WHEN in the course of human Events, it becomes necessary….
When the Rulers are not sufficiently afraid of the People you can hear the guillotine’s timbers being milled
byVanderleunonAugust 13, 2020
The Thing currently ruling Chicago
The tumbril creaks and rumbles
Upon the road of Slate,
Retracing rutted Years of Sand
Whose distance Storms debate.
Its passengers stand fixed as stone
While faces cheer from Snow.
The Blade awaits its midday meal,
When Above becomes Below.
Innovations carved from clouds
Give despair and dance New measures.
The Blade reflects its evening meal
When kings slake peasants’ pleasures.
Arrived at Hope they gaze towards mist
Where granite horses roam.
Their schedules as fixed as Dark.
Their future — White as bone.
The head within the basket sees
Vast Parliaments of Sky.
Its ears hear but the fading surf
Where the past lost years reply.
** The Ancien Régime was the monarchic, aristocratic, social and political system established in the Kingdom of France from approximately the 15th century until the latter part of the 18th century (“early modern France”) under the late Valois and Bourbon dynasties. The term is occasionally used to refer to the similar feudal social and political order of the time elsewhere in Europe. The administrative and social structures of the Ancien Régime were the result of years of state-building, legislative acts (like the Ordinance of Villers-Cotterêts), internal conflicts and civil wars, but they remained a confusing patchwork of local privilege and historic differences until the French Revolution ended the system.
It took the French aristocrats 300 years to wreck their good deal. The Dems have wrecked theirs in 50 or less. And, they just keep at it.
Dr. JayOctober 5, 2018, 10:12 AM
I agree with everything you say, but I would attack to the death your right to say it.
RichardOctober 5, 2018, 10:31 AM
Evidently, every epoch must have its bloodletting.
DrTedNelsonOctober 5, 2018, 12:24 PM
The numbers remind me of a patent application.
TerryOctober 5, 2018, 12:33 PM
The French ruling class was totally unprepared to even imagine that their gluttony would result in them being hung from lamp posts or beheaded. The American ruling class was totally unprepared . . . .
Rev.HoagieOctober 5, 2018, 12:46 PM
And their martyrs.
ghostsniperOctober 5, 2018, 1:45 PM
Kill em all. They have violated their right to live peacefully with others.
EskymanOctober 5, 2018, 3:17 PM
Now I have some new entries on my shopping list: tumbrils, baskets, and a good guillotine. I reckon a used one will do, but come to think of it- maybe I should budget for a new one?
After all, it’s likely to get a fair bit of use! Just in California alone there are any number of politicians that would be much improved if they were shortened by a head!
JackOctober 6, 2018, 3:08 PM
I’m old but I’ll help cuff ’em and load ’em on the wagon and I’ll work for free, too. There will be much to do but I’ll help anyway I can, including spreading fresh sawdust to soak up the mess. Those of my fellows who can lift the blade can use my honing oil, my file and my rasp to keep it good and sharp, too.
Git’r Done!!!
Howard NelsonOctober 7, 2018, 5:54 AM
The promoters of sleaze, slime, and defamation have received a well-deserved hit. May those Dweller
Dung Beetles, Democraps, marinate in their self-made szzt.
When I see some of my liberal acquaintances say they would like to see Trump dead (and mean it) I wonder if there is any hope for our country. When I see people who are presumably on the same side of the issues as I am take such pleasure in the idea of bloody mass killing hope seems to have run out on restoring our republic. Just remember how the French revolution turned out.
StargazerAugust 13, 2020, 1:49 PM
The “thing” is called Groot! (Look it up.)
PA CatAugust 13, 2020, 1:54 PM
Here is a 45-minute documentary on the history of the French executioner in general (whose social status was peculiar, to put it mildly) and the role of the guillotine in particular. Ironically, the initial appeal of the “national razor” or the “widow” (the informal French term for the instrument) is that it did away with class distinctions in executions; prior to the French Revolution, execution by beheading (by ax or sword) was a privilege reserved to the nobility; the “little people” were put to death by burning, hanging, or being broken on the wheel. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0gn4mUET1A&ab_channel=Dr.Jamie
The Fallbeil was used to execute criminals in West Germany until 1949, and in the former East Germany until 1968. Here is a (mercifully short) video about the German version of the guillotine: narration is in German but it has translation-English subtitles. As one might expect, the German version is more carefully engineered than the French, the upper frame being made largely of metal rather than wood. The narrator uses a small-scale model to show how the thing worked: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2uOzWaP3fx8&ab_channel=MagicaX
I’ll leave it to Gerard’s readers to decide whether the French or German version would be preferable in dealing with our contemporary aristos.
sharksauceAugust 13, 2020, 1:58 PM
I hate making fun of that Chicago mayor person for her appearance. If she had a single mote of character or decency I’d likely fight this post. But she doesn’t, and she stinks, and God help us all.
ghostsniperAugust 13, 2020, 2:01 PM
@Charles, you seem to underestimate what you’re up against.
I believe you’ll come around in the coming few months.
DrTedNelsonAugust 13, 2020, 2:16 PM
After the past few months, I’m thinking that the guillotine is overdue. I used to think ghost was extreme, but I’m on the same page now.
Good one, Skorpion – who knew Lovecraft wasn’t just making things up?
TerryAugust 13, 2020, 6:34 PM
The governor of this state is calling a special session of the legislature to convene.
The reason is for the passage of a law that gives him immunity from prosecution for the damages (huge here) of the chinaman virus lock-down and shutting down “non-essential” private sector business operations. There are several lawsuits brewing to sue the bastard for financial loss.
This governor needs to get hung from a lamp post and gutted like a giant carp. Then his severed head should be piked. The damage he has done to this state is beyond belief. He walks around with a mask hanging from one ear, wearing a smirk smile. All those near this creep are under orders to wear a mask at all times.
VanderleunAugust 13, 2020, 6:38 PM
Very very good PA cat. I’ve been gathering some grusome information as well and will append forthwith, PA Cat, Sir.
Lance de BoyleAugust 13, 2020, 7:00 PM
Introducing the Ronco Guillotine, or Head Master!
Easy to assemble in five (“Only five?” Yup, just five, neighbor.) easy steps.
1. Tie the (commie bastard, lying bitch, traitor, leftist shit ball) to the Bench of That’s All Folks. (included).
2. Say, “Welp, you miserable colon polyp, here’s where WE have our say. YOU won’t have ANY say, though, because you will be, as they say, out of breath.”
Or, something more concise, such as “Ha Ha. Fuck off and die.”
3. Pull Mr. Rope to the top, and say, “Here comes Missus Blade, you bastard.”
4. Let go of the rope, and, as you do, execute what they call a ‘jete’ the hell 0ut of here.’
5. Retrieve the head from the Basket of Ha Ha on You. Say something kind to The Head. For example, “How’s it going?”
Fun for the whole family.
“Gee, Dad, that guy was screaming in fear.”
“Yes, he was, son. We call that the ‘Uh oh, I’m fucked’ scream. That’s what they get, my boy. Eventually, as T. Jefferson wrote, after a long train of abuses, we have had enough, and our instinct for revenge takes hold, and it’s Katy bar the door.”
“Why a door, Pop?”
“No one knows, son. It’s just something that Katy likes to bar, I guess.”
$29.95
See our other products for Thermidor.
The Ronco Wheel of Fun. See how many bones you can break in 30 seconds. Have contests with friends.
“Wow, did you hear her back snap?”
“Sure did, Ned. Melodic.”
The Ronco Hook ‘Em and Drag ‘Em Down the Road Fun Pack. Comes with chain, trailer hitch, a six pack of tarpon hooks, and a kazoo—to blow as the guest of honor glides along the Avenue of You Don’t Look Well to Me.
The Ronco My Little Trebuchet.
A fully functional trebuchet.
Easy to install in the town square, or really any place where you can give commie scum a free ride.
Just…
1, Load the Basket of Bye Bye.
2. Wind the Surgical Tubing of See Ya’Later, Chump, with the handy winch.
3. Aim at a nearby concrete wall.
4. Pull the trigger.
Be prepared to chuckle as the guest of honor makes a sudden stop.
