WHEN in the course of human Events, it becomes necessary….
When death comes for bloggers
byVanderleunonFebruary 1, 2023
It’s a daily voice, like a friend you talk to on the phone every day. The closest thing to this kind of writing prior to blogging was the daily columnist (when did those go out? or did they ever exist?).
You get to thinking a blogger is someone you know, and although the conversations are a mite one-sided, they’re not totally one-sided because many bloggers interact in the comments as well. And then there’s always email contact, which makes the blogger much more easily accessible than the olden-day columnist.
The writing voices of bloggers are highly idiosyncratic as well. It’s not newspaper reporting, after all, with its pretense of objectivity and impersonality. Also, there’s no middleman or editor. The blogger is all of that rolled into one.
Some bloggers are far more personal in their writing and disclosure than others. Gerard was that way, and his writing packed a huge wallop. His voice was so bold and distinctive, and his range immense. His was a high-wire act.
Then again, even openness is hardly full disclosure, and bloggers intentionally shape the personae they project. That’s why meeting a blogger in the real world usually causes at least some feeling of surprise, because the writer is not the person although the person is definitely the writer. People contain multitudes, and Gerard was especially multitudinous.
When a blogger dies and that writing voice is stilled, there’s often a pang very much like losing a very good friend in real life, a friend with a major daily presence. The blogger has been churning out copy like a machine, usually every day and probably several times a day, often for years or decades – entertaining readers, amusing readers, maybe even inspiring readers or comforting readers or making them consider something new.
And then suddenly: silence. Utter utter silence.
It’s a very dramatic reminder that death is an abrupt and reluctant parting as far as our lives on earth go, and how powerless all of us are in its face. I knew Gerard very very well in what he liked to call the world dimensional, and the grief I feel is immense. But you, his readers, most of whom only knew his words on a screen, feel grief too at the loss of the completely unique original human being known as Gerard Vanderleun.
Neo, What you have written about Gerard and his interaction with his readers is spot on. It is my personal opinion that Gerard was the Rush Limbaugh of blogging. He knew what his readers wanted long before they knew it. He knew it and then communicated it in such a fashion that left you feeling good even if you did not agree with what you read. The icing on the proverbial cake was that he made you think while you basked in the mental experiences of what he wrote about.
As Rush used to say, “Talent on loan from God”.
Casey KlahnFebruary 2, 2023, 6:34 AM
It crossed my mind that the loss of G. feels very much like the loss of Rush. It has the same big-empty-hole in the opinionverse effect.
NealinPomereneFebruary 2, 2023, 8:27 AM
My eyes still well up with tears when I think of Rush and how much I miss him. Then, seem to remember something he said or did that just brings a big grin to my face (Dan’s Bake Sale, as an example) and makes me feel grateful that I lived at the same times that he did.
When I read Neo’s post informing us of Gerard’s passing, I had the same wave of grief and tears. At first I didn’t understand why. I had never met Gerard and only commented occasionally. Then I remembered some of the great things Gerard wrote that made me laugh or think seriously about how his insights made me look at things from a slightly different angle. To me, Gerard was to blogging as Rush was to radio. I am so grateful to have occupied this little blue marble at the same time as Gerard. As Joe quoted Rush “Talent on loan from GOD” really applies to all of us. It’s what we do with the talent that matters. Gerard really made meaningful use of his talent.
Beautifully said. I’ve been a reader here for roughly 20 years; hearing that he was in hospice was like looking out the window and finding a mountain had disappeared during the night.
TerryFebruary 1, 2023, 6:34 PM
Yes, ditto, ditto, ditto.
Not looking forward to reading and seeing everything on AD every day is a hole in my soul.
ghostsniperFebruary 1, 2023, 6:16 PM
Gerard is greatly missed. I had always entertained the idea of going to Chico and meeting him one day. But like all the other “one days” it never happened and now it’s too late. Once again the conveyor belt of life has passed me by.
I still stop in at AD several times a day to see what’s going on but I am probably just unconsciously hoping that some sort of mistake has occurred and Gerards new posting will occur like they always did. But now they don’t, and I can’t let go.
I’ve only been around here for about 5 years so for some of you old timers this must seem surreal. “How can this be?”, you ask yourself over and over. The best I can tell Gerard published 15 things I have written here over that time span. I’ve never written anything worthwhile in my whole life but some how the stuff Gerard wrote caused me to write stuff in spurts of spontaneity and for the most part the readers liked them, or tolerated them. And it’s just like Gerard to turn the spotlight away from himself and onto someone else for a bit. Thank you Gerard.
Early on Gerard hooked me up with long time commenter Chasmatic and he and I conversed many times over the next year or two in emails and phone calls until he died. Through Chas I met Remus and he and I exchanged many emails until he too died. The world is getting smaller.
