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Of Donations: Recalled to Life

Thro’ many dangers, toils and snares,
I have already come;
’Tis grace has brought me safe thus far,
And grace will lead me home.

Since the inception of this page some seventeen years and 30,000 items ago, I have never aggressively pursued donations. Because this page was started in Manhatten within a week of 9/11 as a memorial it never seemed quite right to me even after it diverged far from those dark beginnings. As a result, I have never really pursued the path of, as they say, monetizing the page.

I’d like to say that was because I was noble but in the last few days I have learned, yet again, that pretty little lies are no way to go through life and to see oneself.

The truth is that I have never been either very smart about or interested in “monetizing” anything.

Some people are brilliant at business and it has been my privilege to know some of these people personally. Because I am such a dollar dullard, I have sometimes gone for many many months without even glancing at my Paypal account since there was, in truth, never all that much in it.

Indeed I have been always been a dollar dullard when it comes to money, even in these years when my income has become  “fixed” enough for me to feel a bit of a cold wind on my shoulders.

With that rambling confession out of the way, I declare now that the donations that have been given to me over the last few days have made the difference between the dark thoughts of a mind of winter that overwhelmed me as I fled the fire this time and enough of a boost to make the possibility of rebooting my life seem real and tangible and possible.

So many people have been so generous to me that, in truth, it has caused me to weep with a relief and a gratitude that bursts my heart. It will be many weeks before I can possibly thank them all personally, but I will.

In the meantime let this note stand to tell you all, and you all know who you are, that you have recalled me to life.

God bless you all, each and every one.

Gerard Van der Leun
November 13, 2018

If this essay pleased or informed you DONATE HERE to help me recover after being burned out in the Paradise fire with my thanks.

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • lynne November 13, 2018, 6:25 PM

    Gerard, I’ve read your blog for years now, and you feel like an old family friend. Let all of your like-minded readers know what you need, and we’ll be there for you.

  • Phil in Englewood November 13, 2018, 6:46 PM

    Most importantly, we all know who *you* are, and we have a chance to express our appreciation. Thank you, Gerard.

  • william thomas November 13, 2018, 7:13 PM

    My Pleasure Sir. For me, it has been a Joy perusing your posts lo these many years. I think I found you way back in 03, via Morgan. TBS, I have been praying for you and your Mom, and it’s always uplifting to have prayers answered.

  • David Spence November 13, 2018, 9:02 PM

    17 years x 12 months/year=204. One dollar a month for the content of this special blog is the best money I’ve ever spent.

  • Jane November 13, 2018, 11:13 PM

    Gerard, as a reader and friend who has been orbiting your world since 2006, I consider it an honor to contribute soon. I prefer, however, to mail a check, Fedex it or go through Amazon pay as soon as you establish any of those options. Meanwhile, thank you for being in my world and all I ask, is one day, tell me how to pronounce Vanderleun correctly! Sheryl told me it rhymes with Claire de Lune or something like that… or is it more like the Kings of Leon?

    Please one day take me out of my pronouncation misery. Thanks!


  • John Condon November 14, 2018, 1:03 AM

    In the Snail-mail envelope and ready to go when I go to the PO later this morning.

    Its not much, but its the best I can do at this time – and considering your dire circumstances.

    Goodspeed, my friend.

  • Elmo November 14, 2018, 4:59 AM

    Having been through what you’re going through it brings back memories of the kindness of others. Living through that first winter was miserable, cleaning up the debris and sifting through the ashes. But the kindness and gifts of others made it all bearable, like our vet, who treated our cats who had survived with singed feet, and the jeweler in town who polished my wife’s wedding ring. Neither would take a penny. There were many others. It still brings a tear to my eye, 24 years later.

    Thinking of you every day, Gerard.

  • Jaynie November 14, 2018, 5:12 AM

    i appreciate your generosity over the years. Embarrassed, I did not even realize that the site had a donate button. Thank you so much.

    204, a la David Spence, sounds good

    When I think of all the loss, happy to hear survivors, yet my mind turns to Mary Kate Danaher in The Quiet Man when she spoke about needing her things around her. (While IMDB has many fabulous quotes from the movie, not this particular one)

  • IP November 14, 2018, 6:48 AM

    You speak of weeping at your friend’s gratitudes in this time of rebuilding. My friend, no amount of money could repay the times this page has brought me to tears. Sometimes in sorrow, other times in hope, pride, or joy. Most lately I have wept in the renewed knowledge that if they are just left alone to manage their own lives, people ARE good, and will do good, more often than not.

  • Former Lurker November 14, 2018, 6:58 AM

    Gerard, I sent what I could and hope it helps. I have been reading you almost daily since about 2004, so it is an honor for me to try to help. Thank you for all you have done and all of the thought-provoking topics you bring.

  • Vanderleun November 14, 2018, 7:53 AM

    It’s Van der Claire de Lune

    Gerard Van der Leun
    1380 East Avenue Suite 124-257
    Chico, CA 95926

  • Chris November 14, 2018, 11:36 AM

    Gerard (as your Grandmother would have called you),
    I’ve been a long time reader and sometime commenter. In truth I don’t need your thanks..it is I who should thank you. You’ve given me something thoughtful to think about or read for many years now and I have taken that for granted. I used to be an avid reader of Neptunus Lex, until Carol’s untimely death. I never got the chance to say how much I enjoyed his writing. This could have easily been the same situation… but fortunately, it is not. So thank you for all you have given me over the years. Hopefully, you will be back in a good place before too long.

  • tscottme November 14, 2018, 3:21 PM

    Your wit, wisdom, and efforts have helped many of us at dark times.

  • Jane November 14, 2018, 4:32 PM

    Finally, after all these years I can say it right now! Will gather several things to send you in Chico soon. No one can hang in better than you and whatever you cobble together to begin yet again, you have the style to make it and yourself look like a million.

    Jane xx

  • Steve Diaz November 15, 2018, 1:16 PM

    Good on all the people of Chico, Calif.
    Texas isn’t the only state where people step up to help neighbors…

    Good on you…
    If you want/need anything special please advise….