open for business.”
    Wife has ordered me to clean the car. I must go.

  • ghostsniper May 9, 2020, 2:18 PM

    1/2 the people in this country are against you.
    The problem is, you don’t know who they are.
    Further, they, the 1/2, can’t harm you directly.
    They, the 1/2, simply lend credence to those that WILL harm you.
    Who WILL harm you?
    The 1% that hold office.
    THEY, the 1%, that are making the rules.
    You know who these 1% are, right?
    If you don’t know, you should find out.
    I’m talking about the lowest 1% of the 1%.
    The small time local tyrants.
    The city council.
    The county commissioners.
    The law enforcement.
    The justice officials.
    That 1% of the 1% agrees withand does the bidding of the 99% higher ups and the rules they make, and they add their input as well.
    Learn who that 1% of the 1% are, learn everything about them.
    Who they are, what they do, where they live, who their family members are.
    Soon, you maybe required to know this information.
    Soon, it may be of benefit to you to know this stuff.
    Soon, you may wish you had learned this stuff when it was readily available, but is no longer.

  • ghostsniper May 9, 2020, 2:26 PM

    Right now, at 5:20pm EST, the top headlines at Google News:

    Obama says White House response to coronavirus has been ‘absolute chaotic disaster’

    Obama says coronavirus response has been a ‘chaotic disaster,’ blames ‘selfish’ mindset
    Fox News

    Coronavirus: Obama calls US response ‘chaotic disaster’
    BBC News

    ‘Chaotic disaster’: Obama hits Trump’s coronavirus response, warns of disinformation ahead of election
    NBC News

    How can anyone claim there is NO media collusion?
    The worst “Chaotic Disaster” in this country is the Lying Assed Media.
    Everyone working there should be arrested, jailed, loss of all assets, publicly beaten, banished to Antarctica with no supplies or support.

  • Lance de Boyle May 9, 2020, 2:58 PM

    Hey, what about pogo sticks?
    “Pogo sticking is permitted on beaches only. One person per stick unless conjoined twins.” [California Commission on Things with Sticks]
    “Clown shoes may be worn but only by one clown at a time.” [California High Commission on Footwear.]
    “Wearing and displaying of clown noses is hereby prohibited as this practice is a clear sign of rebellion against and disrespect towards the Covid Commissariat. First nasal infraction: a warning slap in the face with balloon. Second infraction: two squirts selzter down pants. Third infraction. Powder puff abaft the mazzard.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=POH8xAsuNr4

    “There will be no shaving of underarm or leg hair until further notice.” [California Board of Fuzz].
    “Zoot suits are strictly prohibited, as are the phrases, Hi De Hi De Ho, Hat cha cha, The cat’s pajamas, and Your Mudder’s mustache.

  • Lance de Boyle May 9, 2020, 3:03 PM

    One wonders just what Obama would have done. Dithered for six months. Lots of speeches. And then…?

  • Lance de Boyle May 9, 2020, 3:05 PM

    “Pogo sticking is permitted on beaches only. One person per poge unless conjoined twins.” [California Commission on Things with Sticks]
    “Clown shoes may be worn on only one foot.” [California High Commission on Footwear.]
    “Wearing and displaying clown noses is hereby prohibited as a clear sign of rebellion against and disrespect towards the Covid Commissariat. First nasal infraction: a warning slap in the face with balloon. Second infraction: two squirts selzter down pants. Third infraction. Powder puff face strike.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=POH8xAsuNr4

    “No shaving of underarm or leg hair until further notice.” [California Board of Fuzz].

    “Zoot suits are strictly prohibited, as are the phrases, Hi De Hi De Ho, Hat cha cha, The cat’s pajamas, and Your Mudder’s mustache.