I turned 68 yesterday the 31st and nobody ever warned me that when you get old this death thing becomes a regular part of daily life. First your grandparents, then your parents, then your siblings and friends and you can’t help but wonder when your number will be called. The closer the friend the harder you wonder. Though I never met Gerard in person he seemed like a friend to me and somebody I could get along with in person. His passing is making me wonder again.
While I am deeply saddened that Gerard is now gone I am so very glad that I got to know him. The thin sliver of him that I got to know online was way better than hundreds of people I have know in real life. He is missed and I mourn for my friend. And I wonder for how long.
Casey KlahnFebruary 2, 2023, 6:40 AM
Happy Birthday, you old so and so.
You’re a blogger inside a blog, Ghostie. It’s interesting to read your meet-ups with a few of the blog readers. This dimension, as G. would describe it, is real in a way and if I never get another chance to say it: fair winds to you.
And a belated happy B/day from me, Ghost. If I knew where you lived I’d send a flower.
JWM
John CondonFebruary 1, 2023, 6:29 PM
Hi Neo,
I’ve been a longtime reader of Gerards, read him in passing between the years of 2001 & 2005… I think. I read him in increasing frequency from that time on and by 2008 or 9, he kinda became my homepage.
One of the voices of sanity for me as I worked the Graveyard Shift at the nearby University ensuring the machinery ran properly and my dayshift life was running student housing which resembled more the Muppet Show.
Gerards writings broadened my horizons in ways I never dreamed. Went to school for Engineering, math and science were the languages i spoke, and any sort of writing and … ‘words’, were a weak point of mine. Still is, actually; and yet he brought out a part of me I never thought of existed.
The writings, the poetry, the stories, even his short comments were all here with the still living author to curate it.
I wonder if he knew how much time I had spent here over the years reading… reading…
Now he is gone.
AnonymousFebruary 2, 2023, 4:04 AM
Thank you Neo. The day the music died. The day the radio stopped…. The day Gerard stopped writing.
Quietness in the house when Rush left us and now checking AD to see if we can get a glimpse of Gerard.
A friend we never met.
When the fire happened in Paradise I was making shadow boxes for my grandkids.
Cigar boxes with a story about each of them; A guitar player, a cat lover, a drummer and a box for a little girl who did not have a life story yet so she got a lot of sweetness and hearts.
Quite a while I was playing with the idea of making one for Gerard as he had lost everything in the house.
I never did.
It’s one of my regrets.
Take good care of yourself Neo.
Yes.
And thank you, Neo.
Like Ghostsniper said, one of the many joys of post-middle age is slowly realizing that death is no longer an an abstraction. It’s a real thing, now, and it knows our names. When we’re in our twenties, we can be glib, and toss it off with, “Of course, I know I’ll die someday,” but we really don’t believe it.
It’s different, now.
There is knowing things in your head, and *Knowing* them in your gut. Words alone cannot carry the Knowledge from one to the other. You haven’t seen the elephant until you’ve seen him.
I keep clicking over to American Digest, but it’s only in hopes of catching a note from some of the gang of regular commenters. I don’t want to lose contact with this group.
But the captain is gone, the ship is sinking, and we’re suddenly treading water. Like it or not, many will drift downstream, and be lost.
Like everyone here, I feel a big hole in my life right now. The desktop is my only portal to the world here at the suburban hermitage, and more than half the time I spend on line is spent here.
Suddenly I’m reading books.
And I’m pondering over the nature of these relationships, these cyber-friendships that we’ve all developed. How much of our true selves do we project into this medium? How much congruence is there between the nic, the post, the human, and the soul? I can’t escape the feeling that there is more than mere information exchanged across the wires here. It’s something much deeper. Maybe something new in the world.
The sense of kindred souls is no illusion.
Thank you for expressing what I’m feeling simply and beautifully. I’ve been a reader of American Digest since shortly after 9/11, drawn here by Insty; I hardly ever commented but loved seeing the interplay between our host, Ghost, Casey, and many other regulars. I’ve been reading you as well, Neo, since almost that time. Like the others said, I feel this loss the same way I felt the loss of Rush. God bless you, Neo and keep you.
I never expected to be as deeply affected by Gerard’s death as I have been. His great voice SPOKE to me, just to me. You guys know what I mean.
It’s a very curious thing. I’ve only been a regular visitor for a couple of years. I made AD my second click in the mornings (the first being AOSHQ). I felt I’d known him all my life. He was a brilliant writer, elegant and focused, and he could almost make me shed a tear or two. IMHO, he was the best writer on the blogosphere. I will miss his posts dearly.
Neo, I don’t know you but thank you. Any of us — all of us — would gladly volunteer to help you keep Gerard’s written legacy alive. Writers crave immortality. That’s why we write…
(P.S., not to mention some of the regular commenters that are as erudite, intelligent, witty, and savvy as Gerard was.)
