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February 22, 2016

"Don't you want to have a home inspector look at it first?"

I may have said,
"My dear lady; a home inspector is engaged to determine if anything is wrong with a house before you purchase it. I can assure you that his services will not be required, because there is absofarginlutely nothing right with this house. Every atom of its being is corrupt and contemptible. There is a hole in the roof I can climb through, if I'm willing to be elbowed by squirrels on the way by. The electricity is borne on raw wires strung through the house like a Depression-era photo of a Arkansas dirt road. The boiler will not boil, and the walls do not wall out much of anything. The plumbing does not plumb, is not plumb, and cannot achieve anything plumbish.There is a box in the basement filled with 25 pounds of asbestos batting. The good paint is lead, and the bad paint, the part that shows, is the color of a Soviet battleship hull. The floors are concave and the pipes are convex. Most of the interior walls are covered with shingles for some reason, including the backsplash behind the stove. This house is an affront to the trees that were massacred to produce it." It's also possible I said, "No thanks." I really can't remember. Sippican Cottage: Interestingly, 'Dented Wedding Photographer' Is the Name of My Firefall Tribute Band. But I Digress

Posted by gerardvanderleun at February 22, 2016 9:27 AM. This is an entry on the sideblog of American Digest: Check it out.

Your Say

In the 70's I used to play "So Long" through a Pioneer SX-1250 and (4) HPM-100's at 11 and when the crescendo faded there was a felt vacuum in the air and usually 2 or 3 people rendered unconscious on the living room floor.

Posted by: ghostsniper [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 22, 2016 9:56 AM

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