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April 11, 2012

While Tied to a Conveyer Belt, Inches Away From Imminent and Inescapable Doom, a Hero Reflects.

I’m tied down to a slow moving conveyor belt. At the end of this belt is a sharp blade chopping down.
There’s a brick of C4 explosives on my chest that is wired to twenty-seven sticks of dynamite. A ticking clock will set it off the moment the blade comes down on my neck. Also, this warehouse is on fire. I feel the heat, see the smoke, and hear the crackling flames. Also, I have cancer. Super cancer.... In case I somehow escape this mess, there’s a sniper in the next building over, targeting me. That’s what this red dot on my forehead is. --McSweeney’s Internet Tendency

Posted by gerardvanderleun at April 11, 2012 10:26 AM. This is an entry on the sideblog of American Digest: Check it out.

Your Say

I'm not trained in the intricate workings of the human mind, I can offer, from my vantage point, as an understudy in the higher education facility of life, my laser focused opinion that this guy's cheese has definatley slid off his cracker.

Posted by: Greg at April 12, 2012 12:02 AM

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