AnonymousAugust 13, 2020, 11:45 PM
And to think that I got dog-piled in a previous thread for mentioning “public executions” and here you are openly advocating it. Guess I’m just one step ahead of you.
Auntie AnalogueAugust 14, 2020, 6:19 AM
Guillotine? Fallbein? Just goes to show: there’s more than one way to get a head.
Steve in GreensboroAugust 14, 2020, 7:38 AM
History doesn’t repeat itself, but it rhymes. Since we are going with the French Revolution analogies, the part of that disaster that is most likely to be repeated is “The War in the Vendee” where the Ruling Class will exterminate good Americans.
Annie RoseAugust 14, 2020, 8:55 AM
Chicago has a whole Great Lake nearby to find a new Pisces for our next mayor. It’s filled with invasive zebra muscles and PCPs that gives us a unique tasting drinking water. The denizens of Chicago proudly beat their chests and sing the praises of all manner of fish folk. None of my fellow suburbanites speak a word of the atrocities taking place in a Chicago. The local news downplays, distorts, or ignores it. We must get news of violence and mayhem from outside news sources. Sheriff Lori will most likely be sacrificed in the next election, but have no doubt that Chicagoans will elect someone equally incompetent and reprehensible as she, if not even worse. It’s the Chicago way. Chicagoans will also continue to elect corrupt, incompetent governors in their thirst to destroy Illinois and drive away business and jobs.
“hope seems to have run out on restoring our republic.” Charles, the republic endured until 1861, 72 years. When you dream of restoring this inverted relic you are playing their game. 155 years says it’s a losing game. Aristotle wrote of what can happen within the form, when “one thing takes the place of another, so that the ancient laws will remain, while the power will be in the hands of those who have brought about revolution in the state.” Even words are flipped to serve the new masters. Prejudice, to pre-judge, and discrimination, to be discriminate, were necessary and esteemed terms in the 18th century when mishap and death were around the corner.
One does not restore a termite ridden stucture. It is razed and rebuilt in a stronger form. Which is not centralized.
Lance de BoyleAugust 14, 2020, 12:11 PM
Yes, Anonymous, I, along with my wife, Lucretia Van Domme…..
“Coming Dear….. Oh, nothing of which You would not approve. Just maintaining sanity with the good people at Van der Leun’s Hideaway Bar, Grill, and Strip Emporium.”…
….built on the solid foundation of public execution, that you so sagely provided.
Howsomever, there CAN also be private executions.
For example, see the ad in your local paper for
Ronco’s My Little Swirl Job of Death Toilet.
Comes with weighed toilet seat to calm the customer before the entertainment begins.
Or the Ronco Electric Garage Door Head Tenderizer.
Comes with Ronco’s Exclusive Repeated Bashing Feature, along an audio of Curly Joe saying “Gnyuck gnyuck” with each blow.
“Really?”
Oh, hell yes.
“Coming Dear…. You want to do what?!… Well, okie dokie.”
Fletcher ChristianAugust 14, 2020, 2:03 PM
Add the banksters that caused the latest global recession (before the virus) to the list. I think crucifixion ought to be revived for that particular class of parasite.
bilejonesAugust 14, 2020, 4:35 PM
Woodchipper.
Lance de BoyleAugust 14, 2020, 4:49 PM
Ronco has JUST what you need, Mr. Christian!
“Hey, doesn’t this guy have a job?”
I do, but was on administrative leave for eight months while Human Resources (deal-souled witch prickers) decide if they can get rid of me based on 6 idiotic allegations made by ONE student out of 23 (“He locked us in the classroom”–impossible to do. “He threw clothes at us!” What in the f’ing h!?? What would THAT look like? Pure lunacy.), the rest of whom wrote that I am the best teacher they ever had, the only one who taught them anything useful, along with a LOT of XOXO’s
But once a female harpy says you did something, even if it did not bother her or anyone else, Title IX considers it ‘sex discrimination,’ ‘harassment,’ and a ‘pervasive hostile environment,’ and you are well and truly f&^ked, unless, like me, you tell them that you will sue them in a way that will make Mike Adams (may he rest in peace) seem like a softy.
