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Prophetic MyPillow Moment comes closer to Old Slack Joe

Dear me, it was only a couple of weeks back that we were (jokingly for sure) discussing a MyPillow political solution in DC: The Passing of a President  :

  Good morning sire,” said Agent Jeeves (“sire” being their little joke) as he went to lift up President’s MyPillow. It snagged and, lifting came away from the kind old president’s face with his dentures clamped deeply into the now gnawed and ripped MyPillowCase. Jeeves stepped back calmly and sent a quick text to the Vice President’s phone in a bedroom on the Oprah Winfrey estate in Maui, “Delaware down. Wheels up in one hour. Wear black. Bring out the Jackie Kennedy style veil we packed for you.”

Jeeves poked his head out of the door and nodded to the carefully vetted Secret Service guards in the hall, “Get Op NewKidInTown launched.” He closed the door behind them as the guards went to alert the President’s Coroner in his jump seat one floor down.

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • jwm August 29, 2021, 10:13 AM

    Out of the frying pan…
    We’re living a cliche come true.
    So remind me what comes next.


    • Tom Hyland August 29, 2021, 10:16 AM

      Here’s what could be next. James Howard Kunstler has written a sobering possibility.

      • Kevin in PA August 29, 2021, 10:49 AM

        He is done. No doubt about it. It just comes down to when and how.

        In my mind, the most fitting end for Biden and the best thing for nation is to ask Nursie Jill to hand him a revolver with one round in the chamber.
        Tell him to go in the closet and play Russian roulette.
        No oatmeal until you finish, Joey.

      • jwm August 29, 2021, 11:05 AM

        Thanks, Tom.
        Now excuse me while I go find me some medicine.


  • Kevin in PA August 29, 2021, 10:41 AM

    My immediate thought when I read the headline with “My Pillow Moment” in it….Biden being snuffed with a Super-King-Size My Pillow, by none other than his nursie dear Jill.

    ….Leading to thoughts of Kamalalala being assassinated by Pelosi. Followed by General Milly being assassinated by his muslim house-boy….who then goes on to murder Mike and Barry….which leads back to the Clintons, where we learn that Chelsea has murdered Bill and Hill.

    • John Venlet August 29, 2021, 10:58 AM

      A man’s gotta dream, Kevin.

      • Kevin in PA August 29, 2021, 11:11 AM

        It keeps me from…..
        I dare not say.

  • Mike Austin August 29, 2021, 11:02 AM

    It was 37 AD. The place was the Isle of Capri, an island where the doddering, demented and decayed Roman Emperor Tiberius was living out his final days. With him was Gaius Caesar Augustus Germanicus, soon to be the next emperor. He was a callow lad of 25 and, if that were possible, already as degenerate as Tiberius.

    One day in March of that year a slave came running out of Tiberius’ bedroom, screaming “The emperor is dead! The emperor is dead!” Gaius Caesar Augustus Germanicus went to investigate and, sure enough, Tiberius lay in his bed, unmoving and with eyes closed. Since Gaius Caesar Augustus Germanicus was the designated heir, all those around proclaimed, “Hail Gaius Caesar Augustus Germanicus! Our new emperor!”

    At that moment the slave checked on Tiberius, who was sitting up in his bed asking for his supper. This embarrassing situation was remedied when Gaius Caesar Augustus Germanicus directed the head of the Praetorian Guard, one Macro, to deal with the matter. Macro went into Tiberius’ bedroom and smothered him with—wait for it—a pillow. Problem solved.

    Gaius Caesar Augustus Germanicus is known to History as Caligula.

    • PA Cat August 29, 2021, 11:45 AM

      Caligula (aka “little soldier’s boot”) also figures in a satire on the death of the Roman Emperor Claudius– attributed to Seneca, the Apocolocyntosis (divi) Claudii or “The Pumpkinification of the Divine Claudius” recounts the death of Claudius, his personal failings, his judgment by the gods, and his banishment to Hades, where he is greeted by the ghosts of the friends he had murdered.

      The description of Claudius’ death sounds custom-made for Old Slack Joe: “And he really did bubble up the ghost at last, and that was the end even of the old pretence that he was alive. (He passed away while listening to a performance given by some comedians, so now you know that I have good cause to be wary of the profession.) The last words that he was heard to utter in this world followed immediately upon a tremendous noise from the part of his body with which he always talked most readily. They were: ‘O good Heavens, I believe I’ve made a mess of myself!’ Whether this was actually so or not, I cannot say: but everyone agrees that he always made a mess of things.”

      Caligula comes in at the end of the satire, claiming that Claudius is one of his slaves: “Suddenly who should come in but Gaius Caligula. ‘Why, that’s a slave of mine,’ said Caligula. ‘I claim him!’ He produced witnesses who testified that they had often seen him flogging Claudius with whips and birch-rods, and knocking him about with his fists. So the claim was allowed, and Claudius was handed over to his master.”

      “The Pumpkinification” is a long piece by modern standards, but can be found in its entirety here:

  • Mike Austin August 29, 2021, 1:59 PM

    Dear PA Cat:

    Ancient History is my passion, second only to the Latin Mass Catholic Church. It seems to be yours as well.

    Seneca was being unkind in that play. It was Caligula, after all, who ordered him to commit suicide. True, Claudius banished Seneca to Corsica but only after he was accused with improper “dalliances” with females of the royal family. True or not, the Senate had ordered his execution but Claudius was merciful. And it was Claudius who recalled him to the court.

    Seneca was tormented in the last years of his life. He knew he was serving at the behest of Evil—Nero himself. He could not find a way in all of his works on philosophy to find an escape route. He was too attached to his material goods, his reputation and his power. What he said about his condition is one of the saddest lines in all of History:

    “I know the Good but I cannot do it. I follow behind on all fours with hands outstretched.”

    Finally these inner torments came to an end when Nero ordered that he commit suicide. I like to imagine that Seneca went to his end greatly relieved.

    I recommend “Dying Every Day” by James Romm. The title of that book alone sums up well Seneca’s thoughts while at Nero’s court.

  • Vanderleun August 29, 2021, 3:08 PM

    Someday I shall tell the tale of how I, working as the European publisher of Penthouse in the late 70s, spent much of my time in the London studios cutting endless checks for the movie Caligula and some afternoons being one of the chorus that, for the soundtrack of the Coliseum , chanted over and over “CaligulaCaligulaCaligulaCaligula CaligulaCaligulaCaligula CaligulaCaligulaCaligula!!!”

    • Mike Austin August 30, 2021, 7:47 AM

      If I were in a public place and Caligula appeared, I would shout, “Caligula! Caligula! Caligula!” too. Not taking any chances with that maniac. After all, he thought he was a god.

      After four years the Praetorians had had enough of Caligula’s antics. The shoved a sword into his abdomen through his genitals. The wags of the day said, “That’s when Caligula learned he was not a god.”

  • Tom Hyland August 29, 2021, 3:20 PM

    Meanwhile in modern times…. America’s Most Highest Empress Wannabe is spotted strolling the coastline with Her Most Depressed Consort. This is America’s fun couple. Did everything work out the way they wanted? Thank God not.

    • Kevin in PA August 29, 2021, 3:42 PM

      Come on now, Tom.
      Food and drink warning is always appropriate for the first female, democrat nominee to lose the presidential election (and who will never achieve her dream of being dictator of America), but gawd that beached whale looks like it may be starting to stink!
      Note Bill how remains upwind, as does the SS agent.

    • Mike Austin August 30, 2021, 6:27 AM

      A truly ghastly photo of a truly ghastly couple. How the Clintons are today is because of choices they freely made decades ago. They have the bodies they so justly deserve. They give the word “decay” a deeper meaning.

      Imagine if someone could have shown the Clintons this photo 30 years ago. Would they still have chosen the path of power, of status, of lust? My guess? Of course.

  • Annie Rose August 30, 2021, 6:39 AM

    And it came to pass that after a very valiant fight and despite his doctors’ heroic efforts, he succumbed to the latest covid variant, which he caught from an unvaccinated, Trump insurrectionist villain with freshly shampooed hair sent by Putin to infect him. His final words were, “Darn that sweet smelling hair. I should have rounded them all up into work camps sooner.”

  • Dan August 30, 2021, 7:52 PM

    Now the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain to which Jesus had directed them. And when they saw him they worshiped him, but some doubted.

    And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you.

    And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”