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The Code of the West vs the Code of the Left

“A man’s got to have a code, a creed to live by, no matter his job.” — John Wayne

Once upon a time, there was “The Code of the West.” That was long ago, far away and in another country. In the US today “The Code of the Left” seems to prevail in a large swath of the population. I’ve compared the two here.

WEST * Never shoot an unarmed or unwarned enemy. This was also known as “the rattlesnake code”: always warn before you strike. However, if a man was being stalked, this could be ignored.

LEFT * Always smear a blameless or dangerous political enemy. Lying and innuendo are approved and rewarded. Be the rattlesnake. Unless the man is stalking the same office you are. In that case smear early and smear often. Lie big and lie long.

* Don’t inquire into a person’s past. Take the measure of a man for what he is today.

* There are no “people,” only “social policies.” Don’t inquire into a social policy’s past or that policy’s likely consequences for the future. Take the measure of a policy by how closely it maps to the Socialist Utopia that has already killed and crippled hundreds of millions of people. Dream big nightmares.

* Never steal another man’s horse. A horse thief pays with his life.

* Always look to steal another man’s money with a “tax.” Always ask your fellow citizen to reach for his wallet. All tax thieves are rewarded with a fat government pension and fatter health plan.

* Respect the land and the environment by not smoking in hazardous fire areas, disfiguring rocks, trees, or other natural areas.

* Respect the small, endless fears of everyone in the environment by not smoking anywhere at anytime unless it is copious amounts of really righteous dope. Remember the first commandment of the Leftist: “Tobacco and Fox News bad. Dope and the New York Times good.” Seek to have laws passed enabling everyone to smoke as much dope as they want. Then they will be too stoned to see through your insane plans. They will even think that more taxes on the rich means higher government revenues. Praise those who are disfiguring rocks, walls, and buildings with graffiti as “artistes.” Return forests and farmland to their natural state — especially if you can get them cheap via takings or public domain. Let the surviving population live like the sheep they are and eat grass.

* Defend yourself whenever necessary.

* Do not defend yourself or the country under any circumstances. Killers are just grown-up kids who were abused. Terrorists are just people who haven’t had their issues listened to with compassion. Make sure nobody else can defend themselves. Use only diplomacy to defend your country. Armies are raised only to place sandbags around towns about to be flooded for the fifth time. When that happens use government money to enable the fools who built them to rebuild them.

* Look out for your own.

* Look out, first, last and always, for any other people numerous enough to declare themselves an oppressed group (The minimum number is 3) — except if the group is an actual family, in which case seek to disband it by any means necessary.

* Remove your guns before sitting at the dining table.

* Remove guns. Anytime, anywhere, any reason. The Second Amendment is a misprint. Erase it in the original. Burn all copies. Beat all the guns into cast-iron dual-control dildos and demo on Ellen. Daily.

* Never order anything weaker than whiskey.

* Never order anything stronger than a decaf double latte made with soy milk. Yes, that drink will shrink your testicles and/or ovaries to the size of peas, but you weren’t using them anyway. Make it a double.

 * Always fill your whiskey glass to the brim.

* Always buy and carry the really big bottle of Fuji mineral water everywhere so people can know that while you object to Big Oil making windfall profits on $3.00 a gallon gasoline, you have no problem with windfall profits on $10 a gallon bottled water.

* A Cowboy is pleasant even when out of sorts. Complaining is what quitters do, and Cowboys hate quitters.

* A Leftist is mean and bitter even when in office or post-orgasmic stupor. Complaining and turning small complaints into laws is what Leftists at all levels do. Leftists love making new laws from old whines.

 * Be hospitable to strangers. Anyone who wanders in, including an enemy, is welcome at the dinner table. The same was true for riders who joined Cowboys on the range.

* Be hospitable to those who “wander” into your country illegally. Anyone who “wanders” into the United States, including an enemy, is welcome at the welfare table. This is especially true for those who will do the voting sane Americans won’t – voting for you.

* Real Cowboys are modest. A braggart who is “all gurgle and no guts” is not tolerated.

* Real Leftists are the first to tell you what wonderful human beings they are. A Leftist who is “all gurgle and no guts” can be easily nominated for high office. See “Waters, Maxine.”

* Consideration for others is central to the code, such as: Don’t stir up dust around the chuck-wagon, don’t wake up the wrong man for herd duty, etc.

* Being inconsiderate of personal God-given liberty is central to the code of the Left. There is no God, there is only the Party and the dream of a socialist utopia. Always stir up dust and regulations around the free market — it can and does donate money to your opponents. Don’t wake up those who depend on government hand-outs for everything. Promise more and keep them comatose.

* Honesty is absolute – your word is your bond, a handshake is more binding than a contract.