As American Digest goes afloat into the ether just thought I’d share another potent article with you. This is CJ Hopkins, ex-pat living in Berlin, the same guy who coined the phrase “Covidian Cult.” CJ did NOT take the jab. https://off-guardian.org/2023/01/31/how-to-memory-hole-a-psyop/
AnneFebruary 2, 2023, 1:21 PM
Thank you Tom for this link–very interesting.
We should never forget what Oprah said about the older generations of white people: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e2G_14FZxL8
I saw them shove my ex-husband into hospice when he was telling them he wanted to fight. We never did get to talk to his doctor. The nurse in charge just decided he was the wrong kind of white male to try to keep alive.
My DH (second marriage) was elected president of the academic/intellectual society that gave rise to WEF/Davos. His term was as President-elect for one year, then president for one year, and finally past president for one year. From the moment he was elected we were aware of a small group of people–socialists (communists)–that believed to make the world a better place the Americans had to give up some of their freedoms. As I said, this is the VERY SMART group of people that created the justification for the evil we are now facing. Neither my DH nor myself were ever aware of their intentions. Never believed their ideas would become governmental mandates as opposed to proposed ways to better design/solve problems. When DH was invited to attend Davos early on he said very curtly “no” in a voice that was not typically his. I was a little shocked when I heard that voice in that social setting–cocktail reception. I had only heard that voice when he was telling our daughter something that was absolutely not acceptable! When he finished serving his term as “past president” he quietly withdrew from the group. I never asked why until years later, by then I had figured it out myself and just asked for affirmation or denial. He had refused to attend the WEF/Davos group because he knew way back then what they were up to–that they believed they had to take control of our freedoms. He already knew that this polite and friendly very sophisticated group of intellectuals did not believe in individual rights or agency.
I am hoping we can build our own little blog for those of us who loved AD. If anyone here finds a way to do this, please count me in.
Tom HylandFebruary 3, 2023, 8:53 AM
A marvelous informative reply here, Anne! The Oprah clip is worthy for contemplating that this black woman is the most famous diversity-hire of all time. It’s white folks who allowed her to become what she is. The elitists who own the world pushed the Oprah chess piece into play to help trigger the anti-white holocaust currently in full swing. The fake pandemic… and then the fake “vaccines”… the voodoo potion designed to reduce the world population suckered and murdered our brilliant host Gerard. I’m going to miss American Digest for this congregation of lucid participants but if somehow it goes on for a while longer I’ll be checking in for sure.
ghostsniperFebruary 2, 2023, 6:17 PM
Be neat if each of us “regulars” could post a topic for discussion each day, in rotation, that anyone could comment on. The only supervision required would be someone to root out the spammers.
HylandFebruary 2, 2023, 6:36 PM
Cool idea… but the spammers are a bitch… so true. Swanson at Daily Time Waster is under enemy attack 24/7 from “make thousand$ every day” whores. He rakes them out periodically. It was nice that I never saw that crap on Gerard’s watch. I don’t write poetry and I don’t drop lengthy thought-pieces into place. But I do read a hell of a lot, all over the place, and it always pleased me when Gerard would headline something I offered and that would result in a multitude of commentary.
Casey KlahnFebruary 2, 2023, 7:36 PM
Hi, Neo.
I knew when I read the title of this post that it’d be one for the ages. The things you write about the depth of blogging – it’s making of friendships sometimes remote but sometimes actualized, is on target.
There has been more than once (maybe more than a hundred!) times when I’ve written comments here and I abused that old writing rule of self-reference. I used too many personal pronouns – me, I and myself. I hated doing that but the tempo here as set by G. was such that you felt a need to open up. To place yourself into the storyline that was content either right-of-center, or better described as “not insane”. You personalized the news and opinions, the trends and the fault lines of contemporary America and the world as you saw it (crumbling). G. published several of my comments, and sometimes lavishly illustrated them. I recall well the one about Custer and the Little Big Horn. Another follow-on of that one about China on the map. I’ll not that G. posted my art in his sidebar, and changed the works out periodically.
Neo, you write about bloggers who meet. When I began mine, in 2007, it became a well-attended blog and did make me famous in my own sphere of art bloggers. I carefully avoided politics, as you can well understand. Anyway, I began to meet bloggers and readers in my travels. Later, when art blogging or maybe it was blogging in general thinned out, I looked around for my audience, and found them gathered at Facebook. The story goes on, and suffice it to say that I broke Facebook like a one dollar hammer and I’ve met hundreds of the “friends” there and made actual friends of them. Stayed at their houses. Gotten drunk, soaked in hot tubs, traveled with them. Taught workshops to them and with them all over the country, and Canada and Europe twice. This cyberverse dimension does venn overlap in real life, and anyway that is why your post resonates. Let me just say “right on!”
