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January 26, 2010

From the State of the Union Address

Leaked via Christopher Buckley in The Audacity of Oops @ The Daily Beast
I called in the smart folks in my administration, many of them educated at Harvard, and I put it to them directly. I said, “Is this my fault?” And to a person they said, “No, sir! No way!”

I said to them, “Well then, whose fault is it?” And they said, “It’s the bankers, Mr. President. The scum-sucking, stimulus money-accepting, bonus-awarding, self-regarding swine who inhabit the street of shame and infamy, the harlot’s den known as Wall Street.”

I said to them, “And what are we going to do about them? We can’t hang them all. We don’t have enough rope. And anyway, rope is expensive and I’m trying to cut the deficit. Ideas, people. I want ideas.”

So tonight I can announce to you, my fellow Americans, the creation of a bipartisan commission to study how to kill the bankers in an efficient and hemp-sensitive manner.

Posted by Vanderleun at January 26, 2010 8:39 AM. This is an entry on the sideblog of American Digest: Check it out.

Your Say

"It's the bankers Mr. President - those that went to Yale. The scum-sucking, stimulus accepting.....

Posted by: KTWO at January 26, 2010 8:57 AM

I'm sorry, but Chris Buckley, who fell over himself to support Obama's election, does not get to adopt the knowing air of seeing through the President now.

Posted by: RC2 at January 26, 2010 9:42 AM

Well put, RC2...my sentiments exactly. Buckley may write funny stories and could possibly qualify for a job at National Lampoom. However, as a political prognosticator he is even more hilarious. He seems to have that Johnson-esque desire to stick a thumb in the eye of his more intelligent friends.

Posted by: Blastineau at January 26, 2010 9:52 AM

Now,now.... charity to the prodigal son.

Posted by: vanderleun at January 26, 2010 9:58 AM

I see they are re-calling some syringes that may push some silicon into the tissue. May CB use one today.

Posted by: dr kill at January 26, 2010 11:22 AM

Gerard: First he must apologize:

Mea Culpa,
Mea Clupa,
Mea Maxima Culpa

Posted by: Fat Man at January 26, 2010 12:09 PM

"Rope is expensive"? "A hemp-sensitive manner"?

Hell, that ain't no hill for a stepper to climb. One or two big Peoplepaloozas with snappy titles like "Rock 'n Roll And Plant Dope To Save The Planet And Make Enough Rope To Hang The Man, Man" oughta generate enough geedas just from T-shirt sales to buy sufficient cheap clothesline from China to get the job done.

Buckley will never recover from Iowahawk's epic Coddington Van Voorhees routine, and this is a weak, weak attempt at getting back behind Pater's coattails.

Sorry, and have a good life. Better luck next time.

Posted by: Rob De Witt at January 26, 2010 12:47 PM

The prodigal son apologized.

Posted by: Cathy at January 26, 2010 1:03 PM

Yes, he did. And so shall Buckley. He SHALL kiss and lick the boot! He SHALL know the stark FIST OF REMOVAL!

Posted by: vanderleun at January 26, 2010 2:46 PM

This over-privileged idiot fell for Ivy League degrees. He dismissed experience, and then spewed all over the temerity of that little chillbilly thinking she could try for the V-P job.

His father should have insisted that sonny-boy serve a four-year hitch in any of the five services, and leave with an honorable discharge, as a condition of inheritance.

Posted by: Mikey NTH at January 26, 2010 3:26 PM

I bear him no grudge and am always happy to see anyone return to being American after a foray into Citizenship-of-the-World. Just saying the "known it all along" tone doesn't suit.

Posted by: RC2 at January 27, 2010 5:28 AM

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