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Strange Daze: Cupid’s Slings and Arrows

heartandsoul.jpgMarriage: It Gets Worse

Cupid’s Arrow through smokers’ hearts: Cigarette after Valentine snuggle deadlier for some

No Shit Sherlock!: Study “discovers” that “Women More Perceptive Than Men In Describing Relationships.” Yes, but only because we don’t need to talk.

They say it’s all happening at the zoo! Science, Not Romance, Controls Mating At Smithsonian’s National Zoo

Give me money! That’s what I want! What Men And Women Say And Do In Choosing Romantic Partners Are Two Different Matters “In other words good looks was the primary stimulus of attraction for both men and women, and a person with good earning prospects or ambition tended to be liked as well,” said Eli Finkel, assistant professor of psychology at Northwestern. “Most noteworthy, the earning-power effect as well as the good-looks effect didn’t differ for men and women.”

Mom’s behind the whole thing. So chill: ‘Love Hormone’ Promotes Bonding: Could It Treat Anxiety?

Sigh. “People actually get paid to discover this stuff” Case #12,487: Beauty Bias: Can People Love The One They Are Compatible With? “Compared to females, males are more influenced by how physically attractive their potential dates are, but less affected by how attractive they themselves are, when deciding whom to date. Also, regardless of how attractive people themselves are, they seem to judge others’ attractiveness in similar ways, supporting the notion that we have largely universal, culturally independent standards of beauty (e.g. symmetric faces).”

Deep down, some lovers are shallow: Is Your Dating Partner Happy? With Some People It Is Hard To Know “The desire to alter one’s personality to appropriately fit a given situation or social climate prevents high self-monitors from presenting their true selves during intimate interactions with their romantic partners,” says Roloff. “High self-monitors are very likeable and successful people. However, it appears they’re just not deep.”

Rejected valentines fromShoebox Cards“A tiny little division of Hallmark”

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • PA Cat February 14, 2022, 3:34 PM

    Tsk tsk, Gerard– how could you leave out the growing V-day market for the LGBT crowd?

    • ghostsniper February 14, 2022, 7:06 PM

      I gave my wife a heart shaped Whitman sampler that had a cat on it that looks similar to our Sparkle.
      She gave me a bag of pink heart Reese’s peanut butter cups.

      This morning, for her birthday tomorrow, I made a quart and a half of Hershey’s chocolate ice cream in the Cuisinart ICE21. Then this afternoon, for the same reason, I made a Hershey’s triple chocolate cake from scratch. She has gotten very used to how lucky she is.

      • Mike Austin February 15, 2022, 6:23 AM

        Ghost: Whenever you write about your wife, I can tell that whatever love is, that you both share it.

        • ghostsniper February 15, 2022, 11:19 AM

          Thank you.
          I recommend to everyone, to see the James Stewart movie from 1965 named Shenandoah, a civil war movie at it’s base. Early in the movie James (Charlie Anderson) has a conversation with a young man (Lt Sam) that wants to marry Charlies daughter Jennie. (Charlie’s wife had died 10 years prior).

          Lt. Sam: I love Jennie, Mr Anderson, and I would like to ask you for her hand in marriage.
          Charlie Anderson: Do you like her?
          Lt. Sam: Well, I just said I…
          Charlie Anderson: No, no. You just said you loved her. There’s some difference between lovin’ and likin’. When I married Jennie’s mother, I-I didn’t love her – I liked her… I liked her a lot. I liked Martha for at least three years after we were married and then one day it just dawned on me I loved her. I still do… still do. You see, Sam, when you love a woman without likin’ her, the night can be long and cold, and contempt comes up with the sun.


          Slow talkin’ James does a wonderful job delivering that dialog and I can’t imagine anyone doing it better than him.

          Because of the times we live in the message in those words can be lost. That dialog was based on the lifestyle of the 1860’s where premarital sex was almost non-existent. Probably 99% of marriages then were virginal, neither partner had had sex with anyone else. It was common to know a future spouse for a long time before marrying. During that time period bugs got ironed out and therefore divorce was rare.

          I can understand the contempt Charlie Anderson talks about cause I lived through it. I can’t tell you how many times the contempt welled up inside me only to finally settle down, then like clockwork flair up again, over and over and over. This was because I loved my wife before I liked her. Because of the time we lived in. In later years that dynamic has flipped. While I do love my wife, I like her more. If someone had explained this to me 20 years ago I might not have been able to understand it.

          • John Venlet February 16, 2022, 7:25 AM

            Ghostsniper, you are so correct about the importance of realizing the absolute difference in liking, and loving, your wife. As an example of this, I share this. The Lovely Melis and I will be together as husband and wife for 30 years this coming November. I liked her for three years prior to loving her and asking her to be with me as a wife. We both came from previous marriages. About six years into married life together, we hit a real rough spot, and Melis did not like me at all any longer. Things were tense. Neither of us wanted what had been so good together to end, but her dislike for me, at that time, was kinda intense. We made it through that period; we call it, now, the year she did not like me; and when we talk about that time, Melis always tells me that though she did not like me at all during that year, she loved me, and did not want to let me go. I’m thankful for that love, because it allowed us to rekindle the intense like we had for each other in our earliest days together, which totally strengthened the love we carried forward to this day, and the like.