Because of the overlap of painting art and writing, I did meet up with Sippican Cottage many years ago, in Maine. Besides Gerard and a small handful of others, Gregory was so genius at the written word that he could steal your socks with a story and leave your shoes untouched. Neo, with this post you’ve written one that reminds me a lot of Sippican.
Here is where I say that I love the crew at AD – the readers, comment taters, author(s) and all.
Casey KlahnFebruary 2, 2023, 7:37 PM
The spamfilter has swallowed my comment all day. It was goodie, too. Will try again tomorrow.
To all who are missing Gerard, and our “glances” at each other which materialized here. Gerard may be gone, i.e. the Captain (Gerard) no longer has the helm, as Navy parlance would put it, that does not mean we’re adrift with no helm to man. Some of the ideas for continued “glances” (interactions) can continue here. As Hyland has done, we can post a link to an interesting article for others to delve into if so desired, or if we see one of the regulars,or others, in the “Your Say” sidebar one can always checkin to see what’s what, as Ghostsniper has mentioned. I posted a few words in tribute to Gerard, but did commit the “sin” of using many me and mines, but only because my more personal interactions with Gerard were like bright flareups of flame which warmed my soul individually, while all our souls were warmed by Gerard collectively.
Like many of us, I keep coming back, knowing that Gerard is no longer here, but drawn here none-the-less. His loss is still with me.
Like Ghost and Casey, Gerard once gave me the high honor of elevating one of my comments into a post on these pages. I’ve mentioned before that I find the written word difficult. My (now very ancient) degree is in physics, and as I look back at the olden times, I don’t think I wrote one term paper, and certainly nothing as comprehensive as a thesis. My now-long-abandoned blog was my attempt at teaching myself how to write…a skill which I cannot remotely say that I have achieved.
I say all this because I so enjoyed Gerard’s skills with words. Frankly, while I read most of his poetry, I didn’t “get” much of it, but his written words told these powerful stories. [For example, he has added “Duty, Beauty, Liberty, Country, Honor, Family, Faith” to the banner at the top his page. My only real skill in life is to steal the great ideas of others, fair and square, and I am so stealing that. Seven words which say just about everything.]
Anyway, I thought again of Gerard last night as I watched a Netflix show on Leonard Cohen, who, if I am not mistaken, I was first introduced to by our own Gerard. As I said, I don’t understand poetry, and I barely understand lyrics. Where is the line between a poem and a lyric? Dunno.
So anyway, if you have a Netflix account and a couple of hours, I do recommend Hallelujah. Watch it and see if you don’t see parallels to Gerard.
AnneFebruary 3, 2023, 8:24 PM
In the hopes of keeping alive the tradition of conversation here at the AD website, I would like to say that I find the Leonard Cohen documentary to be a terrible waste of time–just another type of push advertising! Sorry.
HylandFebruary 3, 2023, 10:49 PM
I agree, Anne. I didn’t even click it. I’m not sorry at all. Whatever… good conversation is valuable. There’s some great contributions here among the regulars. I never was attracted to Cohen’s preachy offerings. Couple of songs were pretty good but most of it I never subscribed to.
doug galecawitzFebruary 5, 2023, 3:41 PM
i think i was in my early 20s or so when i first came to read Gerard….. either through Kevin Baker’s The Smallest Minority or Kim DuToit’s older site. I am now 45. I’ve never commented much as I believe letting the grown folks do the talking was the better path. I’ll miss Gerard’s brand of politics and especially culture. Best wishes for his family.
NoriFebruary 5, 2023, 7:26 PM
azlibertarian asked “Where is the line between a poem and a lyric?”
There is’nt.
Some lyrics are poetic;some poetry is lyrical.
A mind attuned to the factual,logical reality of the way life in the here and now may find more ethereal concepts difficult to comprehend. It’s not a good nor a bad thing,it’s just reality. Same for the arty-er amongst us humans. One does’nt expect an engineer to write poetry,nor a poet to design,well,anything that functions as intended.
Then there’s the gifted,like Gerard who presented poetry,his own or others,that drew you in and made you want to read it. Understanding all the nuances may or may not happen,but the journey
is’nt wasted.
Casey KlahnFebruary 6, 2023, 9:18 AM
Here’s the sort of post or video that G. liked to share.
Mother of God! So quick and unexpected, at least to his hidden readers. A month or so ago, I had read his posting, as I recall, about his hospitalization. I’ve not read all the post-Gerard entries. I’m sad. I hoped to catch up on what I thought might be just a passing illness. I thought I’d read wonderous and beautiful reflections on his sickness, recovery, and his brush with death. Instead, I’ve learned he has passed.
Thanks for my daily perspective, Gerard. As I mopingly prepare for my day job I recall this apt quote, ” better get busy living or get busy dying,” and how Gerard’s passing brought it to the forefront today. Gerard seemed to live to the end, sharing his deeply felt foibles, fun, and significance.
