WHEN in the course of human Events, it becomes necessary….
Prayers for Remus
byVanderleunonMarch 18, 2020
Woodpile Report As you know, my beloved and precious wife passed away Friday, peacefully, in her sleep, after a long and trying illness. I humbly and gratefully thank my friends and readers for their condolences and prayers. Yer ol’ Woodpile Report will return.
Readers here have noted this for several days but I wanted to wait until Remus himself posted.
I recall being in mourning for the death of my first marriage for several years; indeed those early years of the 1990s are a blur to me now. And I was only mourning the death of a marriage and the death of a family unit that slowly at first and then very rapidly receded out of my life. My second marriage was much briefer and the end of it was, alas, foreordained from the beginning. All that said I cannot begin to know the grief of this sort of passing in a man’s life. In a sense, I do not have to know it now but I am not pleased nor am I resigned.
You were the love For certain of my life You were simply my beloved wife I don’t know for certain How I’ll live my life Now alone without my beloved wife My beloved wife
May the Lord bless her and keep her. Prayers for Remus as well.
I could face my own death easier than I could face the loss of my wife.
JWM
ghostsniperMarch 18, 2020, 6:13 PM
I HAVE to go first.
Without her there is no me.
D S CraftMarch 18, 2020, 8:41 PM
But ghost, if you go first then you leave your wife with the agony of losing you. If she loves you as much as you do her, do you want to leave her to suffer as you would if she left you first? But of course you can’t wish her death so that you can survive. I’ve been struggling with this question for some time now and like you, losing my wife would be the end of me. But, I think she kinda likes me and I would gladly take the pain so that she doesn’t have to. Unfortunately, I don’t think that will be the case.
ghostsniperMarch 19, 2020, 4:54 AM
DS Craft, it’s a choice we don’t get to make, and a hope that confounds us.
As we age we appreciate what we have.
Ds Craft & Ghostsniper:
I too have wrestled with the same question. It sounds like all three of us have been richly blessed in marriage.
I was thinking hard on it this last summer. I was out on the bike path alone, stopped for a couple of blasts on the pipe, and thought, “You know, I pray I’m the first one of us to go,”. Then I got smacked upside the head.
If you go, then she is widowed for the second time.
If you go there will never be anyone who could love to the depth that you love her.
If you go what if she becomes ill? Who would be there for her? Who could possibly give her the care that you would bestow on her?
Would you let her die alone so you don’t have to grieve? If you’re so sure you want to go first, how about right this minute? That stent could give out. They don’t call what you had the widowmaker for nothing. You could get smacked by a car before you get home. Do you want her to have to see a cop at the door with bad news?
So I relented. I still fear losing her more than I fear my own death. But I entered this miraculous marriage that I have “for better or worse”. I’ll take what the Lord dishes out whatever it may be, and pray to understand His will.
JWM
BlogDogMarch 19, 2020, 7:42 PM
Ghostsniper, D S Craft, it is the essential problem of the life-long love. My mother told me of her mother who, after her father passed away (slipped into a diabetic coma one night after dinner and was gone in about two weeks), just faded herself and was gone within six months. She could not live without him. And I then saw my mother who lost my dad unexpectedly (“routine” surgery did not go to plan and a heart condition that seemed minor took him as he was in the recovery room) just start to go before my eyes as a cancer that she had been unaware of ravaged her and she was gone within months herself. And I realized that all the little picking they had done at each other in those later years was just incidental and the residue of years. I saw how much she loved him when she was unable to keep going with him gone. It brings tears to my eyes to this day.
I have not had that deep connection in my life but I still maintain an open heart. I have seen what it can be.
Teri PittmanMarch 20, 2020, 10:46 AM
I lost my second husband on January 23rd. It was unexpected. He had internal bleeding, caused by undiagnosed liver disease. He held on long enough for his son to make to the hospital from the coast. He was 68. I could not have made it through the death of my first husband, without his help. We both lost our spouses in 2008 and met in the ICU waiting room, when they were being treated. And we had 10 good years together, but it hurts. There is no easy way to deal with the loss of a spouse and the marriage you had together. You just have to try and deal with it one day at a time.
Real World Address for Donations, Mash Notes and Hate Mail
Gerard Van der Leun
1692 MANGROVE AVE
APT 379
Chico, Ca 95926
Green Pants Interior by Klahn
Who Am I? by Carl Sandburg
My head knocks against the stars.
My feet are on the hilltops.
My finger-tips are in the valleys and shores of universal life.
Down in the sounding foam of primal things I reach my hands and play with pebbles of destiny.
I have been to hell and back many times.
I know all about heaven, for I have talked with God.
I dabble in the blood and guts of the terrible.
