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Noted in Passing: Portland Home for Sale, Squatters Included!

Portlanders desperately try to sell off homes taken over by squatters

A sane community would use fire, guns, and backhoes in the forest to eradicate this level of parasitism. Portland will have to have its brain tumor cut out first.

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  • Teresa Pittman August 1, 2022, 12:06 PM

    I am dealing with squatters, fortunately without a home on the property, in WA state. They must be served three times, then there is an unlawful detainer form that has to be served. All the documents tell the “unnamed people” to contact their landlord. I have no idea who they are and they are not my tennants. And there was a fire that burned several RVs so we now get to check for asbestos.

    Whatever you do, DO NOT DEAL WITH PDX RENOVATIONS!! I’ll leave it at that.

  • talgus August 1, 2022, 12:15 PM

    middle stages of terminal progressive pandemic.

  • ghostsniper August 1, 2022, 12:26 PM

    If, upon returning to my property, I observe people occupying it, they will be gone in a matter of minutes of my arrival. How could it be any other way? This stuff is sort of self explanatory.

    • Lance de Boyle August 1, 2022, 3:39 PM

      Drop a pissed off pitbull in there.

      “Hey, ain’t MY dog!”

  • Jack August 1, 2022, 3:07 PM

    Lock the doors and burn the thing down with the fuckers inside.

    • Lance de Boyle August 1, 2022, 3:37 PM

      Yeah, but then you’d kill all the cockroaches, too.
      How fair is that?

      • Hyland August 1, 2022, 5:55 PM

        Thanks, Lance. First time I laughed today. What a world.

      • Jack August 2, 2022, 7:03 AM

        Like I told my kids who, when growing up, would tell me such-and-such was not fair….”there is no such thing as fair”.

        But if you insist, to answer your question I’d say that it’s about as ‘fair’ as what the squatters are doing to the home owner. One could march in with shotguns and dogs and run the squatters out but then all manner of problems ensure. In the first place, the law protects them and the owner could have his pants sued off or go to jail for threatening the squatters. Secondly, if they did exercise their right to leave, who is going to pickup the garbage and clean up the other godless messes they made to the home and who can say that they won’t return?

        Nah, you have to utilize measures that will work and if it’s done correctly, the home owner’s insurance will cover the loss.

  • jiminalaska August 1, 2022, 3:16 PM

    I was just posting about squatters elsewhere. I noted that a guy my son was talking to, told him that here in Fairbanks, Alaska he found out that when he called the police about bums on his property he was told by them if a bum, a squatter, (Or as is now almost mandatory to refer to them using the newspeak term, homeless, as I’m quite sure the officers did.) , sets up a tent on one’s property and has a campfire one must give the bum a ten day eviction notice, just running them off is forbidden. As I said, I heard about it third hand but that’s apparently how the cops explained things to the property owner.

  • Dirk August 2, 2022, 7:57 AM

    The NEW buzz word is “ Urban Camper”. I come home and a “Urban Campers” present, I won’t be calling the cops.

  • Teresa Pittman August 2, 2022, 12:18 PM

    I had someone offer to go and use bear spray on my squatters. The problem is that the law would come after me. They always go after the folks with assets and ignore those without.

  • Ray August 4, 2022, 3:52 PM

    A friend who had 4-month non-paying tenants (effectively squatters with better manners) gave a tough local who owned an axe and a doberman, some cash. Lousy tenants, and the front door of the house, were both gone the following day.
    “Sir, did you have anything to do with this?”
    “Officer, I have no idea what happened here; Where are my tenants?!”