I’ll miss him and his writing.
My condolences to all who loved and cared for Gerard. Time to read the posts that he prepared and Neo published up top, in the event of his demise. Thank you Neo for keeping us in the loop.
Real World Address for Donations, Mash Notes and Hate Mail
Gerard Van der Leun
1692 MANGROVE AVE
APT 379
Chico, Ca 95926
Green Pants Interior by Klahn
Who Am I? by Carl Sandburg
My head knocks against the stars.
My feet are on the hilltops.
My finger-tips are in the valleys and shores of universal life.
Down in the sounding foam of primal things I reach my hands and play with pebbles of destiny.
I have been to hell and back many times.
I know all about heaven, for I have talked with God.
I dabble in the blood and guts of the terrible.
I know the passionate seizure of beauty
And the marvelous rebellion of man at all signs reading “Keep Off.”
My name is Truth and I am the most elusive captive in the universe.
Duty, Beauty, Liberty, Country, Honor, Family, Faith — Plus a few simple easy to follow rules for guys
Men saw the stars at the edge of the sea
They thought great thoughts about liberty
Poets wrote down words that did fit
Writers wrote books
Thinkers thought about it
Take it where you find it
Can’t leave it alone
You will find a purpose
To carry it on
Mainly when you find it
Your heart will be strong
About it
Many’s the road I have walked upon
Many’s the hour between dusk and dawn
Many’s the time
Many’s the mile
I see it all now
Through the eyes of a child
Take it where you find it
Can’t leave it alone
You will find a purpose
To carry it on
Mainly when you find it
Your heart will be strong
About it
[Chorus]
Lost dreams and found dreams
In America
In America
In America
Lost dreams and found dreams
In America
In America
In America
And close your eyes
Leave it all for a while
Leave the world
And your worries behind
You will build on whatever is real
And wake up each day
To a new waking dream
Take it where you find it
Can’t leave it alone
You will find a purpose
To carry it on
Mainly when you find it
Your heart will be strong
About it
[Chorus]
Change, change come over
Change come over
Talkin’ about a change
Change, change
Change come over, now
Change, change, change come over
I’m gonna walk down the street
Until I see
My shining light
I’m gonna walk down the street
Until I see
My shining light
I’m gonna walk down the street
Until I see
My shining light
I’m gonna walk down the street
Until I see
My shining light
I see my light
See my light
See my shining light
I see my light
See my light
See my shining light
Gerard Van der Leun
Comments on this entry are closed.
Neo, What you have written about Gerard and his interaction with his readers is spot on. It is my personal opinion that Gerard was the Rush Limbaugh of blogging. He knew what his readers wanted long before they knew it. He knew it and then communicated it in such a fashion that left you feeling good even if you did not agree with what you read. The icing on the proverbial cake was that he made you think while you basked in the mental experiences of what he wrote about.
As Rush used to say, “Talent on loan from God”.
It crossed my mind that the loss of G. feels very much like the loss of Rush. It has the same big-empty-hole in the opinionverse effect.
My eyes still well up with tears when I think of Rush and how much I miss him. Then, seem to remember something he said or did that just brings a big grin to my face (Dan’s Bake Sale, as an example) and makes me feel grateful that I lived at the same times that he did.
When I read Neo’s post informing us of Gerard’s passing, I had the same wave of grief and tears. At first I didn’t understand why. I had never met Gerard and only commented occasionally. Then I remembered some of the great things Gerard wrote that made me laugh or think seriously about how his insights made me look at things from a slightly different angle. To me, Gerard was to blogging as Rush was to radio. I am so grateful to have occupied this little blue marble at the same time as Gerard. As Joe quoted Rush “Talent on loan from GOD” really applies to all of us. It’s what we do with the talent that matters. Gerard really made meaningful use of his talent.
Go easy, Gerard!
Beautifully said. I’ve been a reader here for roughly 20 years; hearing that he was in hospice was like looking out the window and finding a mountain had disappeared during the night.
Yes, ditto, ditto, ditto.
Not looking forward to reading and seeing everything on AD every day is a hole in my soul.
Gerard is greatly missed. I had always entertained the idea of going to Chico and meeting him one day. But like all the other “one days” it never happened and now it’s too late. Once again the conveyor belt of life has passed me by.
I still stop in at AD several times a day to see what’s going on but I am probably just unconsciously hoping that some sort of mistake has occurred and Gerards new posting will occur like they always did. But now they don’t, and I can’t let go.
I’ve only been around here for about 5 years so for some of you old timers this must seem surreal. “How can this be?”, you ask yourself over and over. The best I can tell Gerard published 15 things I have written here over that time span. I’ve never written anything worthwhile in my whole life but some how the stuff Gerard wrote caused me to write stuff in spurts of spontaneity and for the most part the readers liked them, or tolerated them. And it’s just like Gerard to turn the spotlight away from himself and onto someone else for a bit. Thank you Gerard.
