Submitted for You Approval: Trump’s UN Speech by the Numbers

This was written by Coop LoPresto on FB and has, as they say, been making the rounds:

“Allow me to summarize each paragraph of Trump’s UN speech:

1. Welcome, thanks for being here.
2. Thanks for offering help with hurricanes, but we don’t need any.
3. I’m the best President
4. America FUCKING ROCKS!!
5. It’s the current year!
6. I know some of you bitch-ass bitches in here support terrorism. I got my eye on you motherfuckers.
7. Fuck you, China.
8. Fuck you, too, Mexico and South America.
9. It is the best of times, it is the worst of times.
10. We could make the world great again. Just sayin’.
11. Hey, remember when the UN was supposed to do things that mattered? Good times.
12. LOL, y’all got wrecked by WWII and America is the only reason you recovered.
13. The strength of the pack is the wolf.
14. I’m tired of footing the bill for this organization and NATO.
15. Seriously, how hard is it to not fuck over your own people or fuck with other countries?
16. The EU is fucking stupid.
17. Be more like America, EU.
18. America FUCKING ROCKS!!
19. America invented freedom and don’t you forget it.
20. We have the best Constitution.
21. Power to the people.
22. America First! (TM)

23. America First! (TM) and you should do [your country] first.
24. Seriously, the EU is fucking stupid.
25. Get on my level.
26. Y’all need to start contributing, you fucking freeloaders.
27. Sort yourselves out.
28. America fights your battles for you.
29. America didn’t go around colonizing places after WWII.
30. We’re gonna do what’s best for us.
31. Reagan Mode: Engaged!
32. Fuck you, Russia, China, and North Korea.
33. Fuck you, the Middle East
34. “Evil triumphs when good men do nothing.”
35. Fuck you, North Korea.
36. Seriously, North Korea, you suck. The fuck is wrong with you?
37. These motherfuckers want to nuke us.
38. And China’s helping them. Fuck you, China.
39. Try something, you little bitch. Rocket man. I will fuck you up!
40. I’d like to thank China and Russia for playing ball with us against North Korea.
41. What the fuck have the rest of you done? Well, it ain’t enough.
42. I see you over there, Iran! You’re next, motherfucker!
43. Fuck you, Iran!
44. Act like I don’t know you’re sponsoring terrorism, Iran!
45. Obama was fucking stupid. The Iran Deal is bullshit.
46. I’m coming for that ass, Iran.
47. You’re a BITCH, Iran!
48. There’s a reckoning coming, Iran. You little bitch!
49. You’re the one bitch who still thinks terrorism is cool, Iran!
50. I’m more popular in the Middle East than you are, Iran!
51. We fight radical Islamic terror, not sponsor it, you bitch!
52. You’re a terrorist-sponsoring bitch, Iran!
53. Terrorists are losers.
54. I’m better at this War-On-Terror thing than Obama was.
55. Like, WAAAAY better. I’ve got Jim Mattis. We get shit done.
56. Weapons of Mass Destruction 2: Electric Boogaloo
57. I think I watched “The White Helmets” on Netflix once. That was cool, I guess.
58. How ’bout them refugees, right? Let’s fix this problem.
59. Nobody wants refugees in their country. Fix their homes so we can send them back.
60. It’s one of the many reasons why I have a wall to build.
61. Mexico’s trying to send us all the people it doesn’t want.
62. But, I mean, c’mon. We don’t want them either.
63. Nice try, UN, but America’s still the #1 Humanitarian contributor.
64. America’s the only reason y’all are living in the 21st Century
65. Seriously, UN. Get on our level.
66. Why the fuck are Muslim theocracies on your Human Rights Council?
67. I’m tired of footing the bill for this organization, you freeloaders.
68. The rest of you ain’t doing shit to fix anything.
69. This is all a waste of American money, and you fuckers know it.
70. Fuck you, Cuba.
71. Fuck you, too, Venezuela.
72. Socialism’s the Goddamn worst.
73. Just ask the Venezuelan people.
74. We all agree the Venezuelan government sucks.
75. I’ve called them out on this. Pray they don’t piss me off.
76. The rest of you South American countries get it, don’t you?
77. The UN’s gotta do more to free Venezuela from Socialism.
78. Like seriously, Socialism sucks SO BAD. Every. Single. Time.
79. De Oppresso Liber
80. We’re all for free trade, but…
81. NAFTA’s a fucking joke.
82. I’ma get what’s mine
83. Get on America’s level, rest of the world.
84. WWII was about patriotism.
85. But let’s just focus on the Allies’ patriotism. It’s less awkward, that way.
86. Globalism sucks.
87. Sort yourselves out, rest of the world.
88. Just say “no” to Globalism, kids.
89. America hated Britain before they rebelled against it.
90. ~America! Fuck yeah!~
91. America FUCKING ROCKS!!
92. Make your countries great again!
93. Quit fiddling with this globalist bullshit.
94. If you embrace patriotism, you too, can be somewhere near America’s level.
95. What took you guys so long to realize that?
96. We’ll all be better off for it.
97. Alright, I’m gettin’ the light. Good night, everybody, You’ve been wonderful. Give yourselves a round of applause!”