Open thread 6/16/23

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• ghostsniper June 16, 2023, 8:35 AM

  Last time I saw my dad was 43 years ago and we weren’t getting along.

  My dad told me when I was in my teens that when his dad died they weren’t getting along and he always regretted it. I swore to myself that I would never let that happen.

  Years later the situation became tense and to the point that him and I were going to physically fight or I would have to leave.

  I left.

  5 months later he died and I was living on the other side of the country.
  I’m older now, and a little smarter so sometimes I think that maybe if I had tried harder, things would have been different.

  Regret may be the worst thing in this life.

  ∞
• Casey Klahn June 16, 2023, 9:16 AM

  Certainly a cautionary tale from Ghost. I wish I knew what to tell ya to make that wound feel better, but glad you shared about it.

  Father’s Day was invented in Spokane, WA (nearby) and it’s a commercial deal. But, I enjoy it. Think I’ll grill some big ribeyes.

  ∞
  • ghostsniper June 16, 2023, 10:42 AM

    My dad died when he was 47 from a heart attack and I was 25. It was unexpected. I thought he was invincible. Then, we both had all the time in the world to iron out our differences. We were both to blame. He was impatient, I was fresh out of 4 years in the army. We each had our own ideas and they didn’t match. He tried to guide me but I was on my own path. Neither of us were very wrong, but we were different. This is something I ponder frequently. For 10 years after he died I thought of my dad at least once every day, then one day I noticed that I hadn’t thought of him for awhile, maybe a few days. Now, I think of him now and then and time has taken the sharp edges off. I see things better and slower now and petty things don’t bother me so much. I believe we would get along now. My dad never got to meet my wife or our son. He never seen me get my architecture degree, start my business, become successful or design and build my own home. Our son never met his grandfather. So much loss, mostly needless. I don’t know if this could have went differently. We were who we were. I am now 21 years older than my dad was when he died. Both of my younger brothers are dead from heart attacks. Both of my younger sisters are in poor health and my mother has been dead for 12 years. I am the last one (maybe) and I didn’t try to do that. Now you know what I do when I sit on the porch and say I am watching the birds. I think…and I remember…and I think some more.

    ∞
    • Casey Klahn June 16, 2023, 1:24 PM

      I suspected you’d say you two could’ve mended fences if time had allowed. I can see that a hundred percent, and I know you would have.

      For those out there reading, who’ve estranged their families or been estranged, tell the one you need to tell that you love them. Do it soon. Do it Father’s Day.

      My dad just barely got to meet my future wife, and she was there a bit later when he passed. My dad told the nurses that Lorie was his daughter – he could tell lies like that to frustrate hospital staff in petty rules. They really liked one another and it was instant, and my wife the nurse (then girlfriend) helped me through the difficult time of watching my father pass. He went at age 69, which is way too young. I think my grandfather on dad’s side also went young. They lived hard lives, and when I say that I mean fukn hard.

      When I get past 69 (I’m 64) I will breath a sigh of relief. Also, this year, in September, we’ll celebrate dad’s 100th year since birth. Of course, I will be out of town working, but I think that would make him happy. We can always celebrate it.

      ∞
      • ghostsniper June 16, 2023, 1:55 PM

        You’re lucky. When you mention anything about your dad to your wife she has a frame of reference. I’d pay big money to have that for my wife, instead of just some 2D photo’s.

        On MY day I’m gonna sip some suds, shoot some guns and play some loud assed guitars, then in the evening I’m gonna slam some dead animal flesh on the fire. I got a new Marshall amp recently and haven’t yet turned it up to 11 cause inside my office it is just too dam loud. So I’m going to roll it out into the driveway and light it up. My understanding is that under full pressure it’ll snarl and growl like a wild animal with a 999volt tazer up it’s ass – barely controllable. I can’t wait. I’ll start off with this’n:
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sFv42YyigUg&list=RDsFv42YyigUg&start_radio=1

        ∞
• Joe Krill June 16, 2023, 4:06 PM

  A poem I had on the back of my business card for over 46 years. Had cards made for our Legion post with same poem on it.
  WHY?
  Why do we wait till a person’s gone before we tell them their worth?
  Why do we wait, why not tell them now they are the finest person on earth?
  Why do we wait until a person’s gone to send them flowers galore
  When a single rose would have meant so much if we’d taken it to their door?
  Why do we wait till they cannot hear the good things that we might say?
  Why put it off, why not tell them now and share in their joy today?
  Of course we’re busy, that’s our excuse, but why, oh why do we wait
  To tell a person our love for them until it becomes too late?

