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The Taxaholic Democrat’s 12 Step Government Shuffle

These are the original Twelve Steps as suggested by the 2020 Democrat Android, BidenBernie 2.0.

1. We admitted we were powerless over spending — that our deficit had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that taxes greater than currently levied could restore us to solvency.

3. Made a decision to turn our nation and our lives over to the care of Socialism as we understood it.

4. Made a searching and fearless inventory of all the gold in Fort Knox and found two nuggets worth $325.99.

5. Admitted to voters, to the Federal Reserve, and to another eternal Government bureaucracy being the exact nature of our bankruptcy.

6. Were entirely ready to have the U.S. Mint print infinite money on whatever paper they could get at a discount down at Staples.

7. Humbly asked the voters to give us all their money and title to their vacation homes.

8. Made a list of all persons that still had something squirreled away, and became willing to  send in the National Guard to dig up their backyards and basements.

9. Made direct promises to replace any precious metals or gems found with paper money at ten cents on the dollar, to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would require a cash award of more than $49.98.

10. Continued to search for hidden assets and when we found them promptly seized them.

11. Sought through Universal Health Care and reducing the military to improve our nation until it resembled Great Britain in real power and influence, and confiscated all guns and ammunition we could lay our hands on to keep pesky disagreements with the National Guard on a name-calling basis, praying only for a disarmed, dispirited, depressed and Universally Medicated citizenry and for the power to rule over them.

12. Having had a rebirth of solvency for 72 hours as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to any surviving free societies and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Walter Sobchak May 18, 2019, 8:09 AM

    We are not amused.

  • Richard May 18, 2019, 8:34 AM

    7. Humbly asked the voters to give us all their money and title to their vacation homes.++++++

    Ha ha, that’s a good one, citizen! With every conceivable governmental agency armed to the teeth,-with millions of rounds of ammo- why would we ever do anything “humbly”? In fact what really rings our chimes is to go in, en masse, all kitted out in our TactiCool gear, breaking down your front door and tossing in flash grenades. Then we get to kill your pets and completely humiliate you and your family. And the mostest, bestest part of all that is, there ain’t jack you can do about it. AND. WE. KNOW. THAT. YOU. KNOW. THAT.
    Somewhere along the way, the social contract in which we bestowed power to others, with the explicit understanding that said power would not be turned on those conferring it, became grossly corrupted. As one wag put it: “A nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves.”

  • ghostsniper May 18, 2019, 9:08 AM

    “…the social contract in which we bestowed power to others…”

    That right there.
    That is a human travesty of unimaginable scale.
    And as far as I’m concerned, impossible.
    Thus, undoable.
    It doesn’t include me.

    I have been part of thousands of contracts in which most have been successful to varying degrees. In all cases all parties of said contracts were held accountable in law for upholding their end of the contracts. Without exception. THAT is how contracts work.
    This so called “social contract” violates every rule of contracts and is not a contract at all, not even close.

    “When everything is outlawed everyone becomes an outlaw.”
    Do you feel like Jesse James? Well you should.
    I love the smell of tannerite first thing in the morning, especially when it wrapped around a tyrants neck.

  • Terry May 18, 2019, 10:39 AM

    @ Richard Best comment I have read in a coon’s age right there. For purposes of clarification: “raccoon’s age”.

  • talgus May 18, 2019, 12:20 PM

    took possession of all IRAs and 401Ks for the good of the treasury and the ability to provide safety-nets for all the incoming citizens of other countries.

  • Steve in Greensboro May 18, 2019, 5:59 PM

    We’ve already done step 6. When we issued the $22 trillion in FedGov debt we created the cash. $22 trillion is close enough to “infinite” for government work. Soon enough, that debt will be largely settled by printing money. Paging Rudolf Havenstein. Mr. Havenstein please pick up the white courtesy telephone.