Cussing helped a little. I told HR that my Dean is “making shit up. He doesn’t like me because I disagree with his idiot ideas about how to teach inner city kids. I don’t have to do what he wants. Nor do I have to show him respect. He’s not my Company Commander.”
They dropped the whole thing last week.
They will run out of customers by continuing to charge 20 grand a year for 8 online courses, when students they can get much better teachers at community colleges, for 300 bucks a course.
NEW PRODUCT.
Ronco introduces the ** NEW ** Every Kids’ Roman Crucifixion Kit.
Comes compete with your own
1. Hill of Golgatha. March those bastards up the hill as you and neighborhood kids whip the shit out of ’em with bicycle inner tubes, while yelling, “Thought you’d f^%k us over forever, did you? Well, Ha ha, and I mean it to sting.”
2. Four full-sized Roman soldiers. [Plastic.] Not for human consumption, but you might could use the plastic for some other purpose, such as wrapping fish.
3. An 8 x 6 cross made of real artificial wood. Insert lower limb into conveniently placed hole. [Don’t try your usual frail attempt at a f^%ked up pun about holes. We already thought of it and rejected it as clever but stupid.)
4. Hoist the guest onto the patented Perch of This is Going to Hurt REAL Bad, You Asshole. Attach the bastard’s wrists and ankles to the cross with handy twist ties.
5. Make insulting comments, like, “Hey, you hanging around here again!?” Or, “Hey, your shorts are falling down. Gross!”
* This is not meant to insult our Lord and Savior. We refer only to the Roman pre-Christian hobby of Crucifixion.
HumdeedeeAugust 15, 2020, 8:11 AM
Lance…you never fail to bring guffaws and chuckles issuing from deep within my belly and throat when I read your clever sarcasm. Glad to know, but not at all surprised, that you stood up to those bullies and as bullies do, left them cowering in abject capitulation. I don’t know how anyone with a brain, a soul and a moral foundation can tolerate today’s teaching environment, but I applaud your tenacity, persistence and courage. More than ever it needs strong men like you.
Real World Address for Donations, Mash Notes and Hate Mail
Gerard Van der Leun
1692 MANGROVE AVE
APT 379
Chico, Ca 95926
Green Pants Interior by Klahn
Who Am I? by Carl Sandburg
My head knocks against the stars.
My feet are on the hilltops.
My finger-tips are in the valleys and shores of universal life.
Down in the sounding foam of primal things I reach my hands and play with pebbles of destiny.
I have been to hell and back many times.
I know all about heaven, for I have talked with God.
I dabble in the blood and guts of the terrible.
I know the passionate seizure of beauty
And the marvelous rebellion of man at all signs reading “Keep Off.”
My name is Truth and I am the most elusive captive in the universe.
Duty, Beauty, Liberty, Country, Honor, Family, Faith — Plus a few simple easy to follow rules for guys
Men saw the stars at the edge of the sea
They thought great thoughts about liberty
Poets wrote down words that did fit
Writers wrote books
Thinkers thought about it
Take it where you find it
Can’t leave it alone
You will find a purpose
To carry it on
Mainly when you find it
Your heart will be strong
About it
Many’s the road I have walked upon
Many’s the hour between dusk and dawn
Many’s the time
Many’s the mile
I see it all now
Through the eyes of a child
Take it where you find it
Can’t leave it alone
You will find a purpose
To carry it on
Mainly when you find it
Your heart will be strong
About it
[Chorus]
Lost dreams and found dreams
In America
In America
In America
Lost dreams and found dreams
In America
In America
In America
And close your eyes
Leave it all for a while
Leave the world
And your worries behind
You will build on whatever is real
And wake up each day
To a new waking dream
Take it where you find it
Can’t leave it alone
You will find a purpose
To carry it on
Mainly when you find it
Your heart will be strong
About it
[Chorus]
Change, change come over
Change come over
Talkin’ about a change
Change, change
Change come over, now
Change, change, change come over
I’m gonna walk down the street
Until I see
My shining light
I’m gonna walk down the street
Until I see
My shining light
I’m gonna walk down the street
Until I see
My shining light
I’m gonna walk down the street
Until I see
My shining light
I see my light
See my light
See my shining light
I see my light
See my light
See my shining light
Gerard Van der Leun
Comments on this entry are closed.
