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Rantomatic #9: Eric Peters Types for Me

You’re in Good Hands With Elon. Right? Right

Imagine if your insurance company knew about it immediately every time you drove faster than any speed limit, anywhere. That you failed to come to a complete dead stop at every stop sign before proceeding – regardless of the need to come to a complete dead stop.

Every instance of seatbelt scofflawism.

That you drove eight hours straight to visit friends in another state; that last Thursday, you “accelerated aggressively” while trying to merge with traffic. That you turned off the traction control the other day – and squealed the tires.

And here comes the bill, custom-tailored just for you.

This is what Elon Musk has in mind next. The King of Mandated Business is getting into the insurance business – a logical thing since car insurance is the original mandated business that set the precedent for the rest of them. It’s an even better business than the electric car business because everyone has to buy car insurance, if they own a car – even if it’s not an electric car.

But Elon’s got a a new take on the business. Or rather, a new way to take.

He wants to base premiums not on your record – of accidents and claims – but on data about your driving, mined in real-time as you drive. Which, just by happy coincidence, his cars are fully equipped to provide.

Already do provide.

“The data is there,” smacked the lips of Matthew Edmonds – who is Teslian Head of Insurance, Elon’s new Underboss. “It’s all there; cameras in and all around your car; all of the data points are there.”

Elon knows all. He just hasn’t been able to monetize it, yet.

Wait. — RTWT AT You’re in Good Hands With Elon. Right? Right

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Casey Klahn September 6, 2019, 10:14 AM

    When I was in Italy about 4 years ago, the bus driver who daily toiled to get us around, had a hard disk in a computer on his dashboard. The police would stop him at a roadblock, which only happened to our 14 day group once. At this block, he would surrender the disk, which the cops would then take to a reader. Fuckin’ thing had all of his driving data recorded! If he sped, it recorded the infraction.

    Remember that feeling of freedom that acceleration used to bring? You were 17 years old, and you got behind the wheel of a sedan with anything over 400 c.i., and you rolled down the window and let er rip!

    Your dystopian near future includes not only this digital nanny-record of your actions, but fugget about it! Before you know it your automobile will be driverless.

  • Casey Klahn September 6, 2019, 10:33 AM

    Coulter Wall sings a song @ a cowpoke. One line goes: “No one cares where I go.”

  • Julie September 6, 2019, 1:11 PM

    Talking to a woman I know recently, she was naive enough to try for the Nationwide discount program. You’ve probably seen the commercials, the shrieking harpy going into labor (and various other emergencies) yelling at her husband not to mess with her discount. Turns out, that’s not a joke.

    See, Nationwide helpfully offers an app to install on your phone, to monitor whether you are indeed a safe driver. Lack of previous accidents and tickets doesn’t qualify you as a safe driver under this program. If it notices that you are in a vehicle moving faster than posted speed limits or decelerating too quickly, you start to lose your discount.

    Notably, it doesn’t matter whose vehicle you are in or whether you happen to be driving. Clearly, comrade, you need to choose better associates if you want to keep up that social credit, er, safe driver score. And they damn well better not mess with your discount.

    Of course, safe driving isn’t really what this is about. Elon’s not the first meddler to want to get his fingers into your pie; it’s all too easy to skim money off of people by convincing them to let you fine them “for their own good” for things that probably shouldn’t even be crimes.