  • andre May 9, 2020, 3:29 PM

    If Obama had been president there never would have been a covid crisis. They could have gotten what they wanted without this monumental pandemic scare. The immunizations still might have come to protect the public, and then they might be compulsory, but there would always be reasons for that, that could be enforced. It would just be Newsom on a bigger, more anonymous basis. I heard yesterday of a Spanish church that was fined $2000 for having a service. What does a church do? Go underground. that is where the church is in California. A group of pastors are going to have services at the end of the month. Let’s see what happens. Small churches cannot afford $2000/hit.

  • Kevin in PA May 9, 2020, 4:39 PM

    In Jefferson’s letter to Madison, speaking of the replenishment of the Tree of Liberty, he said this should likely occur about every twenty years or so.

    I’d say we are long overdue.

    Oh, and Lance, Re; Obama, “and then…?” — He would have played a round or two of golf.

  • jwm May 9, 2020, 5:42 PM

    The report from So Cal:

    We said, “fuck it”, and held the So Cal RatRod Ride today. All I posted on Facebarf was our club logo, the date, and “WE RIDE”. We had about forty people from eight different bicycle gangs answer the call. The bike path was open. Most of the restrooms were locked. All the parking lots were closed. All the grassy areas along the beach, and bike path were fenced off because covid19.

    Nonetheless the beach was surprisingly full. Lots of guys out surfing. Neither the cops, nor the park rangers were rousting anyone out for spreading a towel in the sand.

    We got a call right before rolling out that there would be big protests at the pier at noon. And we reached the pier are just as they were kicking off. Hundreds were on the pier plaza. American flags, Gadsden flags, “Fuck Newsom signs, “Q” signs, WWG1/WGA, Anti Fauci, pro constitution, Hate for the lying media, support for Trump.

    We rode right down Main Street into the midst of it.

    All in all the police were friendly, they weren’t busting anyone the we could see. I might infer that, as individuals, they were none too happy about being on this kind of duty. They were pretty laid back as far as I could see. We found a spot in town a little off the main drag where we got take out food, and sat at outdoor tables. The cops were parked right across the street, they didn’t hassle anyone for open containers, riding through stop signs, or smoking.

    Main Street was jammed with Saturday afternoon cruising. Tons of classic cars, bikers, ricos showing off their exotic machines, McLarens, Lambos, and the like. Most cars had protest signs and American flags.

    It leaves me with mixed feelings: rage that everything was strangled as much as it was. Rage that that mewling puke Newsom condescends to the people with his shitty little list of what activities he approves, utter disbelief at the numbers of sheep walking around with their stupid fucking masks.
    But I can take some hope from the sheer number of folks who were out there to raise some hell.
    We shall see how this plays out in coming weeks.

    Mary just got home with dinner. I’m starving. Be well, my friends.


  • ghostsniper May 9, 2020, 6:01 PM

    John, I must thank you. A few months ago you posted a link to a video of your “gang” out riding bikes, well I captured that vid because there was a song playing in the background that intrigued me. I summoned my board members and between them I was told that the song was by Megadeth and the title was “A Tout Le Monde” and from there the race was on. I liked the song, even though I was never a big fan of Megadeth, and learned everything about it and started working it out on the guitars and other devices. I figured out all the guitar parts and had my son in FL ship the bass rig to me that I had given him 2 years ago, and figured out the bass line too. If I hadn’t gotten rid of my drum rig a few years ago I would have mounted that aspect as well. Marty Friedman, the lead guitar player in MD is known for instilling sweep picking and monster arpeggios and those have always been difficult for me but now they are a little less arduous. It’s been a tremendous workout for the past few months but glad to have had the opportunity to deal with it. So I thank you again.

  • Terry May 9, 2020, 6:18 PM

    John, please keep us posted on SoCal. I have always admired the free thinkers in the south part of Kali.

  • John Coggeshall May 9, 2020, 7:12 PM

    Three years ago, I bought a hat—I don’t wear hats much—this one said “I am a Veteran—My Oath of Enlistment Has No Expiration Date”—I didn’t think I would be called up this soon.

  • Vanderleun May 9, 2020, 8:11 PM

    One is always called.