It took the French aristocrats 300 years to wreck their good deal. The Dems have wrecked theirs in 50 or less. And, they just keep at it.
I agree with everything you say, but I would attack to the death your right to say it.
Evidently, every epoch must have its bloodletting.
The numbers remind me of a patent application.
The French ruling class was totally unprepared to even imagine that their gluttony would result in them being hung from lamp posts or beheaded. The American ruling class was totally unprepared . . . .
And their martyrs.
Kill em all. They have violated their right to live peacefully with others.
Now I have some new entries on my shopping list: tumbrils, baskets, and a good guillotine. I reckon a used one will do, but come to think of it- maybe I should budget for a new one?
After all, it’s likely to get a fair bit of use! Just in California alone there are any number of politicians that would be much improved if they were shortened by a head!
I’m old but I’ll help cuff ’em and load ’em on the wagon and I’ll work for free, too. There will be much to do but I’ll help anyway I can, including spreading fresh sawdust to soak up the mess. Those of my fellows who can lift the blade can use my honing oil, my file and my rasp to keep it good and sharp, too.
Git’r Done!!!
The promoters of sleaze, slime, and defamation have received a well-deserved hit. May those Dweller
Dung Beetles, Democraps, marinate in their self-made szzt.
It’ll be a long time before Chicago elects another pisces.
Build your own Guillotine!
http://boisdejustice.com
When I see some of my liberal acquaintances say they would like to see Trump dead (and mean it) I wonder if there is any hope for our country. When I see people who are presumably on the same side of the issues as I am take such pleasure in the idea of bloody mass killing hope seems to have run out on restoring our republic. Just remember how the French revolution turned out.
The “thing” is called Groot! (Look it up.)
Here is a 45-minute documentary on the history of the French executioner in general (whose social status was peculiar, to put it mildly) and the role of the guillotine in particular. Ironically, the initial appeal of the “national razor” or the “widow” (the informal French term for the instrument) is that it did away with class distinctions in executions; prior to the French Revolution, execution by beheading (by ax or sword) was a privilege reserved to the nobility; the “little people” were put to death by burning, hanging, or being broken on the wheel.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0gn4mUET1A&ab_channel=Dr.Jamie
And although the guillotine is usually associated with the French Revolution, its use was revived in Nazi Germany, where as many as 16,000 people were executed by das Fallbeil (the German name for the contraption) after 1936.
https://www.warhistoryonline.com/war-articles/16000-people-killed-by-nazis-during-wwii-by-guillotine.html
The Fallbeil was used to execute criminals in West Germany until 1949, and in the former East Germany until 1968. Here is a (mercifully short) video about the German version of the guillotine: narration is in German but it has translation-English subtitles. As one might expect, the German version is more carefully engineered than the French, the upper frame being made largely of metal rather than wood. The narrator uses a small-scale model to show how the thing worked:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2uOzWaP3fx8&ab_channel=MagicaX
I’ll leave it to Gerard’s readers to decide whether the French or German version would be preferable in dealing with our contemporary aristos.
I hate making fun of that Chicago mayor person for her appearance. If she had a single mote of character or decency I’d likely fight this post. But she doesn’t, and she stinks, and God help us all.
@Charles, you seem to underestimate what you’re up against.
I believe you’ll come around in the coming few months.
After the past few months, I’m thinking that the guillotine is overdue. I used to think ghost was extreme, but I’m on the same page now.
Chicago, by way of Innsmouth:
https://www.hplovecraft.com/writings/texts/fiction/soi.aspx
Good one, Skorpion – who knew Lovecraft wasn’t just making things up?
The governor of this state is calling a special session of the legislature to convene.
The reason is for the passage of a law that gives him immunity from prosecution for the damages (huge here) of the chinaman virus lock-down and shutting down “non-essential” private sector business operations. There are several lawsuits brewing to sue the bastard for financial loss.