* Lies are your friend. Never let facts obfuscate falsehoods. Your word is only good for those your are speaking to at the time you are speaking. After you’ve promised something, forget about it. A handshake and a contract are simply lies waiting for laws to make them inoperative. If caught in a lie and under oath remember to always ask what the meaning of “is” is.

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Richard September 28, 2018, 9:20 AM

    Your word is your bond.
    This was one of the earliest things my father stressed to me. If a man cannot be believed and trusted, he is not a man. Among the other valuable lessons he imparted was, “there’s no such thing as a free lunch.” That one has also served me quite well.

  • Marica September 28, 2018, 9:26 AM

    * Remove your guns before sitting at the dining table.
    *… Anyone who wanders in… is welcome at the dinner table.

    Also— remove all dinner tables. Too conducive to civililized behavior.

  • Wilbur Hassenfus September 28, 2018, 10:07 AM

    I think the code of the left is simpler than that: “Whatever grabs more money and power for the left, is good”.

    “Justice” == “more for us”
    “Fairness” == “more for us”
    “Science” == “more for us”
    “Truth” == “more for us”

    Whatever it is, if it doesn’t equal more for them, it isn’t justice, it isn’t democracy, it isn’t truth, etc.

    Whenever “more money/power for us” conflicts with any of the values they claim to hold dear, they invariably go for the money and power. They may bother blurting an ad hoc “nuanced” excuse for why the “exception” really isn’t an exception, and they’ll sincerely believe it — even though it will make little sense, and it will hilariously contradict both the previous excuse and the next one.

    Down to the littlest useful idiot who actually receives negative benefit from all that power and money, that’s their revealed preference.

  • ghostsniper September 28, 2018, 10:47 AM

    Nobody gets to set boundaries for me.
    My wife gets a little bit of leeway in that regard but she knows where that line is.
    It’s called, “minding your own fucking business”.
    Or else you get punched in the face.

    Went to the big city of Bloomington the other day to get the coolant flushed in my Blazer.
    What a fucked up city.
    While waiting 3 20 something males came in to get stuff done.
    There is a template here.
    All were sickly skinny, had very tight britches on, close cropped facial and head hair, had large canvas shopping bags draped over their shoulder, phone in the hand, soft unassertive talkers, pale baby soft skin, bitch shoes with them little barely noticeable socks. One punch and all would be killed.

    Went to Wendys after I left there, for the first time in forever.
    Walked up to the counter and the presumably female thing at the register had multiple earings, a nose ring, and tats up and down the arms. I did 2 right faces and hauled ass. Eating in that dive is an invitation to a life threatening ailment. Bloomington is a college town and all the retardedness that goes with it. I go there rarely and the time between trips gets longer each time. So I went home, made a sando, and set on the porch and watched the hummingbirds.

    There’s something seriously wrong with this country but I rarely see it with my own eyes, mostly just thru the pixels on my dual 32″ monitors. I have the luxury, for now, of hitting the button on the remote and all of it recedes back into the little circus cage I keep it in. But I am ever mindful that that luxury can change at anytime so there is a fleet of hardware lined up over there and it is ready to go into business at anytime. This is the last place in the world those skinny asses should try to infiltrate because if they do try it will indeed be the last place. See Line 1 above.

  • Roger B Watts September 28, 2018, 3:33 PM

    The modern left are no more than Bushwhackers, Drygulchers. backshooters, and other forms of belly slithering low lifes. Hanging is too good for them.

  • enn ess May 3, 2021, 10:48 AM

    I have always tried to live by “the Code of The West” as it were. Never lie! If you screw something up or make a mistake, Admit it before being confronted by its outcome. Never blame someone else for your faults, it was your choice and yours alone. Admit it, never apologize, own it.
    And there are numerous more that gets one through life, but sadly, fewer and fewer are being practiced today, And it shows…..

  • Sam L. May 3, 2021, 10:48 AM

    Roger, hangin’ might be too good for them, but, HEY, it’s good enough… Tree, rope, some assembly required.

  • EX-Californian Pete May 3, 2021, 10:56 AM

    Two of the best sayings I’ve heard in “old west” movies-

    John Wayne- “Life is hard, it’s even harder when you’re stupid.”
    Unknown- “You wanna fight me? I make an ordinary fight look like a prayer meetin’.”

    And one honorable mention- “Nobody ever drowned himself in his own sweat.”

  • Kevin in PA May 3, 2021, 11:46 AM

    Though 1988 isn’t what we consider the “old West”, Jeff Cooper in his book titled – To Ride, Shoot Straight and Speak the Truth, outlined much of the ethos of the “old West”.
    It’s a damn shame this nation has fallen so far.

  • robert kendall May 3, 2021, 12:14 PM

    My favorite “cowboy” quote:
    the next time you git to thinkin you’re important, try ordering someone else’s dog around.