Early on Gerard hooked me up with long time commenter Chasmatic and he and I conversed many times over the next year or two in emails and phone calls until he died. Through Chas I met Remus and he and I exchanged many emails until he too died. The world is getting smaller.
I turned 68 yesterday the 31st and nobody ever warned me that when you get old this death thing becomes a regular part of daily life. First your grandparents, then your parents, then your siblings and friends and you can’t help but wonder when your number will be called. The closer the friend the harder you wonder. Though I never met Gerard in person he seemed like a friend to me and somebody I could get along with in person. His passing is making me wonder again.
While I am deeply saddened that Gerard is now gone I am so very glad that I got to know him. The thin sliver of him that I got to know online was way better than hundreds of people I have know in real life. He is missed and I mourn for my friend. And I wonder for how long.
Happy Birthday, you old so and so.
You’re a blogger inside a blog, Ghostie. It’s interesting to read your meet-ups with a few of the blog readers. This dimension, as G. would describe it, is real in a way and if I never get another chance to say it: fair winds to you.
Ghost, Happy belated birthday wishes and may you have many, many more. Tempus fugit.
Thanks Joe, you too Casey.
And a belated happy B/day from me, Ghost. If I knew where you lived I’d send a flower.
JWM
Hi Neo,
I’ve been a longtime reader of Gerards, read him in passing between the years of 2001 & 2005… I think. I read him in increasing frequency from that time on and by 2008 or 9, he kinda became my homepage.
One of the voices of sanity for me as I worked the Graveyard Shift at the nearby University ensuring the machinery ran properly and my dayshift life was running student housing which resembled more the Muppet Show.
Gerards writings broadened my horizons in ways I never dreamed. Went to school for Engineering, math and science were the languages i spoke, and any sort of writing and … ‘words’, were a weak point of mine. Still is, actually; and yet he brought out a part of me I never thought of existed.
The writings, the poetry, the stories, even his short comments were all here with the still living author to curate it.
I wonder if he knew how much time I had spent here over the years reading… reading…
Now he is gone.
Thank you Neo. The day the music died. The day the radio stopped…. The day Gerard stopped writing.
Quietness in the house when Rush left us and now checking AD to see if we can get a glimpse of Gerard.
A friend we never met.
When the fire happened in Paradise I was making shadow boxes for my grandkids.
Cigar boxes with a story about each of them; A guitar player, a cat lover, a drummer and a box for a little girl who did not have a life story yet so she got a lot of sweetness and hearts.
Quite a while I was playing with the idea of making one for Gerard as he had lost everything in the house.
I never did.
It’s one of my regrets.
Take good care of yourself Neo.
Yes.
And thank you, Neo.
Like Ghostsniper said, one of the many joys of post-middle age is slowly realizing that death is no longer an an abstraction. It’s a real thing, now, and it knows our names. When we’re in our twenties, we can be glib, and toss it off with, “Of course, I know I’ll die someday,” but we really don’t believe it.
It’s different, now.
There is knowing things in your head, and *Knowing* them in your gut. Words alone cannot carry the Knowledge from one to the other. You haven’t seen the elephant until you’ve seen him.
I keep clicking over to American Digest, but it’s only in hopes of catching a note from some of the gang of regular commenters. I don’t want to lose contact with this group.
But the captain is gone, the ship is sinking, and we’re suddenly treading water. Like it or not, many will drift downstream, and be lost.
Like everyone here, I feel a big hole in my life right now. The desktop is my only portal to the world here at the suburban hermitage, and more than half the time I spend on line is spent here.
Suddenly I’m reading books.
And I’m pondering over the nature of these relationships, these cyber-friendships that we’ve all developed. How much of our true selves do we project into this medium? How much congruence is there between the nic, the post, the human, and the soul? I can’t escape the feeling that there is more than mere information exchanged across the wires here. It’s something much deeper. Maybe something new in the world.
The sense of kindred souls is no illusion.
JWM
Thank you for expressing what I’m feeling simply and beautifully. I’ve been a reader of American Digest since shortly after 9/11, drawn here by Insty; I hardly ever commented but loved seeing the interplay between our host, Ghost, Casey, and many other regulars. I’ve been reading you as well, Neo, since almost that time. Like the others said, I feel this loss the same way I felt the loss of Rush. God bless you, Neo and keep you.
I never expected to be as deeply affected by Gerard’s death as I have been. His great voice SPOKE to me, just to me. You guys know what I mean.
It’s a very curious thing. I’ve only been a regular visitor for a couple of years. I made AD my second click in the mornings (the first being AOSHQ). I felt I’d known him all my life. He was a brilliant writer, elegant and focused, and he could almost make me shed a tear or two. IMHO, he was the best writer on the blogosphere. I will miss his posts dearly.
Neo, I don’t know you but thank you. Any of us — all of us — would gladly volunteer to help you keep Gerard’s written legacy alive. Writers crave immortality. That’s why we write…
(P.S., not to mention some of the regular commenters that are as erudite, intelligent, witty, and savvy as Gerard was.)
As American Digest goes afloat into the ether just thought I’d share another potent article with you. This is CJ Hopkins, ex-pat living in Berlin, the same guy who coined the phrase “Covidian Cult.” CJ did NOT take the jab. https://off-guardian.org/2023/01/31/how-to-memory-hole-a-psyop/
Thank you Tom for this link–very interesting.
We should never forget what Oprah said about the older generations of white people:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e2G_14FZxL8
I saw them shove my ex-husband into hospice when he was telling them he wanted to fight. We never did get to talk to his doctor. The nurse in charge just decided he was the wrong kind of white male to try to keep alive.
My DH (second marriage) was elected president of the academic/intellectual society that gave rise to WEF/Davos. His term was as President-elect for one year, then president for one year, and finally past president for one year. From the moment he was elected we were aware of a small group of people–socialists (communists)–that believed to make the world a better place the Americans had to give up some of their freedoms. As I said, this is the VERY SMART group of people that created the justification for the evil we are now facing. Neither my DH nor myself were ever aware of their intentions. Never believed their ideas would become governmental mandates as opposed to proposed ways to better design/solve problems. When DH was invited to attend Davos early on he said very curtly “no” in a voice that was not typically his. I was a little shocked when I heard that voice in that social setting–cocktail reception. I had only heard that voice when he was telling our daughter something that was absolutely not acceptable! When he finished serving his term as “past president” he quietly withdrew from the group. I never asked why until years later, by then I had figured it out myself and just asked for affirmation or denial. He had refused to attend the WEF/Davos group because he knew way back then what they were up to–that they believed they had to take control of our freedoms. He already knew that this polite and friendly very sophisticated group of intellectuals did not believe in individual rights or agency.
I am hoping we can build our own little blog for those of us who loved AD. If anyone here finds a way to do this, please count me in.
A marvelous informative reply here, Anne! The Oprah clip is worthy for contemplating that this black woman is the most famous diversity-hire of all time. It’s white folks who allowed her to become what she is. The elitists who own the world pushed the Oprah chess piece into play to help trigger the anti-white holocaust currently in full swing. The fake pandemic… and then the fake “vaccines”… the voodoo potion designed to reduce the world population suckered and murdered our brilliant host Gerard. I’m going to miss American Digest for this congregation of lucid participants but if somehow it goes on for a while longer I’ll be checking in for sure.
Be neat if each of us “regulars” could post a topic for discussion each day, in rotation, that anyone could comment on. The only supervision required would be someone to root out the spammers.
Cool idea… but the spammers are a bitch… so true. Swanson at Daily Time Waster is under enemy attack 24/7 from “make thousand$ every day” whores. He rakes them out periodically. It was nice that I never saw that crap on Gerard’s watch. I don’t write poetry and I don’t drop lengthy thought-pieces into place. But I do read a hell of a lot, all over the place, and it always pleased me when Gerard would headline something I offered and that would result in a multitude of commentary.
Hi, Neo.
I knew when I read the title of this post that it’d be one for the ages. The things you write about the depth of blogging – it’s making of friendships sometimes remote but sometimes actualized, is on target.
There has been more than once (maybe more than a hundred!) times when I’ve written comments here and I abused that old writing rule of self-reference. I used too many personal pronouns – me, I and myself. I hated doing that but the tempo here as set by G. was such that you felt a need to open up. To place yourself into the storyline that was content either right-of-center, or better described as “not insane”. You personalized the news and opinions, the trends and the fault lines of contemporary America and the world as you saw it (crumbling). G. published several of my comments, and sometimes lavishly illustrated them. I recall well the one about Custer and the Little Big Horn. Another follow-on of that one about China on the map. I’ll not that G. posted my art in his sidebar, and changed the works out periodically.
Neo, you write about bloggers who meet. When I began mine, in 2007, it became a well-attended blog and did make me famous in my own sphere of art bloggers. I carefully avoided politics, as you can well understand. Anyway, I began to meet bloggers and readers in my travels. Later, when art blogging or maybe it was blogging in general thinned out, I looked around for my audience, and found them gathered at Facebook. The story goes on, and suffice it to say that I broke Facebook like a one dollar hammer and I’ve met hundreds of the “friends” there and made actual friends of them. Stayed at their houses. Gotten drunk, soaked in hot tubs, traveled with them. Taught workshops to them and with them all over the country, and Canada and Europe twice. This cyberverse dimension does venn overlap in real life, and anyway that is why your post resonates. Let me just say “right on!”
