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Thou Shalt Not Bear False Witness

Amber Heard’s attorney reveals the actress is ‘absolutely not’ able to pay $8m damages to Johnny Depp and plans to appeal and insists the jury was tainted by social media during toxic six-week court battle

Meanwhile, Depp evidently was having such a good time they opened the doors to Toon Town:


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  • ghostsniper June 2, 2022, 2:10 PM

    Apparently there are still males running around out there that don’t recognize the diff between a quick throw down and a life long commitment. Ever test drive a vehicle? Right, you take it out and run the hell out of it, see if it comes apart. If it holds up it’s a keeper. I had to test drive about a dozen females before I found a keeper. 38 years and counting. Yes, I’m an expert apprentice.

  • Foo June 2, 2022, 4:40 PM

    Way deep in the crazy quadrant.
    Drunken Depp paid the price for his unforced error.

  • Foo June 2, 2022, 4:43 PM
  • KCK June 2, 2022, 5:02 PM

    Depp: better actor than I thought he was.
    Heard: available now.

    Whose shallow now??

  • Sparrow Jack Sparrow June 2, 2022, 5:15 PM

    The Jolly Roger flies proudly from the mast.

  • John the River June 2, 2022, 6:00 PM

    Heard in the comments elsewhere.
    “Don’t stick your dick in crazy, you might not be able to afford Johnny Depp’s lawyers”.

  • ThisIsNotNutella June 2, 2022, 6:09 PM

    Cluster B Clusterfucks can make for one hell of a rodeo.

    But you gotta be the one with the Exit Strategy.

  • Snakepit Kansas June 2, 2022, 8:31 PM

    Appreciatively, Johnny knew he would never get a dime out of that chic. He does not need her money. Both of those freaks got millions worth of publicity out of that pathetic trial. I would be embarrassed to drag out my laundry for the public to see. C’mon man! Have some self pride and decency.

    I’ve gone loco in love with crazy brown chics on more than one occasion and I’d be gobs better off financially if I could have quelled that weakness of mine sooner. I got a good one now and going on 19 years. Wouldn’t trade her for a new Cadillac.

    • Mike Austin June 3, 2022, 12:35 AM

      “I’ve gone loco in love with crazy brown chics on more than one occasion…” I hear you. I married 2 of them and had a score more that I avoided marrying—sometimes barely. I am fully recovered these days, but then I stay away from places where I might be tempted.

  • Dirk June 2, 2022, 9:16 PM

    Their both shit house crazy.

    My once high opinion of Jeff Beck, just took a nose dive. This Depp clown steps out on stage thinking he’s a Rolling Stone. All these make believe outfits, fucking screw balls, all of em.

    • Mike Austin June 3, 2022, 12:38 AM

      Jeff Beck never quite made it to the heights of popularity that Page and Clapton did, though he could outplay both of them. His music these days is almost unlistenable.

      • ghostsniper June 3, 2022, 4:51 AM

        Some people just don’t recognize the fact that at some point you just have to go sit your ass on the porch. Yeah, I know, you’re only as old as you feel, but the art in that is being truthful and you feel like shit. I imagine though, anyone that has lived most of their life in the limelight will find that difficult to accept. wutevah

        • Mike Austin June 3, 2022, 6:43 AM

          I have wondered about this. A man should know when to fold and get out of the game. Just forget about “getting the band back together” for yet another “goodbye tour”. Sometimes these things are downright embarrassing.

        • billrla June 3, 2022, 11:23 AM

          Add politicians and some of the more obnoxious members of their entourage to the list.

          • Mike Austin June 3, 2022, 1:40 PM

            So added. The power that politicians wield becomes their life-blood. Having abandoned all Honor, it is all they have left. They will hold onto it until their gruesome hands are pried away.

  • PA Cat June 2, 2022, 9:43 PM

    Speaking of crazy: Why do I think Bill Stevenson is glad that his ex (“Doctor” Jill) dumped him for JoJo? Can you imagine being on the receiving end of “fexting” messages?

    “According to Jill, in order to avoid having spats in front of the Secret Service, back when Barack Obama was president, they would stick to having their disagreements through text messaging, a routine to them that is known as ‘fexting.’ She then remembered how she recently sent him a photo of himself looking somewhat annoyed. ‘Joe said, “You realize that’s going to go down in history. There will be a record of that,” she explained. ‘I won’t tell you what I called him that time.'”

    I’m sure she can commiserate with Heard: ” . . . she got married to her first husband, Bill Stevenson, at 18, and got divorced in her mid-twenties. Jill then detailed how during her divorce, she struggled financially, which helped her encourage her and Joe’s daughter Ashley, 40, to ‘be independent.'”


    Uh-huh: how much of Hunter’s “10% for the big guy” goes to Jill’s upkeep? Not to mention all the other graft that flows into the Biden family pockets. OTOH, she probably doesn’t swim in the nude in front of the Secret Service, so there’s that modicum of decorum.

  • Rob Muir June 2, 2022, 9:51 PM

    I’ve been listening to, and admiring, the playing of Jeff Beck for very close to 60 years. I bought all his albums and read at least 2 biographies. The man continues to add to possibly the greatest body of guitar music in the world. I saw his concert in Phoenix in 2019 and was amazed at what he is able to create live on stage. I was surprised that night when Johnny Depp stepped on stage. I don’t know how that collaboration came about, but Depp does not have mad guitar skills, even when he is merely competent. Even if Depp brings a modest contribution to the stage, Beck is more than able to keep up the quality. Just this morning I watched a video of their show in London from 4 days ago. Johnny has gotten a bit better since 2019, but he’s not going to set the world on fire with his guitar playing.

    Having said all that, if Mr. Beck can survive after working with Nile Rogers (Flash in 1985), he will survive working with Johnny Depp.

    • Mike Austin June 3, 2022, 5:48 PM

      Jeff Beck. “Blow By Blow”. Enough said.

    • Dirk June 3, 2022, 8:49 PM

      A man’s got to know his limitations. I to have been a Beck fan for along time. Agree he could carry him. Depps a sick in the head ass clown, it’s his role playing which disgusts me. He’s a fucking phony wanna be, playing dress up.

      Keith Richards want to dress as he does, he’s earned the right!. Depp, he needs to stick to Johnny scissors fingers, fantasy roll playing

  • Mike Austin June 3, 2022, 12:41 AM

    It is well and good to be reminded from time to time how astoundingly low-rent and vulgar Hollywood types are. Like US politicians, they are nothing but pieces of dung.

    • MMinWA June 3, 2022, 2:11 AM

      There’s a few good ones. You paint with too broad a brush. Gary Senise and Keanu Reeves come to mind OOH and OTOH you’ve got MTG and Gaetz.

      • ghostsniper June 3, 2022, 4:56 AM

        Too few.
        For at least 30 years I have shunned almost all of the hollywood product as unuseable.
        Have never seen video of this heard woman and the last depp thing I saw was at least 20 years ago and I have no tangible memories of it. shrug

        40’s and 50’s is where it’s at – the height of hollywood prowess if you can call it that.

        • ThisIsNotNutella June 3, 2022, 6:15 PM

          Thank the much-maligned Father Coughlin and the Hays Code for the (ahem) Golden Years of Hollywood. Watch some pre-code movies to get an idea what our eternal friends were putting into your grandmothers’ pretty heads back when. The short-lived push back was one of Western Civ’s last gasps.

      • Mike Austin June 3, 2022, 6:46 AM

        They are outliers. For every Gary Sinise there are 20 Amber Heards. Politics is better but not by much. For every Marjorie Taylor Greene there are 4 Lindsay Grahams.

  • Wild, wild west June 3, 2022, 3:19 AM

    There’s a pic floating about the innernets of Amber together with Vice-President what’s-her-name together sitting and cackling together.

    Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

  • Hoss June 3, 2022, 6:42 AM

    The last movie I watched with Depp in it was scissor hands. Never heard of Heard until now. Man, what a train wreck and thankfully, I don’t care.

  • OneGuy June 3, 2022, 7:32 AM

    She did what so many women do. She lied to get more from him in the divorce and she lied afterwards to hurt him out of revenge. This was clear in the testimony and even her own testimony showed she was guilty.

  • lpdbw June 3, 2022, 7:56 AM

    Sometimes the producers of good art are crazy. Batshit.
    Tim Burton and Johnny Depp being prime examples.
    When it works, it’s magic. Like Ed Wood or Edward Scissorhands.
    When it doesn’t, it’s odd, bizarre, weird, creepy, and disturbing. Corpse Bride, Alice In Wonderland, and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

  • Snakepit Kansas June 3, 2022, 4:42 PM

    Willingly, and only slightly off topic, my wife joined me on the end of a business trip recently in San Diego and we went to visit the USS Midway floating aircraft carrier museum. Wow. We spent most of the day there. Plus, there were F18s flying out of Miramar rocking the sky past our hotel non-stop. Henceforth, we were compelled to take our two monkeys to go see TOP GUN MAVERICK. Holy smoke, what a good flick! Murica!!!

    • ghostsniper June 4, 2022, 4:49 AM

      My little brother greased the axles on that big boat back in 78-80 when it was hovering around Iran waiting for that hostage situation to resolve. I’ve never seen a really big boat up close and personal but I surely would like to. You lucky DAWG!