WHEN in the course of human Events, it becomes necessary….
“These are the laws of my administration..”
byVanderleunonJanuary 24, 2021
At a party to celebrate Rufus T. Firefly (Groucho Marx) being made new president of Freedonia, Mrs. Teasdale (Margaret Dumont) launches into this song to ask what his leadership of the country will be like.
[MRS. TEASDALE] For our information
Just for our illustration
Tell us how you intend to run the nation
[FIREFLY] These are the laws of my administration:
No one’s allowed to smoke
Or tell a dirty joke
And whistling is forbidden
[DIPLOMATS] We’re not allowed to tell a dirty joke
Hail, hail Freedonia
[FIREFLY]
If chewing gum is chewed
The chewer is pursued
And in the hoosegow hidden
[DIPLOMATS] If we choose to chew we’ll be pursued
[FIREFLY]
If any form of pleasure is exhibited
Report to me, and it will be prohibited
I’ll put my foot down, so shall it be
This is the land of the free
The last man nearly ruined this place
He didn’t know what to do with it
If you think this country’s bad off now
Just wait till I get through with it
The country’s taxes must be fixed
And I know what to do with it
If you think you’re paying too much now
Just wait till I get through with it
(instrumental break)
I will not stand for anything that’s crooked or unfair
I’m simply on the up and up, so everyone beware
If anyone’s caught taking graft and I don’t get my share
We stand him up against the wall and pop goes the weasel
Ah!
[DIPLOMATS] So everyone beware
Who’s crooked or unfair
If anyone’s caught taking graft unless he gets his share
[FIREFLY]
If any man should come between a husband and his bride
We find our which one she prefers by letting her decide
If she prefers the other man, the husband steps outside
We stand him up against the wall and pop goes the weasel
Ah!
[DIPLOMATS] The husband steps outside
Relinquishes his bride
They stand him up against the wall and take him for a ride
===
This verse was removed from the movie.
The population must increase,
With great rapidity.
We give a couple seven years,
To raise a family.
If, by that time, there is
No branch upon the family tree,
We stand ’em up against the wall,
and Pop goes the Weasel.
It has come to this.
Whatever shall we do, wherever shall we go-
there’s always tomorrow. Tomorrow is another lie.
as long as I’m here: In this or another film there is a two-shot of Marx&Dumont where she cracks.
Casey KlahnJanuary 25, 2021, 9:16 AM
This is the only form of Marxism of which I approve.
ghostsniperJanuary 25, 2021, 10:05 AM
I ignore laws made by criminals.
Kevin PAJanuary 25, 2021, 10:57 AM
There is an entire era of films that seem to have vanished. I’m not sure if these films have been lost due to age and inferior quality of preservation methods or if there is another explanation.
Among the missing; The Marx Bros., Laurel and Hardy – Babes in Toyland / March of the Wooden Soldiers was a Thanksgiving TV standard in the NY Metro area for years, Spanky and Our Gang, The Little Rascals (could it be that Buckwheat is too un-PC for the modern temperament?), W.C. Fields and May West. Those are just the names that come to mind.
VanderleunJanuary 25, 2021, 1:54 PM
Not all gone yet Kevin…
ghostsniperJanuary 26, 2021, 4:30 AM
The teacher asked Buh-weet to stand up and use the word “dictate” in a sentence.
Buh-weet stood up, pondered for a moment and said, “Darlene say my dictate good.”
Kevin in PAJanuary 26, 2021, 5:46 AM
Good stuff, G.
Brings back memories of rainy Saturday afternoons in a long ago childhood.
JackJanuary 26, 2021, 8:09 AM
Ghost…..I’m dying. HI-larious
gwbnycJanuary 26, 2021, 11:38 AM
the rascals- my mother saw them as shorts in the theater when she was teenaged. summer vacation that was my lunchtime- a bowel of campbells soup, a bologna sandwich (wonder bread, bologna, MIRACLE WHIP) and the LR on a noon kid’s show (Capt Penny, ABC WEWS channel 5, Cleveland).
I remember TV not being on all day, barely.
stymie had his own low-down clarinet background music and he knew how to shoot craps.
gwbnycJanuary 26, 2021, 11:40 AM
yeah, I MEANT to use “bowel”…
>8)~
Andrew RJanuary 26, 2021, 12:13 PM
Every time there is a republican in the White House the Democrats refrain is “Whatever it is, I’m against it.” Just like Groucho’s song from ‘Horse Feathers’.