  • Dirk May 3, 2021, 1:14 PM

    Honorable men, just have a way about themselves, confidence, quick wit, ability to laugh at themselves. I’m honored, I live in cowboy country, where many men still make their living on the backs of a fine horse. Here, these men’s word is always honored!

    Here I once heard a cowboy actually say this, “ Bold words for a one eyed fat man!” Truthfully he was talking to his father. His pop laughed harder then us young bucks.

    Here, we don’t give a shit what the left says or does. As I often say,,,, nothing has changed on our mountain.

  • PA Cat May 3, 2021, 1:19 PM

    Gene Autry drew up a list of ten principles that he called the Cowboy Code in the late 1940s:
    1) The Cowboy must never shoot first, hit a smaller man, or take unfair advantage.
    2) He must never go back on his word, or a trust confided in him.
    3) He must always tell the truth.
    4) He must be gentle with children, the elderly, and animals.
    5) He must not advocate or possess racially or religiously intolerant ideas.
    6) He must help people in distress.
    7) He must be a good worker.
    8) He must keep himself clean in thought, speech, action, and personal habits.
    9) He must respect women, parents, and his nation’s laws.
    10) The Cowboy is a patriot.

    Apropos of #10, Sgt. Autry served as a pilot in what was then the Army Air Force in WWII, flying cargo planes over the “Hump” in the China-Burma-India theater from 1942 through 1945.

    I don’t need to spell out what the Code of the Left would do to the Cowboy Code.

  • Fletcher Christian May 3, 2021, 2:19 PM

    That business about floods apply to fires as well?

  • Casey Klahn May 3, 2021, 4:23 PM

    I live in the rural West, and the Code of the West (or Saddle) is the gold standard. There will come a time of lawlessness, soon enough. The COTW is what we’ll rely on – governments and laws will either be corrupt or too far away.

    Note to self: stock up on Whiskey. Trading purposes you know.

  • Snakepit Kansas May 3, 2021, 7:50 PM

    Wife wanted to know why I was laughing out loud. I told her Ghost said “bitch shoes”.

  • Lance de Boyle May 3, 2021, 8:38 PM

    Code of the West. Keep yur hands outa the other fella’s shorts.

    Code of the Left. Always have your ungloved hand firmly wrapped around the other fella’s junk. If he’s anything like you, he’s a commie fag bastard. This is the code of the heft.

    Code of the West. If you see a fella all beaten down and layin’ against the wall, tell yourself, “Hey, Ned, that could be me. I’ll give this guy a hand up.”

    Code of the Left. If you see a fella all beaten down and layin’ against the wall, tell yourself, “Fuck him! I got mine. Probably voted for Trump.” Then kick him in the balls and steal his shoes.

    Code of the West. If you see a Perfesser of Deaducation mincing (or possibly prancing) along the street, say, “Thanks for helping to destroy our society.” Then shove your M4 bayonet up his ass and exit stage left.

    Code of the Left. Not to worry. You won’t see a Perfesser of Deaducation mincing (or possibly prancing) along the street. They are all in collitch of deaductation meetings, discussing white privilege, the patriarchy, toxic masculinity, and racial oppression, instead of going to the schools and teaching kids to read. Which, it turns out, is fine, because they couldn’t teach a dog to crap in the yard.

    Code of the West. When you see a young mother carrying her precious angel baby in the park, tip your hat, say, “Howdy. Ma’am. That’s about the finest baby I’ve every had the pleasure to see. Bless you and yours.”

    Code of the Left. When you see a young mother carrying her precious angel baby in the park, slice its dick off and sell it to a movie star who can rub it all over her face.

    Code of the West. When you see a demonic leftist approaching a mother and baby, shove your M4 bayonet up under his chin and smack the butt upwards till the point comes through his hat. Tip your hat and say, “Jist takin’care o’ bidness, Ma’am.”

    Teach any kid to read with “Teach your child to read in 100 easy lessons.” zero to second grade level in 50 hours.

    [5star]

  • brinster May 4, 2021, 5:08 AM

    The many of us who live in the rural enclaves of this country aren’t touched much by the douchebags in DC, except, of course, for that bit about taxation. For the most part, we mind our own damn business and live our lives. That’s changing though, with the left believing “we mind your damn business,” and you’ll live the way we tell you to. There might be a little bit of resistance to that, however. Gonna be hell cleaning up all that blood. NSA, in case you’re listening (I know you are), I ain’t gettin’ the damn shot. Pro choice, not anti-vax.

  • James ONeil May 4, 2021, 12:49 PM

    The Alaskan sourdoughs had a code similar to the cowboys, much of it still in effect beyond the pavement.

    A couple of it’s features; Snowbound lost or hungry, use any cabin, stove food, just replace or compensate for what you used. One that’s a bit odd for an outsider, don’t kill a porcupine, as they’re slow easy to kill, might save someone’s life if lost or hungry.