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Scrapbook of the Plague Year 1: “My God. Oh no. I’m ain’t messing with you. Oh no.”

Life goes on — in many ways better — at The Perfect Vision Plague Diaries #12 by“ Andy Havens   I  won’t see my daughter again until lunchtime, she’s starting school by way of a zoom class in her bedroom right now. The Boy will bounce down the stairs in a few minutes, fully dressed and singing or shouting or throwing things in general jubilation (he is an absolute cliché of boyness, thank God, rarely quiet and always moving). He likes checking emails and doing his own thing and so he’ll more or less get started with his school on his own.

I’ve got 295 days worth now.How Much Toilet Paper Will You Need?! – The Toilet Paper Calculator

7 Historic Dishes Born From Tough Times That You Can Make at Home – Gastro Obscura

China Claims No New Deaths As Peasant Passes By Shouting ‘Bring Out Your Dead!’ | 

Our Super Smart Elite Shines During This Pandemic! The same people who are always telling us how smart they are and how they are morally entitled to instruct us peasants have never designed anything, engineered anything, built anything, trucked anything or assembled anything, except maybe some crappy Ikea bookcase. But they are qualified to insist that – POOF! – a bunch of N95 masks should magically appear overnight. I guess everything is easy if you don’t have to do it yourself.

America Still a Global Leader Even in a Time of Crisis Despite accusations of growing isolationism at a time of a worldwide pandemic, the U.S. still stations 200,000-250,000 troops abroad. Those assets ensure that no hostile power in the present crisis will opportunistically threaten European and Asian democracies.

Mark Twain Was a Crazy Cat Lady Twain’s favorite was a black cat named Bambino. When it went missing, he took out an ad in a local newspaper (complete with reward offer), and this description: “Large and intensely black; thick, velvety fur; has a faint fringe of white hair across his chest; not easy to find in ordinary light.”

Does It Flush? A Primer by Bill (and Caitlin) Walsh – According To Hoyt

Las Vegas Moves Homeless to Parking Lot as Shelter Resident Tests Positive for Coronavirus

They paved paradise
And put up a parking lot
With a pink hotel, a boutique
And a swinging hot spot
Don’t it always seem to go
That you don’t know what you’ve got
‘Till it’s gone
They paved paradise
And put up a parking lot

Joe Biden Can’t Be President So the safest course might be to nominate Biden and then have him resign for unspecified health reasons. Assuming that Biden could be persuaded, the rest is relatively easy: Article 3.1(c) of the Charter of the Democratic Party gives the DNC broad authority to “[fill] vacancies in the nominations for the office of President and Vice President.” There is a timing issue, as the DNC would have to nominate a new candidate in time to satisfy the states’ various filing deadlines. That works, according to Ballotpedia, as long as the DNC acts quickly after the Democratic Convention, which could be awkward.

Jim Acosta Strikes Blow Against Racism By Seeing How Many Bats He Can Fit In His Mouth | The CNN journalist was worried his station might be flirting with racism since they have reported on the coronavirus scandal even though China would like everyone just to pretend everything is fine. They had even referred to it as the Wuhan virus before China told them to stop. Acosta knew drastic steps had to be taken to show how not-racist he was and prove that CNN was a bastion of love, tolerance, and globalism. So, live on the air this morning, he began solemnly stuffing live bats into his mouth one at a time.
Coronavirus Pandemic: California May Have Developed Greater Herd Immunity We are left with the California paradox. As with the apparent outliers of Germany, South Korea, and Japan, it reminds us that there are endless known unknowns about the origins, lethality, infectiousness, and patterns of travel of the coronavirus — and that today’s latest frightening statistical model is often superseded tomorrow by more realistic appraisals and theories, and then again rendered naïve by even more frightening new backlash models. Until now, without either widespread antibody or current-infection testing, the number of people who die from the virus in comparison to a given population base is about all we can rely on to determine the lethality of the disease. And in that regard, at least for a few days or weeks longer, California remains a mystery.

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  • Andy Havens April 2, 2020, 12:55 PM

    I have peanut butter, mayonnaise, bacon, pickles, and bread on hand. I see a sandwich coming – if I ever get hungry again after my birthday cake lunch.

    I’ve been making soda bread – no raisins or any weirdness – just a little rosemary. Baking soda does the rising, and instead of buttermilk I throw some vinegar into the 2% that we have. So easy it feels like cheating.

    There’s been a lot of carbs in the quarantine.

  • ghostsniper April 2, 2020, 3:01 PM

    lemon juice rather than vinegar tastes a little better

  • Andy Havens April 2, 2020, 3:26 PM

    That makes pretty good sense. I’ve been doing the vinegar thing with pancakes since forever, it’ll be good to see how the lemon juice picks ‘em up. Thanks for the tip.

  • Casey Klahn April 2, 2020, 6:36 PM

    Venison. Turkey. Game hens.

    On VDH’s article, it has been growing on me for the past three days that we are looking at about a 50/50 chance now that China will start a war in the Western Pacific.

    Is it not prudent to ask: what could China gain by staring a biological event? What is China’s interest in the WesternPac, and what would begin their opportunity to gain their objectives? (Hegemony and Taiwan) WTF just happened in LA? A train runs the buffers and tries to hit the USNS Mercy ship in dock? Is the engineer just a garden variety train engineer turned nuts, or is he literally a Manchurian Candidate?

    Protect the force. Forward deploy.

    I am avoiding feelings of animosity against the bat-eaters. Trying to assess what might be happening. Like I said, it’s at 50/50 right now. Or maybe I’m a hammer, and everything I see looks like a nail.

  • Nori April 2, 2020, 11:03 PM

    Thank you,Andy,for no raisins or any weirdness in Irish soda bread. Vinegar works,Ghost’s lemon juice works,but I’m tellin’ ya,buttermilk gives it a soft crumb and bit of tang that does a nice soft-shoe on your taste buds.

    Casey asks the most interesting question:”What could China gain by starting a biological event?”
    Two things spring to mind.
    1. The Hong Kong protests. Enormous pain in the ChineseCommieCollectiveAss. Huge embarrassment on the world stage.
    2. African Swine Flu-Virus. Pigs are a major protein source in China,and their herds are decimated.
    The disease is basically Ebola for pigs. And the virus lasts in frozen meat.

    Rod Serling voice: “Submitted for your consideration…”.

  • Anonymous April 3, 2020, 5:13 AM

    Being as how I’ve dealt with dreamers and telephone screamers for virtually my entire adult life, even to the point of getting kidnapped from retirement to continue the march, I have a deep and abiding affinity for anything by Joni Mitchell.

  • Rob De Witt April 3, 2020, 5:34 PM

    All the above, plus:

    When a man loves cats, I am his friend and comrade, without further introduction.
    – Mark Twain