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Rantomatic #14: The Great James Lileks Types for Me

The Smoothie Consistency Act of 2020

There seem to be two kinds of stories out of California cities these days: filth and forbiddance.

As for the first, there’s the encampments of the dispossessed, whose population is allowed to roam the streets in the grip of mental illness, and cannot be sent to a place for treatment because “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest” taught us those places are run by sadistic nurses who do not understand how the patient’s illnesses are actually searing commentaries on society. Or the homeless people somehow got addicted to drugs – the details are an absolute mystery – and are thus entitled to shoot up anywhere, because prohibiting someone from jamming a spike in a vein in a playground would have a disparate impact on people who are economically marginalized and struggling with addiction. We can’t commit them to give them treatment, because they have to work this out on their own; the best thing to do is to provide free needles and safe injection locations, where they can incrementally destroy themselves in private, out of sight.

In both cases the real issue is the lack of “affordable housing,” by which they mean housing that can be secured by someone with no means of support who is incapable of holding a job, or spends all their money on intoxicants. Since they have no homes with flush toilets, they use the streets. Good liberals with “Resist!” bumperstickers sulk over stories about typhus-ridden fecal deposits, and wish the one-party government would Do Something. Otherwise they will vote out the ideologically interchangeable politicians and put in some other ideologically interchangeable politicians.


Comments on this entry are closed.

  • ghostsniper October 2, 2019, 4:47 AM

    I’ve never heard the word “smoothie” used by a human being. It’s a sissy word. Everything about it screams “SISSY!” If I actually heard some say smoothie my hand would act of it’s own spontaneous volition and reach right out and slap the speakers face back and forth so fast it would appear as if they were watching a Japanese ping pong game. And then a knee kick to the nadz. I detest that word.

    But I likes me a nice thick vanilla milkshake now and then, so thick no straw need apply.
    “Where my watermelon spoon iz?”

  • TN Tuxedo October 2, 2019, 5:36 AM

    Years from now, when divers locate California’s sunken Ship of State somewhere in the Pacific, they will find ten thousand holes in the hull and the deck chairs properly arranged.

  • Joe October 2, 2019, 5:43 AM

    I have a feeling that Karma is at work here. All that is needed now is a huge wall to keep all Californians in the asylum and let their kiddies play in these streets.

  • jwm October 2, 2019, 7:03 AM

    Laugh and mock to your heart’s contentment.
    Sea Turtle deaths in California landfills are down 27% already, and the law is barely a day old.
    We’re saving the earth here, man.
    (should have held my possum eater’s story for this one.)


  • Casey Klahn October 2, 2019, 7:33 AM

    The divide between thems and us’ns is just sooooo wide. I enjoyed my trip to California last year, and new friends I made there (on a professional but also a personal level). but the projection of social and political shitz coming from there is so sick. We get it up here in Washington; I don;t know why our failure of a governor isn’t just a hack bureaucrat in Sacramento.

    Regulate my smoovie, will you? Don’t you have some governing to do, you useless suitsack???

  • ambiguousfrog October 3, 2019, 8:16 AM

    The people standing behind him show uncertainty in their expressions. The gal to the left is saying to herself, am I really hearing what I think I’m hearing? The others look like they’d be willing to drown on the Poseidon with the councilman.

    This was actually on an OTA channel last night.
    Of course Archie was portrayed as a moron: