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Pearl Harbor Attack News Report: An Update in 1942

“Will cast its shadow on Nippon’s very shores.”

A live news report as the attack is going on.

“Once again, like it’s 1940 all over again,

we have the weakest, most inept, hollow, incapable, and underwhelmingly weak land, sea, and air forces of any time since that day.

Once again, we’ve let a pipsqueak nation from the region get to a position of being able to threaten our interests and our national safety, largely through disinterest and pure chicken-shitted short-sightedness in our nominal leadership.

And once again, we’ve forgotten the proper way to deal with intransigent militant religious fanatics, by explaining our side of the argument to them by the kiloton, using the White Ball Of Enlightenment.

Mark my words: because of our national policy of head-up-the-ass stupidity and a national memory shorter than the presidency of William Henry Harrison, we’ll end up having to surge up a massive war machine, rebuild a massive naval fleet, re-learn large-scale amphibious assault and island-hopping tactics, get involved in another land war in Asia, and pop nukes on cities to get certain peoples’ attention, and settle the argument. All over again.” Raconteur Report: How Quickly We Forget

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  • Gordon December 7, 2017, 12:46 PM

    Back on Dec. 7, 1941, my grandfather and my uncle, both namesakes of mine, were hunting sandhill cranes way out of town in eastern New Mexico. When the news of the attack came on the radio, my grandmother made some calls and headed for the office of the newspaper, published by her husband, and edited by her brother. She rounded up enough of the staff to get the Linotype going, and the type set for the first of three EXTRA! editions that Sunday. She had one staffer drive up to Clovis, because that larger paper had a United Press teletype, so that guy brought back more copy.

    That was the first, and last, extra editions that newspaper ever did. By the time my grandfather and uncle returned, she had sent the staff back home and shut down the office. Her mother, a tiny thing whom I never got to meet, once faced down a huge kid with a knife in the one-room school she taught. I come from tough stock.

  • Casey Klahn December 7, 2017, 5:30 PM

    The picture of the veteran at the end of the post tells the whole story. Remember. Remember with emotions of grief and of flushed pride. My father. My father. The Greatest Generation.
    If needed, we will have to take on Kim’s Korea. My prayer day and night is no; my manhood says yes, if we must. I am certain God shakes his head in regret, disquiet, and disgust, that a war would again be waged for human emotions that somehow we should be too big to feel.
    It will be a biggie, that you’ll have to digest and make no mistake. My military mind searches for the scenario and predictions of what takes place first, then second, then, then… That all depends on the very first moves. Kim must have his sovereignty, and continued communist governance. We must have the end of nuclear forces in North Korea, and the counter to Kim: no more communist state on the Korean peninsula. If war breaks out, that is. If it is contained, by nothing less than God’s hand of mercy, then we can be happy with containment of Kim’s nuclear arms growth. Time is on our side, because communism is on the wane worldwide. Communism must grow to survive (a capital fact).
    The whole world remembers how America dominated the world after 1941. Our GDP was greater than the entire Allied and Axis powers by 1945. We produced more war material than all the allies put together by 1945. We: one does not fuck with us. That much is known.

  • Gordon December 7, 2017, 8:08 PM

    Heh. In Martin van Creveld’s Hitler in Hell, the author quotes the Fuehrer looking back on the war. Hitler says the Germans called the Sherman tank the Ronson, as they could always count on lighting it up. But he said Germany ran out of shells before the Allies ran out of Shermans.

  • Callmlenniee December 8, 2017, 5:47 AM

    Wow! Numerous inaccuracies in that report. Not necessarily for propaganda purposes, but due to a fundamental ignorance of military matters. They seem to believe that it was the midget subs that wreaked so much havoc, when in actuality it was fighter bombers modified to drop a single torpedo. The ships sitting in a narrow waterway were helpless against this tactic.

    They also believe that it was the Arizona’s fuel oil that exploded, and not the gunpowder in its magazine. You’d have to be completely ignorant of all things military to believe that fuel oil could tear apart a battleship. In their defense, it would seem, at first glance, to be a possible explanation as the actual reason would also have been considered highly implausible. What was unknown at the time was that the bomb that struck the Arizona was not a standard ariel bomb, which would not have penetrated the Arizona’s deck, but a 15 in artillery shell from a battleship which had armor piercing capability.

    One last bit of inaccuracy, which may have been intentional, was the idea that the crew of the Arizona shook off the assault and fought back, which is sadly not true. Almost everyone on the AZ was killed instantly