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March 8, 2017

The inconvenient truth about the automated public restroom is that nothing works worth a crap.

Whatever it is that has been automated here bears no resemblance to even the most rudimentary of human skills.

The automated toilet flushes prematurely, often repeatedly, while we are still seated upon it, and then, once we’ve reassumed an erect posture and want nothing more than to exit the stall, it refuses to flush at all. The automated soap dispenser either doesn’t work or spits soap on our trousers. The automated faucet either doesn’t work or sprays out such a gusher that the water bounces off the sink and soaks our shirt. The automated towel dispenser hands us a strip of ugly brown paper that would be too small to dry the hands of a hamster.Whose self does the self-flushing toilet flush? | ROUGH TYPE

Posted by gerardvanderleun at March 8, 2017 2:14 PM. This is an entry on the sideblog of American Digest: Check it out.

Your Say

Do I have to teach you dummies everything?!
The toilet seat is not for sitting on, it's to brace your arms against so that you're not, upon flushing, sucked down the drain when standing in the bowl to wash or just cool your feet. Of course, if you're washing your face or hair in the bowl the same bracing is necessary.

Regarding the soap spitting onto your shirt and trousers, the simple solution is to always wear someone else's shirt and trousers to be spat upon!

The ugly brown and inadequate paper you refer to is not for drying your hands, you dummy, it's for running through your skull, ear-to-ear, to clear your mind by stroking your brain tissue.

Lastly, if you need to clear your bowels you can simply join an SJW movement.

Posted by: Howard Nelson at March 8, 2017 3:46 PM

Howard, that was some funny stuff!

Last time I saw someone "wash" their hair in the toilet, it was in junior high. Couple guys stuffed some dude's head in the toilet and flushed.

The Japanese have the best toilets. Keyboard, control panel and all!

Posted by: Snakepit Kansas at March 8, 2017 6:32 PM

But it's OK.

Clean yourself off and get into your self-driving car and go home.


Posted by: John The River at March 8, 2017 8:23 PM

My wife informed that wimmenz have a different perspective on the word *hover*.

Technology is only as good as the humans that maintain it.

Posted by: ghostsniper at March 8, 2017 8:25 PM

"Technology is only as good as the humans that maintain it."

Mr. G sir, that there is some deep truth, fall down a rabbit-hole deep.

For instance, the mech-human dystopian conflict we all dread is coming, can be averted by a simple design principle: "Don't put in fault resiliency. Redundancy, degraded modes and graceful shutdown are OK, but for God's sake don't give the bots the ability to adapt, improvise, overcome."

Posted by: John A. Fleming at March 8, 2017 11:39 PM

Keep your eye on the drone tech.
I understand there are now ground drones building flight drones.

When they can self analyze (awareness of self) it will be too late.

The weakest link in flight drones now is the propulsion system. Propellers fail easily. Constant adjusting pressure gates is the key to eliminating the propellers.

Posted by: ghostsniper at March 9, 2017 4:23 AM

Think "Skynet"! It's coming.

Posted by: Vermont Woodchuck at March 9, 2017 7:59 AM

Don't get me started! The best toilets in the world are the Finns.' Higher than our thrones (we have a law, you see, that makes them too low for broken-backed old farts like me to ease onto or off of) for one. Double action flusher button (these are showing up here, but the high end flush is limited by your friendly overreaching gubmint) is sweet. Convinced? I've got you not squatting to enthrone, and not having to double flush, nor over-flush...wait for it. The toilet is aimed from the corner into the room. That's right, bubba: elbow room and threat-oriented towards the door. No shoe-horning Sven into the box, like in the USA.
And for my final potty gripe: no water urinals in our malls. That's right. Apparently, someone from Russia, no doubt, is hauling our water supply off planet. This explains the *shortage* of water.

Posted by: Casey Klahn at March 9, 2017 9:04 AM

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