Real World Address for Donations, Mash Notes and Hate Mail
Gerard Van der Leun
1692 MANGROVE AVE
APT 379
Chico, Ca 95926
Green Pants Interior by Klahn
Who Am I? by Carl Sandburg
My head knocks against the stars.
My feet are on the hilltops.
My finger-tips are in the valleys and shores of universal life.
Down in the sounding foam of primal things I reach my hands and play with pebbles of destiny.
I have been to hell and back many times.
I know all about heaven, for I have talked with God.
I dabble in the blood and guts of the terrible.
I know the passionate seizure of beauty
And the marvelous rebellion of man at all signs reading “Keep Off.”
My name is Truth and I am the most elusive captive in the universe.
Duty, Beauty, Liberty, Country, Honor, Family, Faith — Plus a few simple easy to follow rules for guys
Men saw the stars at the edge of the sea
They thought great thoughts about liberty
Poets wrote down words that did fit
Writers wrote books
Thinkers thought about it
Take it where you find it
Can’t leave it alone
You will find a purpose
To carry it on
Mainly when you find it
Your heart will be strong
About it
Many’s the road I have walked upon
Many’s the hour between dusk and dawn
Many’s the time
Many’s the mile
I see it all now
Through the eyes of a child
Take it where you find it
Can’t leave it alone
You will find a purpose
To carry it on
Mainly when you find it
Your heart will be strong
About it
[Chorus]
Lost dreams and found dreams
In America
In America
In America
Lost dreams and found dreams
In America
In America
In America
And close your eyes
Leave it all for a while
Leave the world
And your worries behind
You will build on whatever is real
And wake up each day
To a new waking dream
Take it where you find it
Can’t leave it alone
You will find a purpose
To carry it on
Mainly when you find it
Your heart will be strong
About it
[Chorus]
Change, change come over
Change come over
Talkin’ about a change
Change, change
Change come over, now
Change, change, change come over
I’m gonna walk down the street
Until I see
My shining light
I’m gonna walk down the street
Until I see
My shining light
I’m gonna walk down the street
Until I see
My shining light
I’m gonna walk down the street
Until I see
My shining light
I see my light
See my light
See my shining light
I see my light
See my light
See my shining light
Gerard Van der Leun
Comments on this entry are closed.
Groucho was just genius. Love those old clips.
It has come to this.
Whatever shall we do, wherever shall we go-
there’s always tomorrow. Tomorrow is another lie.
as long as I’m here: In this or another film there is a two-shot of Marx&Dumont where she cracks.
This is the only form of Marxism of which I approve.
I ignore laws made by criminals.
There is an entire era of films that seem to have vanished. I’m not sure if these films have been lost due to age and inferior quality of preservation methods or if there is another explanation.
Among the missing; The Marx Bros., Laurel and Hardy – Babes in Toyland / March of the Wooden Soldiers was a Thanksgiving TV standard in the NY Metro area for years, Spanky and Our Gang, The Little Rascals (could it be that Buckwheat is too un-PC for the modern temperament?), W.C. Fields and May West. Those are just the names that come to mind.
Not all gone yet Kevin…
The teacher asked Buh-weet to stand up and use the word “dictate” in a sentence.
Buh-weet stood up, pondered for a moment and said, “Darlene say my dictate good.”
Good stuff, G.
Brings back memories of rainy Saturday afternoons in a long ago childhood.
Ghost…..I’m dying. HI-larious
the rascals- my mother saw them as shorts in the theater when she was teenaged. summer vacation that was my lunchtime- a bowel of campbells soup, a bologna sandwich (wonder bread, bologna, MIRACLE WHIP) and the LR on a noon kid’s show (Capt Penny, ABC WEWS channel 5, Cleveland).
I remember TV not being on all day, barely.
stymie had his own low-down clarinet background music and he knew how to shoot craps.
yeah, I MEANT to use “bowel”…
>8)~
Every time there is a republican in the White House the Democrats refrain is “Whatever it is, I’m against it.” Just like Groucho’s song from ‘Horse Feathers’.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4v3etuIw-aM