I know the passionate seizure of beauty
And the marvelous rebellion of man at all signs reading “Keep Off.”
My name is Truth and I am the most elusive captive in the universe.
Duty, Beauty, Liberty, Country, Honor, Family, Faith — Plus a few simple easy to follow rules for guys
Men saw the stars at the edge of the sea
They thought great thoughts about liberty
Poets wrote down words that did fit
Writers wrote books
Thinkers thought about it
Take it where you find it
Can’t leave it alone
You will find a purpose
To carry it on
Mainly when you find it
Your heart will be strong
About it
Many’s the road I have walked upon
Many’s the hour between dusk and dawn
Many’s the time
Many’s the mile
I see it all now
Through the eyes of a child
Take it where you find it
Can’t leave it alone
You will find a purpose
To carry it on
Mainly when you find it
Your heart will be strong
About it
[Chorus]
Lost dreams and found dreams
In America
In America
In America
Lost dreams and found dreams
In America
In America
In America
And close your eyes
Leave it all for a while
Leave the world
And your worries behind
You will build on whatever is real
And wake up each day
To a new waking dream
Take it where you find it
Can’t leave it alone
You will find a purpose
To carry it on
Mainly when you find it
Your heart will be strong
About it
[Chorus]
Change, change come over
Change come over
Talkin’ about a change
Change, change
Change come over, now
Change, change, change come over
I’m gonna walk down the street
Until I see
My shining light
I’m gonna walk down the street
Until I see
My shining light
I’m gonna walk down the street
Until I see
My shining light
I’m gonna walk down the street
Until I see
My shining light
I see my light
See my light
See my shining light
I see my light
See my light
See my shining light
Gerard Van der Leun
Comments on this entry are closed.
God bless and thanks for the info. Savor and cherish the memories.
Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi, dona eis requiem sempiternam.
That’s the most beautiful pictorial tribute to a dearly departed loved one I’ve ever seen!!
May the Lord bless her and keep her. Prayers for Remus as well.
I could face my own death easier than I could face the loss of my wife.
JWM
I HAVE to go first.
Without her there is no me.
But ghost, if you go first then you leave your wife with the agony of losing you. If she loves you as much as you do her, do you want to leave her to suffer as you would if she left you first? But of course you can’t wish her death so that you can survive. I’ve been struggling with this question for some time now and like you, losing my wife would be the end of me. But, I think she kinda likes me and I would gladly take the pain so that she doesn’t have to. Unfortunately, I don’t think that will be the case.
DS Craft, it’s a choice we don’t get to make, and a hope that confounds us.
As we age we appreciate what we have.
Ds Craft & Ghostsniper:
I too have wrestled with the same question. It sounds like all three of us have been richly blessed in marriage.
I was thinking hard on it this last summer. I was out on the bike path alone, stopped for a couple of blasts on the pipe, and thought, “You know, I pray I’m the first one of us to go,”. Then I got smacked upside the head.
If you go, then she is widowed for the second time.
If you go there will never be anyone who could love to the depth that you love her.
If you go what if she becomes ill? Who would be there for her? Who could possibly give her the care that you would bestow on her?
Would you let her die alone so you don’t have to grieve? If you’re so sure you want to go first, how about right this minute? That stent could give out. They don’t call what you had the widowmaker for nothing. You could get smacked by a car before you get home. Do you want her to have to see a cop at the door with bad news?
So I relented. I still fear losing her more than I fear my own death. But I entered this miraculous marriage that I have “for better or worse”. I’ll take what the Lord dishes out whatever it may be, and pray to understand His will.
JWM
Ghostsniper, D S Craft, it is the essential problem of the life-long love. My mother told me of her mother who, after her father passed away (slipped into a diabetic coma one night after dinner and was gone in about two weeks), just faded herself and was gone within six months. She could not live without him. And I then saw my mother who lost my dad unexpectedly (“routine” surgery did not go to plan and a heart condition that seemed minor took him as he was in the recovery room) just start to go before my eyes as a cancer that she had been unaware of ravaged her and she was gone within months herself. And I realized that all the little picking they had done at each other in those later years was just incidental and the residue of years. I saw how much she loved him when she was unable to keep going with him gone. It brings tears to my eyes to this day.
I have not had that deep connection in my life but I still maintain an open heart. I have seen what it can be.
I lost my second husband on January 23rd. It was unexpected. He had internal bleeding, caused by undiagnosed liver disease. He held on long enough for his son to make to the hospital from the coast. He was 68. I could not have made it through the death of my first husband, without his help. We both lost our spouses in 2008 and met in the ICU waiting room, when they were being treated. And we had 10 good years together, but it hurts. There is no easy way to deal with the loss of a spouse and the marriage you had together. You just have to try and deal with it one day at a time.