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April 19, 2017

Dumb Birds of North America


Seadull If you live near the coast, these sons of bitches are everywhere.
Also, if you live near a garbage dump. Gulls literally don’t care whether they’re eating a small marine invertebrate from the ocean or a rancid french-fry from the trash. Yeah. They enjoy eating garbage and shitting everywhere. Fun bird fact: The gulls in Alfred Hitchcock’s movie The Birds were fed a mix of wheat and whiskey so they would attack a children’s birthday party.Field Guide to Dumb Birds of North America

Posted by gerardvanderleun at April 19, 2017 9:41 AM. This is an entry on the sideblog of American Digest: Check it out.

Your Say

Seriously, no yellow bellied fartwarbler? Thanks for the laugh, I needed that.

Posted by: Bunny at April 19, 2017 10:05 AM

I love it. Reminds me of the old Fuck You, Penguin:

Fuck You, Penguin

Posted by: Monty James at April 19, 2017 12:13 PM

One link that's worth clicking.

Posted by: BillH at April 19, 2017 1:39 PM

Posted by: Monty James at April 19, 2017 8:21 PM

I am happy to see that the Canadian Goose made the list of annoying birds. Around here they are known as Sky Carp. Some years ago some numbnut at work started feeding a group of them from a big barrel of corn. They got so fat and lazy they quit migrating. So their offspring quit migrating. They now just hang around the work pond and parking lot, pooping on everything. Kind of like giving food stamps to people who are already overweight.

Posted by: Snakepit Kansas at April 20, 2017 3:56 AM

Yep,don't feed 'em. My brother began tossing bread bits to the Emerald Head Dullard who swam in his backyard pool. Within a month,he had a huge flock partying down at Pooltime Poopapalooza. He's regained his senses,and his pool.
The Field Guide to Dumb Birds is both funny and spot on,great link.

Posted by: Nori at April 20, 2017 6:35 AM

The neighborhood I live in has several sets of sandhill cranes in the area. I keep my distance, but a neighbor lady thought it would be a good idea to feed them. It wasn't. These birds are BIG and can be quite aggressive, especially when it comes to eating. They chased her back to her house, pecking at her until she dropped the food. She was shaken up but not hurt, and learned her lesson.

Posted by: waltj at April 20, 2017 4:56 PM

Our house is currently under siege by a plague of Northern Fuckers. They drum on the metal cover of the chimney and make a noise like an M60 machine gun

Posted by: Campesino at April 22, 2017 9:49 AM

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