Because of the overlap of painting art and writing, I did meet up with Sippican Cottage many years ago, in Maine. Besides Gerard and a small handful of others, Gregory was so genius at the written word that he could steal your socks with a story and leave your shoes untouched. Neo, with this post you’ve written one that reminds me a lot of Sippican.
Here is where I say that I love the crew at AD – the readers, comment taters, author(s) and all.
The spamfilter has swallowed my comment all day. It was goodie, too. Will try again tomorrow.
To all who are missing Gerard, and our “glances” at each other which materialized here. Gerard may be gone, i.e. the Captain (Gerard) no longer has the helm, as Navy parlance would put it, that does not mean we’re adrift with no helm to man. Some of the ideas for continued “glances” (interactions) can continue here. As Hyland has done, we can post a link to an interesting article for others to delve into if so desired, or if we see one of the regulars,or others, in the “Your Say” sidebar one can always checkin to see what’s what, as Ghostsniper has mentioned. I posted a few words in tribute to Gerard, but did commit the “sin” of using many me and mines, but only because my more personal interactions with Gerard were like bright flareups of flame which warmed my soul individually, while all our souls were warmed by Gerard collectively.
Loved your tribute, John.
Thank you, jd.
Like many of us, I keep coming back, knowing that Gerard is no longer here, but drawn here none-the-less. His loss is still with me.
Like Ghost and Casey, Gerard once gave me the high honor of elevating one of my comments into a post on these pages. I’ve mentioned before that I find the written word difficult. My (now very ancient) degree is in physics, and as I look back at the olden times, I don’t think I wrote one term paper, and certainly nothing as comprehensive as a thesis. My now-long-abandoned blog was my attempt at teaching myself how to write…a skill which I cannot remotely say that I have achieved.
I say all this because I so enjoyed Gerard’s skills with words. Frankly, while I read most of his poetry, I didn’t “get” much of it, but his written words told these powerful stories. [For example, he has added “Duty, Beauty, Liberty, Country, Honor, Family, Faith” to the banner at the top his page. My only real skill in life is to steal the great ideas of others, fair and square, and I am so stealing that. Seven words which say just about everything.]
Anyway, I thought again of Gerard last night as I watched a Netflix show on Leonard Cohen, who, if I am not mistaken, I was first introduced to by our own Gerard. As I said, I don’t understand poetry, and I barely understand lyrics. Where is the line between a poem and a lyric? Dunno.
So anyway, if you have a Netflix account and a couple of hours, I do recommend Hallelujah. Watch it and see if you don’t see parallels to Gerard.
In the hopes of keeping alive the tradition of conversation here at the AD website, I would like to say that I find the Leonard Cohen documentary to be a terrible waste of time–just another type of push advertising! Sorry.
I agree, Anne. I didn’t even click it. I’m not sorry at all. Whatever… good conversation is valuable. There’s some great contributions here among the regulars. I never was attracted to Cohen’s preachy offerings. Couple of songs were pretty good but most of it I never subscribed to.
i think i was in my early 20s or so when i first came to read Gerard….. either through Kevin Baker’s The Smallest Minority or Kim DuToit’s older site. I am now 45. I’ve never commented much as I believe letting the grown folks do the talking was the better path. I’ll miss Gerard’s brand of politics and especially culture. Best wishes for his family.
azlibertarian asked “Where is the line between a poem and a lyric?”
There is’nt.
Some lyrics are poetic;some poetry is lyrical.
A mind attuned to the factual,logical reality of the way life in the here and now may find more ethereal concepts difficult to comprehend. It’s not a good nor a bad thing,it’s just reality. Same for the arty-er amongst us humans. One does’nt expect an engineer to write poetry,nor a poet to design,well,anything that functions as intended.
Then there’s the gifted,like Gerard who presented poetry,his own or others,that drew you in and made you want to read it. Understanding all the nuances may or may not happen,but the journey
is’nt wasted.
Here’s the sort of post or video that G. liked to share.
https://youtu.be/NiyYaxSORLY
Mother of God! So quick and unexpected, at least to his hidden readers. A month or so ago, I had read his posting, as I recall, about his hospitalization. I’ve not read all the post-Gerard entries. I’m sad. I hoped to catch up on what I thought might be just a passing illness. I thought I’d read wonderous and beautiful reflections on his sickness, recovery, and his brush with death. Instead, I’ve learned he has passed.
Thanks for my daily perspective, Gerard. As I mopingly prepare for my day job I recall this apt quote, ” better get busy living or get busy dying,” and how Gerard’s passing brought it to the forefront today. Gerard seemed to live to the end, sharing his deeply felt foibles, fun, and significance.
I’ll miss him and his writing.
My condolences to all who loved and cared for Gerard. Time to read the posts that he prepared and Neo published up top, in the event of his demise. Thank you Neo for keeping us in the loop.