    Was this in Laguna, JWM?

  • Ck May 9, 2020, 11:33 PM

    Ample opportunity to kill him. Just need the balls. You already have the constitutional authority.

  • Gordon Scott May 10, 2020, 5:25 AM

    Yesterday morning I pulled into a Target parking lot in a 3rd ring suburb. At the far end of the parking lot there were about 100 people standing around in small groups, talking. Around them were sports cars, ranging from very new to classic. At some point they all got in cars, and got in line, and left, heading I don’t know where. But they were going together.

    And not a mask in the bunch.

  • Tom Hyland May 10, 2020, 6:03 AM

    I posted a link to this article I found at the Burning Platform a couple of days ago. For some it didn’t open due to technical difficulties. Forgive me for pasting the whole thing below but I only want you to read something that is really empowering, funny and true… and entirely fits in with the sentiments expressed above. It’s titled “The Pandemic Hoax is Over.” Written by “Southern Sage.”

    The pandemic hoax is over. This is not and never was a “pandemic.” A pandemic is a disease that kills – repeat, kills – million of otherwise healthy adults and children, as in the Spanish Flu, the Black Death or the Plague of Justinian. Corona virus (Covid-19) is a serious public health threat in the same way many other diseases have been, from AIDS to Swine Flu, Hong Kong flu, and so one. Thanks to nincompoops (or corrupt evil bastards) like Fauci , Gates and Ferguson, our political leaders were panicked into adopting unnecessary and arguably counter-productive tactics that have wrecked our economy and likely saved hardly anybody.
    If New York is any indication, ignorant government intervention cost thousands of lives. A targeted approach concentrating on public transport, large crowd events and the vulnerable (hospitals, nursing homes, people already suffering from serious health programs) would have cost a fraction of what was spent and would have been far more effective.

    Washing your hands, avoiding crowds, insisting on proper cleaning of airplanes and subways, wearing a mask or, better, staying inside if you are sick or vulnerable, were the proper responses. Destroying the economy was not.
    The silly behavior of many (not all) health care professionals has exposed them as nothing more than self-centered white trash. I will not even go into the “doctors” dancing TicTok with brainless nurses and having the gall to put it on the Internet. Ditto for the dirtbags in scrubs trying to keep free Americans from getting on with their lives. They deserve to be run over or have the crap beaten out of them.

    If you are a healthy person not creaking with old age and you are still running around with a mask and gloves, or ratting out your more intelligent neighbors who do not buy into this farce, you are a shameless moron.
    I am fortunate that my state, Florida, acted with a degree of restraint and common sense. With temps in the 90’s, this bug will all but disappear in the next couple of weeks. All of you hipsters in New York and California predicting mass death because Floridians are taking walks on the beach? Fuck you. Nothing at all will happen here.
    The crazed black judge in Dallas who sent a lovely white woman to jail for a week for not groveling to his greasy ass should be removed from his courtroom by the Texas Rangers. If Governor Abbott had a hair on his ass that is exactly what would happen.
    We can be grateful for a couple of things. First, this comedy has exposed the totalitarian bent of many of our elected and un-elected officials, mainly but not all Democrats. Remember them well. I would also like to tell our law enforcement officers who have participated in the illegal suppression of our civil rights, we will remember you, too. You have foolishly squandered the support of the American middle class. Go to the ‘hood the next time you want a donation for the Police Benevolent Association and see what you get.
    Best of all, more and more Americans are realizing the great danger of tolerating the “Karen’s” in our midst. These mostly white, middle class, buttinski dingbats have to be confronted. I don’t believe in hitting women, but there is no problem with getting in their faces and watch while they pee in their panties. They won’t stop until YOU stop them.
    Well, OK. Off to the beach, then in for a couple of dozen oysters and some beer. God help the asshole who tells me to wear a mask.

  • jwm May 10, 2020, 7:25 AM

    @ Gerard:
    Huntington Beach.