  • Terry February 14, 2022, 7:12 PM

    Heck, I was expecting to view some examples of beautiful women to make this post more interesting.

  • JustMe February 14, 2022, 7:51 PM

    I want a women with nice tits, good sex and nice personality, in that order. Her face may attract me but is less important to me.

    • ghostsniper February 15, 2022, 1:41 PM

      Well, yeah.
      But then what?
      That’s like saying “I just want a car with 4 tires, a radio, and tinted windows.”
      What about the long view?
      How much gas mileage does it get, and what does the insurance cost for a year, and does it have any rust?
      People today, and for the past 30 years or so, are so short sighted, and then they wonder dumbly why they always end up with the shitty end of the stick.

      • JustMe February 15, 2022, 4:50 PM

        That is the long view. Everyone picks a lover/mate for their own reasons and everyone thinks the other persons reasons are stupid. Welcome to the club.

        • ghostsniper February 15, 2022, 5:23 PM

          The diff is that I know what the long view is.
          I don’t think your view is stupid, just short sighted.
          I thought the same as you do now, in my teens and twenties.
          Then, I grew up.

          • JustMe February 16, 2022, 7:52 AM

            You grew up!! LOL What! You no longer like sex?

          • JustMe February 16, 2022, 3:24 PM

            How could it possibly be short sighted??? Do you allow strangers to pick your wife? Probably not you have some criteria. But because your criteria is different from mine then mine must be “short sighted” while your’s is far superior. Why would I pick a woman I didn’t want to be intimate with? Now, THAT would be short sighted.

  • Mike Austin February 15, 2022, 2:39 AM

    Science trying to figure out love is like a Hottentot trying to figure out Shakespeare. It would be funny if the science papers did not take themselves so seriously. At first I even thought that “Science Daily” was an offshoot of the Babylon Bee.

    Half of every word in every language is about love—ok, maybe not in Chinese. One look at the grim Xi Jinping can remove any imaginings of “love in the time of China”. The best I can say about love is: it happens. Moderns think that sex is love. Adulterers think that another woman is love. Sodomites think that a male rectum is love. Biden thinks little girls are love. My dog Joysie thinks that I am love—in fact, she loves me unconditionally, especially when she gets her morning chicken stick.

    As for me, there is nothing I can add to any discussion of love. I liked it when I had it; I didn’t miss it when I didn’t. I have found love in the best of times to be expensive in money, time and energy. As for how Moderns view love, I rely upon what Lord Acton is rumored to have said: “The emotions are fleeting, the results are expensive, and the position, ridiculous.”

    Many Christians like to say, “God is Love”, but the way they lead their lives says “Love is God.” A reading of the Bible does indeed show that God is Love. His love can be harsh, it can be painful, it can be joyful. But it is the real thing. Once a man understands this, he realizes that what most people call love is no such thing at all; in fact, it most closely resembles a soft form of hatred.

    Happy Valentine’s Day.

  • John Venlet February 15, 2022, 5:26 AM

    The “experts” take on love, just what the world needs. Love is blind, don’t listen to the experts. Also, love can wax and wane, and to keep love alive, one often has to work at it, and when one does, the rewards of love can lead to a new appreciation of both the one you love, and yourself.

  • Jack February 15, 2022, 6:41 AM

    My wife and I are an older couple but we adore each other and we show love for each other every day. We take care of each other and completely enjoy it. For V-day she went to visit her grandkids for a week of hustling them around while visiting her daughters. While she’s gone, I’m installing a new sink, disposal and inline water filter in her kitchen.

    • ghostsniper February 15, 2022, 10:59 AM

      Tip: Install the faucet on the sink BEFORE you install the sink. Same with the disposal. If the sink is cast iron use a floor jack (braced from below with additional dunnage to keep from blowing the bottom of the cabinet out) to lower the sink in place. Don’t forget the plumbers putty UNDER the sink rim, then silicone around the edge after it’s installed.

      The Kohler Dory single bowl cast iron sink I installed in our kitchen weighed 130lbs BEFORE the faucet and disposal were installed. It was a beast. But a valuable learning experience.

      Can’t recommend the inline water filter because they have to be changed out and getting under the sink to do it is a pain. Instead, I installed a whole house filter, the 4 cartridge job, on the wall in the laundry room where it’s easy to get to. Even my wife can switch out the cartridges. This allows ALL the water in our house to be filtered as it is installed on the line coming into the house. Cry once.

      • John Venlet February 15, 2022, 11:18 AM

        Ghostsniper, I am so incorporating your wisdom into my next kitchen sink installation. Now why didn’t I think of that on prior installs?

        • ghostsniper February 15, 2022, 11:30 AM

          One more tip, John, if you are working alone.
          Place a 24″ long 2×4 along the left and right sides of the sink opening, flush with the edge of the hole. Use 1″ blue tape to hold them in place, from scooting around. That way, as you get the sink up and over the opening, if something goes wrong, jack fails or slips, or anything else, the sink will not fall down and damage the countertop. Lower the sink down and let it rest on the 2×4’s so that you can work your plumbers putty “snakes” under the edges of the sink. Then, lift the sink slightly with the jack, remove the 2×4’s, then fill in the voids where the 2×4’s were with more putty.

