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April 2, 2012

More on the FLOTUS' Self-Willed Wardrobe Malfunction


Let's be honest with ourselves for a second. Those are crotchless shorts.
And no, I don't, by that, mean that whatever that thing is not actually a skirt. I mean, from the side, it looks like you're wearing shorts and then from the front it looks like someone took a pair of scissors and made damned sure no one went home without nightmares of First Lady camel toe. And there's a lot of potential for camel toe here, because your entire crotch is exposed. Because, when the shorts malfunctioned, or ran screaming into the woods, or whatever they did, they left a vision of an extremely large zipper. Some might say, too large. Because, and I repeat, your entire crotch is exposed. Michelle, there is no reason the words “crotch” and “First Lady” should ever go together. --Michelle Obama wears sparkly non-shorts to Kids Choice Awards :: Naked DC

Posted by gerardvanderleun at April 2, 2012 9:01 AM. This is an entry on the sideblog of American Digest: Check it out.

Your Say

victim of fashion

Posted by: Fat Man at April 2, 2012 11:50 AM

She's all Fluke'd up.

Posted by: twolaneflash at April 2, 2012 12:03 PM

Sigh. I will forever rue the day I heard the phrase "first lady camel toe"

Posted by: flannelputz at April 2, 2012 4:38 PM

What was she talking about, "I’m not going to accuse you of not having a full-length mirror, because I know from past experience that you don’t."

What the he-double-hockey-sticks does she think I am"?

Thanks Gerard for keepin' my back! I owe you won.

Posted by: MOTUS at April 2, 2012 7:39 PM

Oh, come on. They are not "crotchless". They are a skirtish thing worn over full length legging pants. Pleather, which is stupid.

Now, why you would want to wear black leggings to make you look slimmer, and then a herringbone check over your butt and hips to make them look big, is one of those fashion choices usually associated with bustles and bum rolls. Presumably the first lady thinks it makes her look curvy, or disguises the inevitable misshapen lumps of fabric caused by sitting down in pleather leggings meant to be worn standing.

But unless you seriously plan to be walking through Michelle's legs, or watching an anime of Michelle directed for maximum perversity, there's no way you're going to see anything like you're predicting, even if the pleather pants were the maximum possible skin-tightness. The engineering of the human body itself makes it difficult, and these particular pants have a huge seam.

Now, are these pants comfortable for the wearer? Is the outfit even vaguely dignified enough for me the fashion disaster, much less for a first lady? I would say "no" to both questions. But what you're saying is just silly.

Posted by: Maureen at April 3, 2012 7:45 AM

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