  • CC May 10, 2020, 10:49 AM

    “And how we burned in the camps later, thinking: What would things have been like if every Security operative, when he went out at night to make an arrest, had been uncertain whether he would return alive and had to say good-bye to his family? Or if, during periods of mass arrests, as for example in Leningrad, when they arrested a quarter of the entire city, people had not simply sat there in their lairs, paling with terror at every bang of the downstairs door and at every step on the staircase, but had understood they had nothing left to lose and had boldly set up in the downstairs hall an ambush of half a dozen people with axes, hammers, pokers, or whatever else was at hand?… The Organs would very quickly have suffered a shortage of officers and transport and, notwithstanding all of Stalin’s thirst, the cursed machine would have ground to a halt! If…if…We didn’t love freedom enough. And even more – we had no awareness of the real situation…. We purely and simply deserved everything that happened afterward.”

    ― Aleksandr I. Solzhenitsyn

  • James ONeil May 10, 2020, 10:52 AM

    Up here on top of the world, Alaska, not unexpectedly, overreacted, barbers, beauticians and bars closed, banks; walk up to the drive through window to do business, local community center converted to an, unused, field hospital.

    Travel to and from many remote, off road, villages is severely restricted by the villagers themselves. I’m not faulting them, the 1918 Spanish influenza wiped out entire villages.

    I gotta admit though, the China virus, winnie the flu, has had little, if any effect on my life style. I go to town as seldom as possible, just like I did before. Safeway, for a while had one way arrows on the floor of the aisles. I know ’cause I noticed them just as I was leaving, I had been going through the aisles any way I wanted to, just like the rest of the customers. Haven’t been chided by nor even seen nor heard any Karens on my trips to town although our local Karens are quite vocal in the internet & the paper’s letters to the editor.

    I’ve missed one or two social functions, curtailed by the panic, but overall the whole fiasco has little effect on my life.

    I do expect some problems, as most folks reading this understand, the effects resulting from the cure are going to be far worse than the disease and, here on top of the world, I’m at the very end of a long supply line. Hence I’m stocking up on staples and will fall, buck and stack a few extra cords of firewood this summer. I’ll also be making a trip down to Prince William Sound to work on some island property I bought & bring back some seafood, salmon, halibut, shrimp, etc.

    Last couple of weeks, I spent a fair amount of time with my teen aged granddaughter, teaching her to shoot a couple of hundred rounds through her Little Badger .22. We’ll probably go rabbit hunting next week.

    Now I better head downstairs and rack some wine and mead I’ve been brewing. As I’ve said, just another day pretty much the same as most days irregardless of the latest and best manufactured crisis.

  • mmack May 10, 2020, 12:16 PM

    — Roller Skating and Roller Blading (But no hot babes doing roller derby? Forget it.)

    Hey Gerard my good man, I really hate to burst your bubble on the Roller Derby Girlz, but, well, here’s what I posted about meeting a roller derby team at a match after party in a local brewery at Unz.com:

    “Oh yes, my Mrs. and I found that out this year. The local roller derby squad plays their meets at the same sports complex our city’s amateur hockey team plays at. One evening this past winter we saw a hockey game the same night a roller derby match was being played in another part of the sports complex. After the hockey game we went to a nearby brewery not knowing it was hosting an after party for the roller derby gals. When the two teams showed up at the brewery it took lil old me, who isn’t always quick on the draw, all of five minutes to determine 98% of these girls are lesbians. Of course if the girls flirting, hugging, and kissing each other wasn’t a tip off, the big gal in the furry costume wearing a hat with QUEEN DYKE embroidered in sequins would have confirmed it. I truly felt bad for the one dude who was trying to pick up some of the cuter girls. It just wasn’t going to happen. Later in the evening some girls did ask me to join a conga line for the song Girls Just Wanna Have Fun (they sent the shortest, most tattooed girl to ask me). I’ll admit, I joined the line. My wife did not, but had fun laughing at me.