This governor needs to get hung from a lamp post and gutted like a giant carp. Then his severed head should be piked. The damage he has done to this state is beyond belief. He walks around with a mask hanging from one ear, wearing a smirk smile. All those near this creep are under orders to wear a mask at all times.
Very very good PA cat. I’ve been gathering some grusome information as well and will append forthwith, PA Cat, Sir.
Introducing the Ronco Guillotine, or Head Master!
Easy to assemble in five (“Only five?” Yup, just five, neighbor.) easy steps.
1. Tie the (commie bastard, lying bitch, traitor, leftist shit ball) to the Bench of That’s All Folks. (included).
2. Say, “Welp, you miserable colon polyp, here’s where WE have our say. YOU won’t have ANY say, though, because you will be, as they say, out of breath.”
Or, something more concise, such as “Ha Ha. Fuck off and die.”
3. Pull Mr. Rope to the top, and say, “Here comes Missus Blade, you bastard.”
4. Let go of the rope, and, as you do, execute what they call a ‘jete’ the hell 0ut of here.’
5. Retrieve the head from the Basket of Ha Ha on You. Say something kind to The Head. For example, “How’s it going?”
Fun for the whole family.
“Gee, Dad, that guy was screaming in fear.”
“Yes, he was, son. We call that the ‘Uh oh, I’m fucked’ scream. That’s what they get, my boy. Eventually, as T. Jefferson wrote, after a long train of abuses, we have had enough, and our instinct for revenge takes hold, and it’s Katy bar the door.”
“Why a door, Pop?”
“No one knows, son. It’s just something that Katy likes to bar, I guess.”
$29.95
See our other products for Thermidor.
The Ronco Wheel of Fun. See how many bones you can break in 30 seconds. Have contests with friends.
“Wow, did you hear her back snap?”
“Sure did, Ned. Melodic.”
The Ronco Hook ‘Em and Drag ‘Em Down the Road Fun Pack. Comes with chain, trailer hitch, a six pack of tarpon hooks, and a kazoo—to blow as the guest of honor glides along the Avenue of You Don’t Look Well to Me.
The Ronco My Little Trebuchet.
A fully functional trebuchet.
Easy to install in the town square, or really any place where you can give commie scum a free ride.
Just…
1, Load the Basket of Bye Bye.
2. Wind the Surgical Tubing of See Ya’Later, Chump, with the handy winch.
3. Aim at a nearby concrete wall.
4. Pull the trigger.
Be prepared to chuckle as the guest of honor makes a sudden stop.
And to think that I got dog-piled in a previous thread for mentioning “public executions” and here you are openly advocating it. Guess I’m just one step ahead of you.
Guillotine? Fallbein? Just goes to show: there’s more than one way to get a head.
History doesn’t repeat itself, but it rhymes. Since we are going with the French Revolution analogies, the part of that disaster that is most likely to be repeated is “The War in the Vendee” where the Ruling Class will exterminate good Americans.
Chicago has a whole Great Lake nearby to find a new Pisces for our next mayor. It’s filled with invasive zebra muscles and PCPs that gives us a unique tasting drinking water. The denizens of Chicago proudly beat their chests and sing the praises of all manner of fish folk. None of my fellow suburbanites speak a word of the atrocities taking place in a Chicago. The local news downplays, distorts, or ignores it. We must get news of violence and mayhem from outside news sources. Sheriff Lori will most likely be sacrificed in the next election, but have no doubt that Chicagoans will elect someone equally incompetent and reprehensible as she, if not even worse. It’s the Chicago way. Chicagoans will also continue to elect corrupt, incompetent governors in their thirst to destroy Illinois and drive away business and jobs.
@Charles, “Just remember how the French revolution turned out.”
-or maybe remember why we revolted in 1765 and how that turned out.
“hope seems to have run out on restoring our republic.” Charles, the republic endured until 1861, 72 years. When you dream of restoring this inverted relic you are playing their game. 155 years says it’s a losing game. Aristotle wrote of what can happen within the form, when “one thing takes the place of another, so that the ancient laws will remain, while the power will be in the hands of those who have brought about revolution in the state.” Even words are flipped to serve the new masters. Prejudice, to pre-judge, and discrimination, to be discriminate, were necessary and esteemed terms in the 18th century when mishap and death were around the corner.
