“A man’s got to have a code, a creed to live by, no matter his job.” — John Wayne
Once upon a time, there was “The Code of the West.” That was long ago, far away and in another country. In the US today “The Code of the Left” seems to prevail in a large swath of the population. I’ve compared the two here.
WEST * Never shoot an unarmed or unwarned enemy. This was also known as “the rattlesnake code”: always warn before you strike. However, if a man was being stalked, this could be ignored.
LEFT * Always smear a blameless or dangerous political enemy. Lying and innuendo are approved and rewarded. Be the rattlesnake. Unless the man is stalking the same office you are. In that case smear early and smear often. Lie big and lie long.
* Don’t inquire into a person’s past. Take the measure of a man for what he is today.
* There are no “people,” only “social policies.” Don’t inquire into a social policy’s past or that policy’s likely consequences for the future. Take the measure of a policy by how closely it maps to the Socialist Utopia that has already killed and crippled hundreds of millions of people. Dream big nightmares.
* Never steal another man’s horse. A horse thief pays with his life.
* Always look to steal another man’s money with a “tax.” Always ask your fellow citizen to reach for his wallet. All tax thieves are rewarded with a fat government pension and fatter health plan.
* Respect the land and the environment by not smoking in hazardous fire areas, disfiguring rocks, trees, or other natural areas.
* Respect the small, endless fears of everyone in the environment by not smoking anywhere at anytime unless it is copious amounts of really righteous dope. Remember the first commandment of the Leftist: “Tobacco and Fox News bad. Dope and the New York Times good.” Seek to have laws passed enabling everyone to smoke as much dope as they want. Then they will be too stoned to see through your insane plans. They will even think that more taxes on the rich means higher government revenues. Praise those who are disfiguring rocks, walls, and buildings with graffiti as “artistes.” Return forests and farmland to their natural state — especially if you can get them cheap via takings or public domain. Let the surviving population live like the sheep they are and eat grass.
* Defend yourself whenever necessary.
* Do not defend yourself or the country under any circumstances. Killers are just grown-up kids who were abused. Terrorists are just people who haven’t had their issues listened to with compassion. Make sure nobody else can defend themselves. Use only diplomacy to defend your country. Armies are raised only to place sandbags around towns about to be flooded for the fifth time. When that happens use government money to enable the fools who built them to rebuild them.
* Look out for your own.
* Look out, first, last and always, for any other people numerous enough to declare themselves an oppressed group (The minimum number is 3) — except if the group is an actual family, in which case seek to disband it by any means necessary.
* Remove your guns before sitting at the dining table.
* Remove guns. Anytime, anywhere, any reason. The Second Amendment is a misprint. Erase it in the original. Burn all copies. Beat all the guns into cast-iron dual-control dildos and demo on Ellen. Daily.
* Never order anything weaker than whiskey.
* Never order anything stronger than a decaf double latte made with soy milk. Yes, that drink will shrink your testicles and/or ovaries to the size of peas, but you weren’t using them anyway. Make it a double.
* Always fill your whiskey glass to the brim.
* Always buy and carry the really big bottle of Fuji mineral water everywhere so people can know that while you object to Big Oil making windfall profits on $3.00 a gallon gasoline, you have no problem with windfall profits on $10 a gallon bottled water.
* A Cowboy is pleasant even when out of sorts. Complaining is what quitters do, and Cowboys hate quitters.
* A Leftist is mean and bitter even when in office or post-orgasmic stupor. Complaining and turning small complaints into laws is what Leftists at all levels do. Leftists love making new laws from old whines.
* Be hospitable to strangers. Anyone who wanders in, including an enemy, is welcome at the dinner table. The same was true for riders who joined Cowboys on the range.
* Be hospitable to those who “wander” into your country illegally. Anyone who “wanders” into the United States, including an enemy, is welcome at the welfare table. This is especially true for those who will do the voting sane Americans won’t – voting for you.
* Real Cowboys are modest. A braggart who is “all gurgle and no guts” is not tolerated.
* Real Leftists are the first to tell you what wonderful human beings they are. A Leftist who is “all gurgle and no guts” can be easily nominated for high office. See “Waters, Maxine.”
* Consideration for others is central to the code, such as: Don’t stir up dust around the chuck-wagon, don’t wake up the wrong man for herd duty, etc.
* Being inconsiderate of personal God-given liberty is central to the code of the Left. There is no God, there is only the Party and the dream of a socialist utopia. Always stir up dust and regulations around the free market — it can and does donate money to your opponents. Don’t wake up those who depend on government hand-outs for everything. Promise more and keep them comatose.
* Honesty is absolute – your word is your bond, a handshake is more binding than a contract.
* Lies are your friend. Never let facts obfuscate falsehoods. Your word is only good for those your are speaking to at the time you are speaking. After you’ve promised something, forget about it. A handshake and a contract are simply lies waiting for laws to make them inoperative. If caught in a lie and under oath remember to always ask what the meaning of “is” is.