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May 6, 2012

Short-Listed to Replace David Axelrod [Updated to add photo for credibility]

constipated-monkey_2210750k.jpg

Zhang Bangsheng, a very dedicated Chinese zoo keeper,
had to lick a constipated money's bottom for over an hour after the three-month-old Francois Leaf monkey swallowed a peanut whole. The monkey showed signs of stomach problems and was unable to defecate. It was too young to be given laxatives so the only way to encourage it was by licking its behind (Zhang used warm water to clean the area before he began). His efforts were rewarded an hour later when the monkey defecated a single peanut. --Daily Telegraph
[Note: I admit this could be a put-on. Hard to believe.... which is why it is so believable.]

Posted by gerardvanderleun at May 6, 2012 3:51 PM. This is an entry on the sideblog of American Digest: Check it out.

Your Say

Gerard, that is sarcasm right? That didn't actually happen.......

Posted by: bill at May 6, 2012 5:28 PM

I can see I'm going to have to add the photo. I was hoping to get around it, but noooooo.......

Posted by: vanderleun at May 6, 2012 6:21 PM

"It was by far the most delicious peanut I've ever had the pleasure of eating." - Zhang Bangsheng, Zookeeper

Posted by: Jerry Curl at May 6, 2012 6:25 PM

I like monkeys, but...

Posted by: monkeyfan at May 6, 2012 7:02 PM

Some rewards are not rewards, Gerard. That reward paid some fulsome dividends.

Posted by: Jewel at May 6, 2012 10:30 PM

Any society that eats live baby mice as a delicacy, will do 'other' things too.

Posted by: Peccable at May 7, 2012 4:07 AM

Now if they fed those little critters organic coffee beans, they might just have a groundbreaking new product for the west coast hipster market.

Posted by: monkeyfan at May 7, 2012 8:46 AM

Vet: (quietly to dad) Sir, the only way your daughter's monkey is going to live is for you to lick its ass until it craps out a peanut.

Dad: (to daughter) The vet says your monkey's going to die.

Posted by: ucfengr at May 7, 2012 9:34 AM

I'm not showing my wife this picture.

"No, honey, it's just another old acid flashback. Pay me no mind. I'll stop laughing hysterically in another hour or two."

Posted by: mushroom at May 7, 2012 10:11 AM

"How was your day at work, Honey?"

JWM

Posted by: jwm at May 7, 2012 8:47 PM

WTF? Feed the monkey to a tiger. Problem solved.
Of course, if the tiger gets constipated...there could be a bigger problem.

I wonder if the monkey butt licker had a choice?
Then again, I wouldn't be surprised if there's a market for this kind of thing.
There's some seriously f#cked people out there.
As the photo illustrates.

Hey, I wonder if this would be called torture if terrorist prisoners were forced to do it?

Posted by: USS Ben at May 7, 2012 9:51 PM

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