          I’ve done maybe 10-12 sink installs and each time gets a little easier. Notice I said easier, not easy. The easiest way is to hire a pro and let your wallet do the talking, just make sure you supervise that it is done properly. Plumbers just LOVE it when they are supervised. LOL

          • John Venlet February 15, 2022, 11:43 AM

            Thanks for the rest of the story (tip), Ghostsniper. There is a full-on kitchen demo and remodel in my not too distant future, since my Lovely Melis is gonna join me in a semi-retired basis, and because she’s such a fine hand in the kitchen, I’ll make her kitchen just the way she wants it to be. Well, within reason, and budget constraints.

            • ghostsniper February 15, 2022, 1:27 PM

              Full scale kitchen remodel.
              Very good.
              The kitchen is the proverbial “heart of the home” and therefore the most expensive room in the house.

              I always strive a for a balance between form and function however, it must look good first, and then work well.

              5 years ago I ripped our kitchen down to the studs and re did everything. The only thing I subbed out was the Corian counter tops. Considered granite but when comparing prices Corian won out by a wide margin and, we had Corian in our Florida house and were happy with it. This time the cost was about $1700 installed and I am pleased with them. We ordered them through Lowes who hired a local company in Bloomington to do them. Some how going through Lowes was less expensive than hiring that company ourselves. Go figure.

              We went with white GE appliances because that is what we had in our FL house and were pleased with them. I can no longer recommend GE. They have dropped considerably in usability, and the prices have soared too. I do like our $600 Kohler single bowl sink and Badger disposal but despise the $300 Moen faucet because I have to replace the guts every 1-2 years and it’s a major pain each time.

              I do not like our 24 cf GE side by side refrigerator. It has the ice and water in the door and we never use it. We have a Brita filter pitcher in the fridge for all our drinking water. That icemaker takes up quite a bit of space in an already small freezer. Next time I will buy a model that has the freezer on the bottom (drawer), and no icemaker. Notice, if you have an icemaker in the freezer but don’t use it a lot the ice tends to take on the freezer taste. I disconnected the icemaker and removed the ice tray so we have more room but that icemaker still takes up a lot of space.

              Next time I will go with a Bosch dishwasher and it will have a front that looks like the cabinets and no one will know it is a different brand than the balance of the appliances. I know at least 5 other people that have Bosch DW’s and all of them are happy with them. Our current GE does poorly in all aspects, especially not drying the dishes. Every time there is water pooled in the nooks and crannies that need to be dried with towels before putting away.

              What I’ll suggest is that you use the appliances hard for the first couple weeks and watch how they perform, that way if they fail in any way you’ll know, and you can address them accordingly. FWIW, just a few months ago I replaced the bottom rack in our GE dishwasher because the old one had rusted in a lot of areas and was getting rust on my wife’s Pfaltsgraff Yorltowne plates and that is unacceptable. That rack cost me $165 plus $30 shipping, almost half what the whole DW cost. Never again. GE can bite me. Moen too.

              • John Venlet February 16, 2022, 5:58 AM

                Thanks for the additional insights, Ghostsniper, I appreciate it. We’ll be ripping down to the studs, also. Our first kitchen remodel was an enlargement of the kitchen by ripping down a wall. I wish we would have gone down to the studs on the outside walls, too, but alas, that’ll have to happen this time, and since the house was built in 1929, it’ll be plaster, lath, and a mess. Ceiling will also be torn down to the studs. Lovely Melis wants to keep her existing appliances, which we just purchased a couple years ago, replacements for the ones we bought during the first remodel. Bosch dishwasher (the best in my opinion), JennAir gas stove with electric overn, and JennAir fridge, which I think is built by Whirlpool. No decision on countertops, yet, but I like the Corian idea also. The Lovely Melis wants a clean line kitchen, sorta in a Scandanavian style I guess you could call it. A big project, to be sure, but well worth it simply for the cuisine Melis puts in front of me. She’s talented in the kitchen.

  • John Venlet February 15, 2022, 8:23 AM

    Gerard, you should have closed your Valentine’s Day post with Golding’s wisdom.

    • Vanderleun February 15, 2022, 11:09 AM

      Like this?

  • FLSTF February 15, 2022, 11:07 AM

    My apologies, but I just couldn’t resist posting my favorite Valentine’s Day song, performed by J. Geils-

  • FLSTF February 15, 2022, 11:34 AM

    I actually thought this was a parody or a joke, but it doesn’t appear to be either.

    The ATF says the way to celebrate Valentine’s Day is by turning in your “EX” who may be buying or selling guns.

    WTAF has happened to America?

    • Mike Austin February 15, 2022, 11:44 AM

      The same thing that happens to a corpse left outdoors for a few days.

      • ghostsniper February 15, 2022, 1:32 PM

        The decline continues.