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Light Fuse and Get Away

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  • ghostsniper June 16, 2020, 12:28 PM

    Fun with cheap Fireworks.
    Most people learn this by about age 12 but maybe you forgot, a little reminder.
    Black cat style of firecracker – comes in hundreds of names, the bigger the better.
    Cuck method: sit cat on ground, light, run like 4 motherfuckers.
    ghost methods:
    1. Hold cat in throwing hand, light, throw it at the cuck.
    2. Jam copper pipe in ground, aim at cucks roof, light cat and drop in pipe, drop marble/de-finned arrow/nails/drywall screws in pipe.
    3. Dip cat in melted wax, immediately roll in BB’s or shattered glass, go find cuck.
    4. Light cat, drop in cucks gas tank, run like 4 MFR’s.
    5. Tape cat to center of cucks sliding glass door, light, r l 4 mfrs.
    6. Aim cat in slingshot at cuck, have friend light cat, launch.

    If you can get em, M-80’s and cherry bombs are waterproof and therefore have a lot more options.
    let your imagination run wild at the cucks expense.

  • julie June 16, 2020, 2:28 PM

    Ghost, you’ve just described most of my childhood 4th of Julys in Washington State. The good fireworks were mostly illegal to buy, so everyone would just go to the Muckleshoot reservation where you could find pretty much anything. When I was young, we lived in the woods not too close to neighbors, but we’d spend the evening dodging Saturn rockets and thinking of new ways to set off the tens of free bottle rockets you’d get with each purchase. Later, we lived in a regular neighborhood, where people in different houses would aim stuff at each other. We’d hold Roman candles in our hands and blast away. It’s a miracle nobody ever ended up in the ER; good times.

    These days, I live in the tinderbox of Southern California. Fireworks go off every night, all night. It starts to get old when you have terrified pets and the worry over wildfires, but there’s not much law to worry about these days, so boom boom boom it is.

  • Callmelennie June 16, 2020, 3:16 PM

    That quote is also attributed to Winston Churchill

  • buddhaha June 16, 2020, 3:44 PM

    “…M-80’s and cherry bombs are waterproof and therefore have a lot more options.”

    Like flushing a lit one on the 3rd floor of a college dorm… and then being billed for four grand worth of damage to the sewer lines, without counting the crap laid upon the perpetrator by the his department head, the Dean of Men, the Dean of Students, etc, etc, etc. Not me, an acquaintance. The guy actually managed to graduate with a Mech E degree.

    The toilet fountains on the second floor were awesome, by report.

  • Chris June 16, 2020, 5:42 PM

    Yeah we use cell phones and thermite now a dayz for that light sheet then run 4 motherfers down with our Prius. Win win. Rinse repeatz…

  • rabbit tobacco June 16, 2020, 9:14 PM

    watch and listen to George Webb

  • Rob De Witt June 16, 2020, 10:16 PM

    Any of you kids grow up around mining country?

    Remember Calcium Carbide for miner’s lamps?

  • James ONeil June 17, 2020, 9:01 AM

    Black Cats? Cherry Bombs? M-80s?
    Personally I prefer Astrolite.

  • Snakepit Kansas June 17, 2020, 10:26 AM

    In junior high some kids drop-flushed an M80 in the boys room which was next to the principal’s office. Yeah, cracked the porcelain made the restroom a mess. They got away with it so they did it again two weeks later, but this time with a home made device that blew up the toilet and flooded the 2nd floor. It was amazing nobody got ratted out on the first event but mouths did not remain shut for long after the repeat effort. KBI showed up and hollered a bunch at the two boys that got fingered for the effort. They avoided any legal consequences and I told them that the cops were just trying to scare them. They replied that the cops had done a real good job of that.