WHEN in the course of human Events, it becomes necessary….
WOKEY DICK: New Diversity version of literary classic
byVanderleunonFebruary 14, 2020
SHOT:
Barnes And Noble Scraps Diverse Editions After BacklashA publishing initiative to celebrate Black History Month by putting cartoon black and brown protagonists on the covers of classics novels written by white people — including The Secret Garden, Moby Dick and Alice in Wonderland — has been scrapped after backlash that called it literary blackface.
Responding to criticism that its initial diversity version of Moby Dick was merely a “fish tale in blackface”, Barnes and Noble vowed to radically restructure Melville’s ponderoous tome
Too begin with, the whale will no longer be a neutral symbol of unstoppable, remorseless nature. Rather, it will be recast as a sort of immense guardian whale shepherd who protects the more vulnerable members of the “oppressed cetacean community” from the “genocidal depredations of a heartless, hypocritical Christo-fascist patriarchy who would despoil the Earth itself in its hysterical racist fear of ….. The Darkness.”
As such, the captain of the vessel will retain many of Ahab’s characteristics, but he will be motivated more by a need to sublimate his fears of latent homosexuality necessitated by living in a patriarchal, hetero-fascist time. It was decided to go in this direction rather than make him a gay man named Gayhab. After all, you don’t want a gay man as criminal
As for the “whiteness of the whale” this was deemed exclusionary of “Cetaceans of Color”; not to mention non-validating of inner city “readers of color” who were eager to delve into cryptic, unreadable 19th century maritime literature. Accordingly, a black whale character has been introduced. Among the names considered were Marcus Dick, Marlon Dick, Moses Dick, Kobe Dick and Tariq Diq. For a moment the name Malick Dick popped up; but resistance soon stiffened; causing enthusiasm to flag.
Moreover, the name Toby Dick surfaced momentarily but was immediately dropped as it triggered some traumatic memories of the show “Roots” In the end the debate swirled around the highly descriptive names Mocha Dick and Cocoa Dick. As the committee found itself deadlocked on this issue, it was decided to adopt two whales of color and call them the “Sperm Squad”….
Honestly, Queequeg, a tattooed pagan cannibal South Pacific islander, would make a perfectly appropriate cover for a “Diverse Edition” cover — certainly less of reach than you’d have to make for an edition of Pride and Prejudice, or The Scarlet Letter.
Of course, Queequeg is good-natured, rather than “outraged”, and, as a skilled harpooner, earns more than the white protagonist of the book, so he’s probably not truly acceptable for the “woke” crowd.
CallmelennieFebruary 14, 2020, 2:05 PM
To quote my childhood hero, Nick Danger, “What an unsuspected exprise!”
You happened upon this at just the right moment, Gerard. I did some major tweaking of the text just this morning to make it flow better. My best add was probably the “eager to delve into cryptic, unreadable 19th century maritime literature”
I almost ruined my own keyboard reading that back.
Desert RatFebruary 14, 2020, 4:23 PM
This is the fruit of “higher education” in what was formerly Christendom. The people who run these companies have virtually all been subjected to the university/college system of indoctrination which builds on the conditioning applied in K thru 12 that sets the mind in a state to receive even the most outrageously insane doctrines. And the “leaders of industry” of today are only the first truly “woke” cohort to work their way in to positions of authority – but they are only partially “woke” as their early education still contained traces of traditional values and morality. The younger cohorts coming after them have had their “education” delivered with much greater purity of message and in a more sustained manner than previously and so they will hold back on nothing – there will be no apologies or back pedaling from them.
CallmelennieFebruary 15, 2020, 9:51 AM
Some of the best stuff I’ve done on the internet are musical spoofs of the novel “Moby Dick”; two of which are on the “Wokie Dick” thread
Here’s yet another group of parodies done by the “The Breech Boys” — my notional Herman Melville tribute band (parodying Sloop John B, Wendy and Help Me Rhonda)
We went to harpoon Moby
My crazed captain and me
Round the whole damn globe we did roam
Prepping all night
Attacked at first light
Well, the Pequod’s broke up
I wanna go home
So hoist down the harpoon boats
See how the white whale acts
Gawk at the captain in horror, let me go home
I wanna go home
Real World Address for Donations, Mash Notes and Hate Mail
Gerard Van der Leun
1692 MANGROVE AVE
APT 379
Chico, Ca 95926
Green Pants Interior by Klahn
Who Am I? by Carl Sandburg
My head knocks against the stars.
