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Noted In Passing: “Florida Man” to visit tailor for new pants…

… to accommodate his enormous balls.

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Mike Anderson September 30, 2021, 8:32 AM

    We should petition those dictionary folks to put this gentleman’s picture next to the word “gutsy.”

  • Casey Klahn September 30, 2021, 8:48 AM

    Remember that extremely funny vid with Snoop Dog saying “Wally Gator”?

  • Jack September 30, 2021, 9:01 AM

    I’ve been a hunter since I was old enough to make rubber band guns and kill moths at around 6 or 7, Natchez, MS around 1956-57. I’ve never grown tired of the blood sports and I plan to bow hunt again this year from a climbing tree stand, IPF and all. Then, when it’s cooler I’ll get after ’em with my Roberts.

    I’ve seen a lot of incredibly idiotic and non-sensical stuff in life too but the one simple thing I cannot understand is why Florida permits alligators to reside in its residential ponds and small lakes. And, on top of that, the damned things are protected by the State. Gators are apex predators and they will just as soon eat a human or pet as a decaying turtle and the job they do in the killing has to be seen to be appreciated.

    A smallish one, like the denizen captured by D’Quandra, is fully capable of seriously wounding an adult and killing and eating a child or a large dog. I scratch my head……

    • Mike Austin September 30, 2021, 9:47 AM

      The US Government protects gators, wolves, bears, coyotes and weird snails and such, but refuses to extend this courtesy to its own citizens.

      If one of those reptilian devils approached a child in Florida, and the child’s father shot the gator, that father would be headed for jail.

    • PA Cat September 30, 2021, 10:16 AM

      There was a gas station owner near my mother’s retirement community in Brooksville who kept a guard gator in his office after closing at night to discourage the local burglars.

    • ghostsniper September 30, 2021, 12:35 PM

      I’d bet a dollar to a donut that house was in a gated community, probably with a golf course. People pay big money to live in places like that, probably more than a million for a normal house in there. Part of the draw for those places is the idea of natural wildlife of which gators are members. Mostly, gators tend to mind their own business and stay wilderness oriented.

      While it is illegal to harm or kill a gator it is also illegal to feed them. Not even a single french fry. Because, just like humans, they will become addicted to them instantly and seek them out. Same with popcorn, or any number of things “caring” people do, in violation of the law. Then, after the popcorn dealer has hooked the gator on his brand new fix the dealer gets all bent out of shape when the gator comes looking for it’s next fix.

      Many, many years ago this issue was self resolving, back when people knew how to think and accepted nature as it was rather than how they’d like it to be. If it was up to me the wealthy people in the gated communities would not get their wish for a “natural Florida wildlife yard art” and the gators would be transported to a place more suitable for them, like the glades. As it is, when a gator is reported to have done wrong by a human the default reaction is for the authorities to shoot it on sight. In typical gov’t fashion, a loss for all involved, and a sense of bravado for the gov’t drone that killed it.

      As far as Mikes comment below about the gov’t (not) protecting it’s citizens.
      If for some reason I wanted someone to protect me it certainly would not be by entities that have demonstrated millions of times, gross incompetency, irresponsibility, and unaccountability, not to mention unbelievably enormous costs most likely in perpetuity.

      • Vanderleun September 30, 2021, 12:39 PM

        In actuality the man doing the canning of the gator is a black Army vet and all the neighbors from nearby appear to be black as well. Gated? Maybe.

      • Mike Austin October 1, 2021, 6:34 AM

        Dear ghostsniper:

        1. The best situation would be in the government simply left all citizens alone and no noisome agencies were around to protect anybody.

        2. The second best situation would be if the government decided that its citizens needed protecting. Agencies would be created to do just that, and taxes went up to pay for them.

        3. The third best situation would be if the government decided that its citizens needed protecting and agencies would be created to do just that, but through incompetence and stupidity these agencies accomplished nothing. Taxes still went up to pay for them.

        4. The worst situation would be if the government decided that its citizens needed protecting, agencies would be created to do just that, but these agencies decided to use their power to control citizens rather than protect them. Taxes still went up to pay for them.

        We are at number four.

  • EX-Californian Pete September 30, 2021, 10:52 AM

    “See ya later, alligator!”

  • The Universal Spectator September 30, 2021, 11:07 AM

    As a life-long Florida native, and well aware of the dangers of these critters, I have to say that that is most bad-ass thing I’ve ever seen…

  • James ONeil September 30, 2021, 11:17 AM

    Kept a wee one, a foot or so, for about a week in the dorm sink when I was at U of F in Gainesville over 60 years ago.

    Walked him around campus on a string leash. Many if not most wore flip flops, thongs, whenever the little gator saw a moving toe he’d lunge, snap at it. If you think about the most common response to his actions, you understand where he got the name Damnit.

    Didn’t turn out to be as good a chick magnet as I’d hoped.

    & yep, took him back to the pond I found him in.

    • Mike Austin September 30, 2021, 11:42 AM

      Ack. Should have made Damnit into a purse.

      Better chick magnets: 1. money; 2. Mercedes; 3. masculine beauty.

      Choose two out of three. I only had one of these, but that was quite good enough.

      • EX-Californian Pete September 30, 2021, 4:00 PM

        Best chick magnets-
        Being very tall and “proportionately gifted”
        A broad sense of humor.
        A classic Harley-Davidson, AKA the “Milwaukee Vibrator.”
        The ability to perform the entire Chinese alphabet with one’s tongue on a “soft surface.”

  • Mike Austin September 30, 2021, 11:36 PM

    Damn. My list just got longer. I always had a sense of humor, mainly gained through stupidity and thus laughing at myself.