  ∞
  • Terry June 16, 2023, 9:44 PM

    Thank you Joe. My father passed December 20th. He was 98. I loved him dearly and know he is now in a better place.

    ∞
• Mike Seyle June 16, 2023, 5:06 PM

  Joe Krill: Thank you for that. I agree. After seeing some friends a few weeks ago, I sent them a letter (a real snail-mail letter!) that ends with this:

  “And in closing, at Mass this morning Father Justin referred to the reading, Luke 8: 16-18, saying that we are meant to be a lamp, illuminating the way to Christ so that all who look on us will be uplifted. It’s how I see both of you. It’s a blessing to me whenever I’m with you, where I feel peace and know love. You guys are headlights on a Mac truck, plowing through the dark night at 90 mph and throwing light like two groups of frantic boys in a snowball fight.”

  When’s the last time we’ve sent a letter that carried a stamp? Or received one? A letter that unabashedly transmits love.

  ∞
• Rev.Bro. Generik Broderick June 16, 2023, 6:23 PM

  I tell my dear olde Mom alla travails my son raisings entail. We laugh and laugh.

  Politics, covid shot controversey, other vaccines as well over the years, etc etc, have all been wedges. I am the weirdo, for sure. Happy Father’s Day all you Magnificent B-tards

  ∞
• ghostsniper June 17, 2023, 6:52 PM

  White privilege didn’t give us any advantage over others; white achievement did.
  And that is what drives them to madness.

  ∞
• ghostsniper June 18, 2023, 2:10 PM

  Having not seen it before, tonights supper-movie will be “The Patriot” 2000, with Mel Gibson.
  Almost 3 hours long, and my inability to stay in one place too long, the flik may be broken into 2 pieces, half tonight and the rest tomorrow night.

  I’ve had 2 giant monsanto breasts swimming in a mesquite based marinade in the fridge all day and they will get slammed on the fire after the proper number of tallboys have been consumed, accompanied by egg-potato salad and sweet cole slaw. DAWG!

  ∞
• Rob Muir June 18, 2023, 2:25 PM

  My Dad’s been gone for 12 and a half years. He was 81 and went out after 5 years of having both legs amputated above the knee due to diabetes. Even with all that, my sister and I would take him to a pool most Saturdays. The pool had a hoist that we could get him into and let him swim around for a bit.

  About 5 years before his surgeries, I got a different job and moved the family to Tucson to be near them. That got me out of California, so a definite win-win there. My mom passed about 6 years ago.

  I wanted to make sure I had no regrets with respect to my parents, and I got as close as I could. I’ve been a lucky guy, especially since my wife has been patient with me in these efforts.

  ∞
• Steve June 18, 2023, 5:08 PM

  My earliest clear memory of my father was when I was 4, standing in the kitchen, and looking up to him standing by a table, imagining how old and wise he must be. He was 26.

  When I was 30, standing in our kitchen, my 4-year-old son looked up to me and asked me a question. I can’t even recall the question. I only recall the immediate memory of imagining how old and wise my father seemed to me when I was 4, and how completely dependent I was on him. And here I was looking down at my own son, age 4, who must have be feeling the same. I suddenly felt very, very old and grown-up and experienced an intense sensation of responsibility for my children.

  Now all the kids are grown, but I never stop feeling responsible for their well-being. Nor do any of us with kids. And now I have the joy (and worry) of feeling responsible for my grand kids.

  My father died at age 83, and when he died, I know he was still concerned for his kids, his grandchildren, and his great grandchildren. Being a dad never ends.

  ∞
• azlibertarian June 20, 2023, 8:29 AM

  I, for one, had a great Father’s Day. Mrs. azlib and son-of-azlib took me to the range, where we spent some time punching little holes into appropriately-distanced sheets of paper stapled to cardboard. Mrs. azlib doesn’t get to the range all that often, but she did fine. Son-of-azlib and I were both placing our holes into fist-sized groups at 100 yds, and we were both happy with that. This time of year, we do our outdoor adventuring early in the morning, and so we were done by 9:30. Late breakfast was bacon and eggs….nothing fancy….but then we’re not fancy, so that pretty much describes us too. We ate no lunch, but our early dinner was a spatchcocked turkey (never tried that before), quinoa, squash and carrots.

  Life is good, especially if you try to make it so.

  ∞