My feet are on the hilltops.
My finger-tips are in the valleys and shores of universal life.
Down in the sounding foam of primal things I reach my hands and play with pebbles of destiny.
I have been to hell and back many times.
I know all about heaven, for I have talked with God.
I dabble in the blood and guts of the terrible.
I know the passionate seizure of beauty
And the marvelous rebellion of man at all signs reading “Keep Off.”
My name is Truth and I am the most elusive captive in the universe.
Duty, Beauty, Liberty, Country, Honor, Family, Faith — Plus a few simple easy to follow rules for guys
Men saw the stars at the edge of the sea
They thought great thoughts about liberty
Poets wrote down words that did fit
Writers wrote books
Thinkers thought about it
Take it where you find it
Can’t leave it alone
You will find a purpose
To carry it on
Mainly when you find it
Your heart will be strong
About it
Many’s the road I have walked upon
Many’s the hour between dusk and dawn
Many’s the time
Many’s the mile
I see it all now
Through the eyes of a child
Take it where you find it
Can’t leave it alone
You will find a purpose
To carry it on
Mainly when you find it
Your heart will be strong
About it
[Chorus]
Lost dreams and found dreams
In America
In America
In America
Lost dreams and found dreams
In America
In America
In America
And close your eyes
Leave it all for a while
Leave the world
And your worries behind
You will build on whatever is real
And wake up each day
To a new waking dream
Take it where you find it
Can’t leave it alone
You will find a purpose
To carry it on
Mainly when you find it
Your heart will be strong
About it
[Chorus]
Change, change come over
Change come over
Talkin’ about a change
Change, change
Change come over, now
Change, change, change come over
I’m gonna walk down the street
Until I see
My shining light
I’m gonna walk down the street
Until I see
My shining light
I’m gonna walk down the street
Until I see
My shining light
I’m gonna walk down the street
Until I see
My shining light
I see my light
See my light
See my shining light
I see my light
See my light
See my shining light
WOKEY DICK: New Diversity version of literary classic
Gerard Van der Leun
Comments on this entry are closed.
Honestly, Queequeg, a tattooed pagan cannibal South Pacific islander, would make a perfectly appropriate cover for a “Diverse Edition” cover — certainly less of reach than you’d have to make for an edition of Pride and Prejudice, or The Scarlet Letter.
Of course, Queequeg is good-natured, rather than “outraged”, and, as a skilled harpooner, earns more than the white protagonist of the book, so he’s probably not truly acceptable for the “woke” crowd.
To quote my childhood hero, Nick Danger, “What an unsuspected exprise!”
You happened upon this at just the right moment, Gerard. I did some major tweaking of the text just this morning to make it flow better. My best add was probably the “eager to delve into cryptic, unreadable 19th century maritime literature”
I almost ruined my own keyboard reading that back.
This is the fruit of “higher education” in what was formerly Christendom. The people who run these companies have virtually all been subjected to the university/college system of indoctrination which builds on the conditioning applied in K thru 12 that sets the mind in a state to receive even the most outrageously insane doctrines. And the “leaders of industry” of today are only the first truly “woke” cohort to work their way in to positions of authority – but they are only partially “woke” as their early education still contained traces of traditional values and morality. The younger cohorts coming after them have had their “education” delivered with much greater purity of message and in a more sustained manner than previously and so they will hold back on nothing – there will be no apologies or back pedaling from them.
Some of the best stuff I’ve done on the internet are musical spoofs of the novel “Moby Dick”; two of which are on the “Wokie Dick” thread
Here’s yet another group of parodies done by the “The Breech Boys” — my notional Herman Melville tribute band (parodying Sloop John B, Wendy and Help Me Rhonda)
We went to harpoon Moby
My crazed captain and me
Round the whole damn globe we did roam
Prepping all night
Attacked at first light
Well, the Pequod’s broke up
I wanna go home
So hoist down the harpoon boats
See how the white whale acts
Gawk at the captain in horror, let me go home
I wanna go home
http://www.amiright.com/parody/60s/thebeachboys191.shtml