At first, everything seems normal when you pick up this iconic issue at the magazine stand. Then you notice this “warning presented as a thrilling benefit”
….. and you begin to suspect that, like ESPN, Sports Illustrated has been cucked.
SJW convergence refers to the process whereby “social justice warrior” activists infiltrate a primarily American organization, with the end-result being a repurposed shell referred to as a skin suit. The purpose of the skin suit is then expanded to encompass the socialist agenda while simultaneously being stripped of its assets through inflated salaries to leftist employees and donations to “progressive” causes. Differing from a front group with goals set at creation, a successfully-“converged” skin suit previously had other objectives, such as producing a good or service, objectives it continues to accomplish (though invariably in a dwindling capacity as parasitism progresses).
On Monopediamania: There were fads in Penthouse Letters about three/four/five-somes. There were fads in letters about bondage and discipline and new saddles for pony girls. There was a very memorable fad for letters about “monopediamania,” a term we coined for the strange attraction that growing numbers of readers/correspondents, even those in the prisons, claimed they had for women who were missing one or more limbs. Yes, it was grisly. Yes it was distasteful. Yes it sold magazines. And so we just tossed all the letters into the tiny office inhabited by the newest and most junior editor and let her wade through them all and pull out the choicest, wettest, and most fetid giblets of prose for subsequent publication.
And flipping through the issue, IT BEGINS…
And (Just in case you haven’t “gotten the message and gotten woke from swimsuit models”) they include the aptly named “Ebonee Davis” with a message.
Anyone ever hear the phrase “Screw up a wet dream”?
RichardMarch 14, 2018, 12:14 PM
Just not enough pretty there to compensate for the potential latent insanity waiting to get out. Few commodities have a shorter shelf-life than beauty. The crazy is forever.
RuckMarch 14, 2018, 12:51 PM
Holy cow! Literally. SI must be run by the government of CA now. That’s just sad
Howard NelsonMarch 14, 2018, 1:20 PM
In a swimsuit issue, why on the cover is the publisher promoting wigs that need to be held in place?
And will the Leftist political police complain that the model’s left-side profile is not displayed? Or is the left side shown on the inside front cover?
scoryMarch 14, 2018, 1:44 PM
The poses are appropriate for soft core porn sites. Not in the least attractive though I suppose teenage boys might get a hormonal surge out of it. I guess we are supposed to now consider gross obesity and what appears to be a case of anorexia as examples of “beauty” rather than indications of poor mental and/or physical health. I can only imagine what the one with the oversized sandy ass will look like when she hits 30.
ghostsniperMarch 14, 2018, 1:50 PM
Never made a red centavo off’n my ass and after scanning that lurid display I can say they never will.
Why is more and more stuff looking like the bottom of the gutter?
I used to think that someone on the staff wrote the “Letters To Penthouse”. Then the Internet was invented. I lost my illusions, and knew that there were many many many people willing to expose their grubby little kinks to the rest of the world. The letters were real. Plain vanilla, compared to today’s environment, but real.
Gerard, what’s the stupidest question you get asked about working for Penthouse magazine?
VanderleunMarch 14, 2018, 5:00 PM
It was always the same one, “Are the letters real?”
To which the answer from Penthouse Magazine editors always was, “Yes the letters are real to the extent that they are all delivered to the magazine by the mail man. If they actually refer to real sexual exploits, who knows?”
Peak Swimsuit, if you ask me, was 1999: this was the first year they had body paint, so we hadn’t had time to become jaded, and there was the first example of a swimsuit model not actually wearing a swimsuit, even one painted on. Instead, Rebecca Romijn stood up naked, one arm across her breasts, and the swimsuit being “modeled” was hanging from a nearby clothesline. No way they could follow that up, and they didn’t even try.
vladdyMarch 14, 2018, 7:56 PM
Some day, some women are going to be very red-faced when they think back about their poses — yes, soft porn and adolescent do come to mind.
Just thankful they haven’t gone full LGBT, and I was paging through the 30 ready to jump my eyes outta there!
It may get worse, before it gets better.
bob sykesMarch 15, 2018, 4:46 AM
It would be pornographic if so many of the models were not so down right ugly. What a disaster!
pbirdMarch 15, 2018, 10:19 AM
As the mother of three women, I will say that what God gave them is very pretty, but I hate to see anyone’s girls in those cheesy poses.
ChrisMarch 19, 2018, 2:44 PM
Sorry, if you don’t find Jasmyn Wilkins or Kate Upton attractive, you really need to get your t-level checked. They aren’t doing anything the SI girls haven’t been doing since I was a teenager 30 years ago. Yeah there are fat chicks, anorexics, and cripples in the mix now, but that’s just to keep word of mouth going. Really, with all the free porn available online, this stuff is damn near pollyannish.
Real World Address for Donations, Mash Notes and Hate Mail
Gerard Van der Leun
1692 MANGROVE AVE
APT 379
Chico, Ca 95926
Green Pants Interior by Klahn
Who Am I? by Carl Sandburg
My head knocks against the stars.
My feet are on the hilltops.
My finger-tips are in the valleys and shores of universal life.
Down in the sounding foam of primal things I reach my hands and play with pebbles of destiny.
I have been to hell and back many times.
I know all about heaven, for I have talked with God.
I dabble in the blood and guts of the terrible.
I know the passionate seizure of beauty
And the marvelous rebellion of man at all signs reading “Keep Off.”
My name is Truth and I am the most elusive captive in the universe.
Duty, Beauty, Liberty, Country, Honor, Family, Faith — Plus a few simple easy to follow rules for guys
Men saw the stars at the edge of the sea
They thought great thoughts about liberty
Poets wrote down words that did fit
Writers wrote books
Thinkers thought about it
Take it where you find it
Can’t leave it alone
You will find a purpose
To carry it on
Mainly when you find it
Your heart will be strong
About it
Many’s the road I have walked upon
Many’s the hour between dusk and dawn
Many’s the time
Many’s the mile
I see it all now
Through the eyes of a child
Take it where you find it
Can’t leave it alone
You will find a purpose
To carry it on
Mainly when you find it
Your heart will be strong
About it
[Chorus]
Lost dreams and found dreams
In America
In America
In America
Lost dreams and found dreams
In America
In America
In America
And close your eyes
Leave it all for a while
Leave the world
And your worries behind
You will build on whatever is real
And wake up each day
To a new waking dream
Take it where you find it
Can’t leave it alone
You will find a purpose
To carry it on
Mainly when you find it
Your heart will be strong
About it
[Chorus]
Change, change come over
Change come over
Talkin’ about a change
Change, change
Change come over, now
Change, change, change come over
I’m gonna walk down the street
Until I see
My shining light
I’m gonna walk down the street
Until I see
My shining light
I’m gonna walk down the street
Until I see
My shining light
I’m gonna walk down the street
Until I see
My shining light
I see my light
See my light
See my shining light
I see my light
See my light
See my shining light
Gerard Van der Leun
Comments on this entry are closed.
Anyone ever hear the phrase “Screw up a wet dream”?
Just not enough pretty there to compensate for the potential latent insanity waiting to get out. Few commodities have a shorter shelf-life than beauty. The crazy is forever.
Holy cow! Literally. SI must be run by the government of CA now. That’s just sad
In a swimsuit issue, why on the cover is the publisher promoting wigs that need to be held in place?
And will the Leftist political police complain that the model’s left-side profile is not displayed? Or is the left side shown on the inside front cover?
The poses are appropriate for soft core porn sites. Not in the least attractive though I suppose teenage boys might get a hormonal surge out of it. I guess we are supposed to now consider gross obesity and what appears to be a case of anorexia as examples of “beauty” rather than indications of poor mental and/or physical health. I can only imagine what the one with the oversized sandy ass will look like when she hits 30.
Never made a red centavo off’n my ass and after scanning that lurid display I can say they never will.
Why is more and more stuff looking like the bottom of the gutter?
I used to think that someone on the staff wrote the “Letters To Penthouse”. Then the Internet was invented. I lost my illusions, and knew that there were many many many people willing to expose their grubby little kinks to the rest of the world. The letters were real. Plain vanilla, compared to today’s environment, but real.
Gerard, what’s the stupidest question you get asked about working for Penthouse magazine?
It was always the same one, “Are the letters real?”
To which the answer from Penthouse Magazine editors always was, “Yes the letters are real to the extent that they are all delivered to the magazine by the mail man. If they actually refer to real sexual exploits, who knows?”
Peak Swimsuit, if you ask me, was 1999: this was the first year they had body paint, so we hadn’t had time to become jaded, and there was the first example of a swimsuit model not actually wearing a swimsuit, even one painted on. Instead, Rebecca Romijn stood up naked, one arm across her breasts, and the swimsuit being “modeled” was hanging from a nearby clothesline. No way they could follow that up, and they didn’t even try.
Some day, some women are going to be very red-faced when they think back about their poses — yes, soft porn and adolescent do come to mind.
Just thankful they haven’t gone full LGBT, and I was paging through the 30 ready to jump my eyes outta there!
It may get worse, before it gets better.
It would be pornographic if so many of the models were not so down right ugly. What a disaster!
As the mother of three women, I will say that what God gave them is very pretty, but I hate to see anyone’s girls in those cheesy poses.
Sorry, if you don’t find Jasmyn Wilkins or Kate Upton attractive, you really need to get your t-level checked. They aren’t doing anything the SI girls haven’t been doing since I was a teenager 30 years ago. Yeah there are fat chicks, anorexics, and cripples in the mix now, but that’s just to keep word of mouth going. Really, with all the free porn available online, this stuff is damn near pollyannish.