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Planning to Catch a Broadway Show in the Big Apple? Go Quick.

Sound familiar? “Don’t go outside until officials say it’s safe.” And her smug little smile on scene shifts inside the $10 million loft is a cute touch.

Advice from the Big Baked Apple. And, yes, this looks to be legit. Plan accordingly. Note that they want you to get back inside and start washing and cleaning yourself and everything around you. That includes the molten glass in your window frames.

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  • Casey Klahn July 12, 2022, 2:47 PM

    Klahn’s rule no.#1 of surviving a nuclear blast. Don’t be near one when it goes off.

    After that, take cover behind thick concrete or steel late or earth. She’s right, don’t let the ash get on you. If you have any warning time, like 10 minutes, bury a radio about 2 ft down. Perhaps a laptop or cell phone but do have a radio. Don’t look at the blast. I know; it’s pretty. It’ll be the last pretty thing your ruined eyes will see.

    No#1 rule of survival in any event: have a never say die attitude. Once you start to lose that attitude, it’s a ticket to failure. Don’t allow others to say defeatist shit.

    Best of luck.

  • It's Showtime July 12, 2022, 3:05 PM

    All NYC comrades will share their cardboard box breakdown bunker supplied by the health department in the spirit of egalitarian equity.
    Broadway is a construct of the white male patriarchy and will be destroyed by any means necessary.

  • Bill Henry July 12, 2022, 3:54 PM

    Notice the strong, short haired, slightly lesbian, super intelligent, independent, black woman is ,telling you how to save yourself …

  • tim July 12, 2022, 4:17 PM

    As long as the Yankees are on a road trip when this happens…

  • Dirk July 12, 2022, 4:39 PM

    Could we get so lucky? I’m sure their are few good folk their, perhaps Russia could call them give em a head start.

    • wmprof July 13, 2022, 6:45 PM

      The hive. Parents from West Orange, lived one of my best years there in 63 while Pops ( Retired Capt – USMC) was overseas. No idea it was that deep in the hive. My how times have changed. .. sucks getting old. Not running, will shoot first.

  • Jack July 13, 2022, 7:27 AM

    Back when I was a kid in school our teachers told us to get into the hallway, sit against the wall and put our heads between our legs. Later along in life we added the idea of kissing our asses goodbye. That’s a funny way of dealing with a morbid idea.

    Back then I could have probably done that but today I’m old, crippled up and I can barely find my ass with both hands. I’ve got the idea that being within range of a nuke blast would be such a life altering event that it would not matter what one might do. For my own part in the drama, I would simply hate being discovered, burned to a nice KFC style crisp while kissing my own ass. So, I’ve decided that I’m gonna stand up, lay my ears back and take my nuke blast like a little man.

  • OneGuy July 13, 2022, 1:25 PM

    This is a very complicated issue.

    First, it is unlikely to be one nuke or two. What is the only rational response to any nation that nukes one of our major cities? So Russia could not and would not use one nuke. If they nuke us it will likely be 2000 or more nukes with a follow-up to destroy whatever was missed.

    Our policy is to not ever launch nukes first AND to wait until after a nuke attack is over to respond (if anything is left). We would respond with a similar number of nukes (again if anything is left). Most Americans would probably survive the initial nuclear attack BUT would die in the following weeks to months from radioactive side effects, starvation, and health/medical problems, not to mention the thugs and gangs that would become common.

    Russia (and China) have built extensive bomb shelters for men and equipment, even for critical industries. The U.S. has virtually nothing to protect its population or infrastructure. In the event of nuclear war you may or may not kiss your ass goodbye but it will be going away anyway. Estimates are that in a full nuclear exchange (and for reasons I have already stated that is the only likely scenario). between 1-2 billion people would die within a month or two, almost all of them in the Northern Hemisphere. This would be the end of the world as you know it.

    • Dirk July 14, 2022, 9:02 AM

      Anybody expecting uncle sugar or other to provide, shelter, food or water, protection meds, is already dead. Many here have seen this coming for decades, “I suspect your in that crowd”, if they have not put together a survival package, nice knowing them.

      • OneGuy July 14, 2022, 3:07 PM

        You are not wrong. I wouldn’t choose to go in a government shelter if they even had them. But the point is Russia and China spent a lot of money, time and effort to make sure that their essential industries, military and workers would survive. We have spent diddly squat in the last 60 years to do the same. Maybe a few million for a fallout shelter for the president and some of congress but that’s it. The point is the Russians and Chinese plan to survive a nuke war and that only makes a nuke war more likely. It is a “tell” we can’t afford to ignore.

  • Mark Matis July 14, 2022, 4:49 AM

    So what’s not to like if the Big Craphole gets free street lighting for a thousand years?
    The world would be far better off!

  • Bilejones July 14, 2022, 9:06 AM

    The map looks like a good start. I assume arrangements have been made to take out the Hamptons?

  • Andrew R July 16, 2022, 5:57 AM

    I had to laugh at “3. Stay Tuned…” etc.. What makes officials in NYC think that any local TV, radio and cell phone networks will still be up and running after getting nuked? Casey K is right, do have a radio, but it’s gonna be picking up a station from an area that wasn’t hit. OneGuy is right too. If NYC is nuked, it won’t be one weapon, it’ll be a bunch. And it’s likely that NYC won’t be the only city. So odn’t live in a big city or one of its close ‘burbs.

  • WDS July 16, 2022, 9:43 AM

    Back in April, the BBC was warning their citizens about the use of nukes. This week NYC came out with their PSA and now NJ has floor signs in shopping malls about what to do in case of a nuke strike.