    When we got back home I Binged the team webpage. Yeah, lots of rainbow and Pride emblems.”

    Sometimes sadly, reality does not meet our hopes. YMMV.

  • jwm May 10, 2020, 12:53 PM

    Final comment on yesterday at HB. I just checked what the propaganda networks had to say about yesterday. Predictably, the first things most mentioned were “covid-19, not wearing masks, not social distancing.” I am beginning to so despise the term “social distancing”. My contempt for the masked sheep is growing exponentially. And it’s the goddamn Chinese virus, assholes. If someone tries to chide me for not wearing a mask or not distancing I may just haul off and punch them.


  • Gordon Scott May 10, 2020, 2:17 PM

    Back in the day when I played rugby for the NDSU Thundering Herd, there were also women’s rugby teams. There may have been some lesbians in the bunch, but one couldn’t tell at the bar after the tournament. These gals may have been fairly tough, but they were very hetero and anxious to prove it.

    One gal from the University of Manitoba was sitting across from me. I had on a tie. She grabbed it, and said, “Mind if I blow my nose?”

    She happened to be wearing a cloth cap like you used to see newsboys wear. I reached over, grabbed it, and said, “Mind if I wipe my ass?” For once, I had the perfect comeback line, and delivered it. Later she tried to get me to come to their hotel.

    I knew one gal on our local roller derby crew. She was a genuine dick-whacked transsexual. She was taller, stronger, and faster than the other girls but they didn’t mind, much.

  • Vanderleun May 10, 2020, 3:51 PM

    WELL yeah mmack I know that which of you speak but not all who are lez play exclusively for that side and besides the chance of a rollerpowered CATFIGHT is always present.

  • Gordon Scott May 10, 2020, 6:40 PM

    I got to thinking about lesbians in women’s sports. I know that when Chrissy Evert was on the world tour as a 14-year old, she had a bodyguard with her in the locker room to protect her from the aggressive lesbians. Nancy Lopez, who turned pro in the LPGA in her teens, married her trainer to protect herself.

    My former sister-in-law coached college volleyball in the 1980s. When she would be visiting potential recruits in their homes, talking to the parents, she’d bring my brother along, who might get a side conversation going with, “You know, it’s important to have your girl in a straight program….”

    Now I’ve watched some college and pro women’s basketball. It’s not as obvious there, since the gals have to either lash down the hair or cut it short, but there are a lot of gals who play with tight braids. In college softball, one can tell easily, because the straight girls will have a long ponytail.

    One of the gals who played for the Minnesota Lynx WNBA team complained about how pervasive the sexual harassment was in the league–for straight girls. Attending a Lynx game at Target Center will expose one to the glorious mosaic of lesbian couples that live here, because it seems that 1/4 of the fans are junior high girls, half are lesbians and the rest parents and a few men.

    I also noticed, looking at some pictures from the college softball championships, that women’s softball players are overwhelmingly white. It’s not 100 percent, but at least nine out of ten are. I can guess at the reasons.

  • BonafideView May 10, 2020, 7:07 PM

    ..it’s my party and I’ll catch if I want to
    you would catch too if it happened to you…
    The pompous presumption of those who have decided they are the ones who deem it so have allowed us to “Throw a baseball or softball”. Most people don’t just throw a baseball. We play catch. Playing catch is a beautiful exchange. One of life’s simple pleasures.
    Perhaps there is a rebel in the bureaucratic forces that left catching off on purpose.
    If we only throw we may become more expert in hitting our targets.

  • PA Cat May 10, 2020, 11:03 PM

    The pompous presumption of those who have decided they are the ones who deem it so have allowed us to “Throw a baseball or softball”.

    Those pompous jerks should stand in the path of an MLB outfielder capable of throwing a baseball at speeds between 90 and 102 mph, and throwing it accurately to a teammate:

    Yeah, I miss baseball. Who ever thought that wintertime Baseball Deprivation Syndrome would resurface in May?

Next post:

Previous post: