It isn’t just another pretty face: the toiler [sic] paper in the Usagi Luxury Toilet Paper Gift Set is among the best toilet paper you can find in Japan in terms of quality and softness. For the stunning presentation, it has been awarded with the 2016 Omotenashi Selection Award. Coming in an eight-roll set with wrapping made from handmade traditional washi paper, a distinctive red tube that forms a striking red-on-white combination evocative of Japan’s national flag, and a three-ply for an extra level of durability, this luxury toilet paper certainly stands out and begs to be felt. When you are at home, it’s never too much to indulge in some simple pleasures like this toilet paper provides.
Or, if you live beyond the “simple pleasures” take a ride on these Imperial sheets:
The Hanebisho Imperial Household Luxury Toilet Paper is made of 100% natural pulp, each roll wrapped in handmade washi paper (in three different yet suitable regal colors of blue, green, and white), and comes in a set of three in a beautiful gift box. Too discreet to have a fragrance but with a delicate butterfly pattern that recalls classic craftsmanship, this two-ply paper is equally as home in your home toilet as it is on a shelf or mantlepiece as decoration or an ornament.
Show me a luxury keester, and I’ll show you a stag at bay.
Natural pulp.
ThisIsNotNutellaApril 13, 2022, 7:50 PM
How many of you grumpy old manly men are secret devotees of Japan’s greatest gift to Humankind, the Toto Washlet? Asking for a Friend.
gwbnycApril 13, 2022, 9:14 PM
I drowned a little dog with mine before I broke down and read the instructions.
azlibertarianApril 14, 2022, 6:23 AM
Because I don’t own one myself, I can’t say that I’m a devotee yet, but I am definitely a fan. I used to visit Tokyo frequently and the toilets in the hotel were a favorite experience.
Japan in one sentence; Japan, cold houses, warm toilet seats.
Daniel K DayApril 14, 2022, 9:23 PM
James ONeil, you missed your chance. You should have written that as a haiku.
Geoff C. The SaltineApril 13, 2022, 7:54 PM
Usagi TP ” three ply for an extra level of durability” so how many times can you use it before it quits working.
Quite the gift for that special asshole in your life.
Hale AdamsApril 13, 2022, 8:13 PM
As Gerard is fond of asking:
“The Japanese: Nuked too much, or not enough?”
Hale Adams
Pikesville, People’s still-mostly-Democratic Republic of Maryland
Hale AdamsApril 13, 2022, 8:16 PM
An edit function? Kewl!
Hale Adams
Pikesville, People’s still-mostly-Democratic Republic of Maryland
PA CatApril 13, 2022, 8:32 PM
Well, the Japanese take care of feline toileting needs too– the U.S. subsidiary of Iris Ohyama offers no fewer than 17 types and sizes of litter boxes, with or without scoops: https://www.irisusainc.com/collections/litter-boxes
No mention of whether the Imperial Household provides one of these for its resident cats.
Meanwhile, it wouldn’t surprise me if the Biden “cottage” in Delaware is supplied with Imperial Household Luxury Toilet Paper– nothing but the best for JoJo and Hunter.
Swap Meet LouieApril 13, 2022, 9:14 PM
Toilet paper is a construct of the white male patriarchy.
Equality will finally be achieved at the egalitarian slit trench latrine.
Do not personalize your place at the trench as nothing is unique in the people’s unity hive collective.
Rat meat kebabs are available free of charge by the 55 gallon hope and change burn barrels.
Imagine how much Lizzo would need to clean her rump after defecation.
Snakepit KansasApril 14, 2022, 3:14 AM
I hope I can black that thought from my mind quickly.
ghostsniperApril 14, 2022, 4:14 AM
It can’t reach it’s own anus.
It must waddle into the curbless shower and hand held high pressure nozzles to blast away the massive amount of fecal matter built up around the periphery of it’s gesticulating sphincter. The shower has an industrial grade 10″ drain pipe with grinder function.
JackApril 14, 2022, 6:45 AM
I’d wager the TP at her crib is for guests only. There is no way that Lizzo Potato Head could even approach the task without a fixture that includes a high pressure hose or two. Or three. And a room to accommodate the process.
But her life revolves around the vile, the repulsive and offensive behavior and performance and from what I have seen, with consideration given to all human repulsiveness, she has outclassed everyone else in the repulsive category. And people eat that crap with a spoon.
I just watched as much of one of her videos as I could tolerate. “Repulsive” does not begin to describe this vile and talentless sheboon. And to think that Caucasian teens wish to emulate the creature. If I were not sitting in my home, I would spit.
Any culture that would elevate such a vulgar and grotesque beast to the pinnacle of stardom does not deserve to survive. And it won’t.
HossApril 14, 2022, 4:14 AM
Just give me my Scott’s please.
Univ of Saigon 68April 14, 2022, 7:32 AM
Forget it. During the dark days of the start of Covid, we went shopping at Costco for TP. All the other lemmings had gotten there before us and took all the good stuff. We like the kind with the bear family on the package, you know, the blue ones. Anyhoo, we were lamenting this to some wise-ass friends, and as a joke they put a ribbon on a Scotts roll and left it on the porch. I used it a couple times. It’s thin as onion skin and about half a mile long. You need twenty sheets per wipe. Sometimes I forget to bring a new roll of bear family TP into the downstairs bathroom, and I have to get the Scotts out of the cabinet. Two and a half years later there’s still half a roll left.
HossApril 14, 2022, 11:40 AM
20 sheets? You can easily get the job done in 10 or less. Lol.
Gerard is fond of repeating the Secret Real American Mantra “Anything worth doing is worth over-doing.” Occasionally, the Japanese dial this one up to 12.
HylandApril 14, 2022, 5:31 AM
Certainly California should be a front runner for a good nuking. The legislature there wants to approve spending a million bucks to make menstrual products available to “men” and every other variety of gender… numbering somewhere towards 58 or so? https://campusreform.org/article?id=17893
LadyBikkiApril 14, 2022, 5:44 AM
Curiosity got the better of me and I checked out the website.
They sell a driftwood scented version and I wondered exactly what that might smell like…dead fish and seaweed ?
A curious mind is not always a good thing.
& Japans the only country I’ve visited that has a terrycloth towel museum.
Lance de BoyleApril 14, 2022, 12:46 PM
We were too poor to afford toilet paper.
[Oh hell. Is he doing that ‘We were so poor’ schtick again?… It appears so.]
We would string a thick rope between two trees….because you can’t string a rope between one tree…. straddle it, and run back and forth a few times.
Sure we gave ourselves prolapsed rectums and were often mistaken for baboons.
But we liked it.
Not like today’s tender butt hole babies.
“Oy a rope.”
I blame it on the Cisco Kid’s fag outfit.
Real World Address for Donations, Mash Notes and Hate Mail
Gerard Van der Leun
1692 MANGROVE AVE
APT 379
Chico, Ca 95926
Green Pants Interior by Klahn
Who Am I? by Carl Sandburg
My head knocks against the stars.
My feet are on the hilltops.
My finger-tips are in the valleys and shores of universal life.
Down in the sounding foam of primal things I reach my hands and play with pebbles of destiny.
I have been to hell and back many times.
I know all about heaven, for I have talked with God.
I dabble in the blood and guts of the terrible.
I know the passionate seizure of beauty
And the marvelous rebellion of man at all signs reading “Keep Off.”
My name is Truth and I am the most elusive captive in the universe.
Duty, Beauty, Liberty, Country, Honor, Family, Faith — Plus a few simple easy to follow rules for guys
Men saw the stars at the edge of the sea
They thought great thoughts about liberty
Poets wrote down words that did fit
Writers wrote books
Thinkers thought about it
Take it where you find it
Can’t leave it alone
You will find a purpose
To carry it on
Mainly when you find it
Your heart will be strong
About it
Many’s the road I have walked upon
Many’s the hour between dusk and dawn
Many’s the time
Many’s the mile
I see it all now
Through the eyes of a child
Take it where you find it
Can’t leave it alone
You will find a purpose
To carry it on
Mainly when you find it
Your heart will be strong
About it
[Chorus]
Lost dreams and found dreams
In America
In America
In America
Lost dreams and found dreams
In America
In America
In America
And close your eyes
Leave it all for a while
Leave the world
And your worries behind
You will build on whatever is real
And wake up each day
To a new waking dream
Take it where you find it
Can’t leave it alone
You will find a purpose
To carry it on
Mainly when you find it
Your heart will be strong
About it
[Chorus]
Change, change come over
Change come over
Talkin’ about a change
Change, change
Change come over, now
Change, change, change come over
I’m gonna walk down the street
Until I see
My shining light
I’m gonna walk down the street
Until I see
My shining light
I’m gonna walk down the street
Until I see
My shining light
I’m gonna walk down the street
Until I see
My shining light
I see my light
See my light
See my shining light
I see my light
See my light
See my shining light
Usagi Luxury Toilet Paper Gift Set (Pack of 8 Rolls) –$ 90It only takes a feel of the Hanebisho Imperial Household Luxury Toilet Paper ($80) to understand why it is supplied to the Imperial Household Agency and used by Japan’s emperors and princes: this is way beyond your usual toilet paper.
Gerard Van der Leun
Comments on this entry are closed.
Show me a luxury keester, and I’ll show you a stag at bay.
Natural pulp.
How many of you grumpy old manly men are secret devotees of Japan’s greatest gift to Humankind, the Toto Washlet? Asking for a Friend.
I drowned a little dog with mine before I broke down and read the instructions.
Because I don’t own one myself, I can’t say that I’m a devotee yet, but I am definitely a fan. I used to visit Tokyo frequently and the toilets in the hotel were a favorite experience.
Japan in one sentence; Japan, cold houses, warm toilet seats.
James ONeil, you missed your chance. You should have written that as a haiku.
Usagi TP ” three ply for an extra level of durability” so how many times can you use it before it quits working.
Quite the gift for that special asshole in your life.
As Gerard is fond of asking:
“The Japanese: Nuked too much, or not enough?”
Hale Adams
Pikesville, People’s still-mostly-Democratic Republic of Maryland
An edit function? Kewl!
Hale Adams
Pikesville, People’s still-mostly-Democratic Republic of Maryland
Well, the Japanese take care of feline toileting needs too– the U.S. subsidiary of Iris Ohyama offers no fewer than 17 types and sizes of litter boxes, with or without scoops:
https://www.irisusainc.com/collections/litter-boxes
No mention of whether the Imperial Household provides one of these for its resident cats.
Meanwhile, it wouldn’t surprise me if the Biden “cottage” in Delaware is supplied with Imperial Household Luxury Toilet Paper– nothing but the best for JoJo and Hunter.
Toilet paper is a construct of the white male patriarchy.
Equality will finally be achieved at the egalitarian slit trench latrine.
Do not personalize your place at the trench as nothing is unique in the people’s unity hive collective.
Rat meat kebabs are available free of charge by the 55 gallon hope and change burn barrels.
RIMSHOT!
Imagine how much Lizzo would need to clean her rump after defecation.
I hope I can black that thought from my mind quickly.
It can’t reach it’s own anus.
It must waddle into the curbless shower and hand held high pressure nozzles to blast away the massive amount of fecal matter built up around the periphery of it’s gesticulating sphincter. The shower has an industrial grade 10″ drain pipe with grinder function.
I’d wager the TP at her crib is for guests only. There is no way that Lizzo Potato Head could even approach the task without a fixture that includes a high pressure hose or two. Or three. And a room to accommodate the process.
But her life revolves around the vile, the repulsive and offensive behavior and performance and from what I have seen, with consideration given to all human repulsiveness, she has outclassed everyone else in the repulsive category. And people eat that crap with a spoon.
I just watched as much of one of her videos as I could tolerate. “Repulsive” does not begin to describe this vile and talentless sheboon. And to think that Caucasian teens wish to emulate the creature. If I were not sitting in my home, I would spit.
Any culture that would elevate such a vulgar and grotesque beast to the pinnacle of stardom does not deserve to survive. And it won’t.
Just give me my Scott’s please.
Forget it. During the dark days of the start of Covid, we went shopping at Costco for TP. All the other lemmings had gotten there before us and took all the good stuff. We like the kind with the bear family on the package, you know, the blue ones. Anyhoo, we were lamenting this to some wise-ass friends, and as a joke they put a ribbon on a Scotts roll and left it on the porch. I used it a couple times. It’s thin as onion skin and about half a mile long. You need twenty sheets per wipe. Sometimes I forget to bring a new roll of bear family TP into the downstairs bathroom, and I have to get the Scotts out of the cabinet. Two and a half years later there’s still half a roll left.
20 sheets? You can easily get the job done in 10 or less. Lol.
Gerard is fond of repeating the Secret Real American Mantra “Anything worth doing is worth over-doing.” Occasionally, the Japanese dial this one up to 12.
Certainly California should be a front runner for a good nuking. The legislature there wants to approve spending a million bucks to make menstrual products available to “men” and every other variety of gender… numbering somewhere towards 58 or so? https://campusreform.org/article?id=17893
Curiosity got the better of me and I checked out the website.
They sell a driftwood scented version and I wondered exactly what that might smell like…dead fish and seaweed ?
A curious mind is not always a good thing.
& Japans the only country I’ve visited that has a terrycloth towel museum.
We were too poor to afford toilet paper.
[Oh hell. Is he doing that ‘We were so poor’ schtick again?… It appears so.]
We would string a thick rope between two trees….because you can’t string a rope between one tree…. straddle it, and run back and forth a few times.
Sure we gave ourselves prolapsed rectums and were often mistaken for baboons.
But we liked it.
Not like today’s tender butt hole babies.
“Oy a rope.”
I blame it on the Cisco Kid’s fag outfit.
Hey! He was a friend of mine!