One does not restore a termite ridden stucture. It is razed and rebuilt in a stronger form. Which is not centralized.
Yes, Anonymous, I, along with my wife, Lucretia Van Domme…..
“Coming Dear….. Oh, nothing of which You would not approve. Just maintaining sanity with the good people at Van der Leun’s Hideaway Bar, Grill, and Strip Emporium.”…
….built on the solid foundation of public execution, that you so sagely provided.
Howsomever, there CAN also be private executions.
For example, see the ad in your local paper for
Ronco’s My Little Swirl Job of Death Toilet.
Comes with weighed toilet seat to calm the customer before the entertainment begins.
Or the Ronco Electric Garage Door Head Tenderizer.
Comes with Ronco’s Exclusive Repeated Bashing Feature, along an audio of Curly Joe saying “Gnyuck gnyuck” with each blow.
“Really?”
Oh, hell yes.
“Coming Dear…. You want to do what?!… Well, okie dokie.”
Add the banksters that caused the latest global recession (before the virus) to the list. I think crucifixion ought to be revived for that particular class of parasite.
Woodchipper.
Ronco has JUST what you need, Mr. Christian!
“Hey, doesn’t this guy have a job?”
I do, but was on administrative leave for eight months while Human Resources (deal-souled witch prickers) decide if they can get rid of me based on 6 idiotic allegations made by ONE student out of 23 (“He locked us in the classroom”–impossible to do. “He threw clothes at us!” What in the f’ing h!?? What would THAT look like? Pure lunacy.), the rest of whom wrote that I am the best teacher they ever had, the only one who taught them anything useful, along with a LOT of XOXO’s
But once a female harpy says you did something, even if it did not bother her or anyone else, Title IX considers it ‘sex discrimination,’ ‘harassment,’ and a ‘pervasive hostile environment,’ and you are well and truly f&^ked, unless, like me, you tell them that you will sue them in a way that will make Mike Adams (may he rest in peace) seem like a softy.
Cussing helped a little. I told HR that my Dean is “making shit up. He doesn’t like me because I disagree with his idiot ideas about how to teach inner city kids. I don’t have to do what he wants. Nor do I have to show him respect. He’s not my Company Commander.”
They dropped the whole thing last week.
They will run out of customers by continuing to charge 20 grand a year for 8 online courses, when students they can get much better teachers at community colleges, for 300 bucks a course.
NEW PRODUCT.
Ronco introduces the ** NEW ** Every Kids’ Roman Crucifixion Kit.
Comes compete with your own
1. Hill of Golgatha. March those bastards up the hill as you and neighborhood kids whip the shit out of ’em with bicycle inner tubes, while yelling, “Thought you’d f^%k us over forever, did you? Well, Ha ha, and I mean it to sting.”
2. Four full-sized Roman soldiers. [Plastic.] Not for human consumption, but you might could use the plastic for some other purpose, such as wrapping fish.
3. An 8 x 6 cross made of real artificial wood. Insert lower limb into conveniently placed hole. [Don’t try your usual frail attempt at a f^%ked up pun about holes. We already thought of it and rejected it as clever but stupid.)
4. Hoist the guest onto the patented Perch of This is Going to Hurt REAL Bad, You Asshole. Attach the bastard’s wrists and ankles to the cross with handy twist ties.
5. Make insulting comments, like, “Hey, you hanging around here again!?” Or, “Hey, your shorts are falling down. Gross!”
* This is not meant to insult our Lord and Savior. We refer only to the Roman pre-Christian hobby of Crucifixion.
Lance…you never fail to bring guffaws and chuckles issuing from deep within my belly and throat when I read your clever sarcasm. Glad to know, but not at all surprised, that you stood up to those bullies and as bullies do, left them cowering in abject capitulation. I don’t know how anyone with a brain, a soul and a moral foundation can tolerate today’s teaching environment, but I applaud your tenacity, persistence and courage. More than ever it needs strong men like you.