WHEN in the course of human Events, it becomes necessary….
Noted in Not-Passing: MILLION TO ONE SHOT, DOC!
byVanderleunonDecember 9, 2021
The Army Explosive Ordnance Disposal team rushed to Gloucestershire Royal Hospital following a report that a patient had been admitted with a munition in his rectum, police told The Sun on Thursday. — NY POST
“The item had been removed prior to police arrival and the Army’s Explosive Ordnance Disposal team were contacted,” said authorities, who confirmed that the round was not live.
The incident was confirmed to the outlet by the UK’s Ministry of Defense.
Sources told The Sun that the man said he had “slipped and fell” on the 2.2-inch shell, typically fired from WWII anti-tank artillery guns. The round was reportedly from his own personal collection of military memorabilia.
A hospital spokesman told the paper “As with any incident involving munitions, the relevant safety protocols were followed to ensure there was no risk to patients, staff or visitors at any time.”
“WWII-era-shell-found-in-mans-rectum…
the man said he had “slipped and fell” on the 2.2-inch shell”
Slipped and fell?? Uh-huh. Sure.
rectum if you got ’em.
Roll-aidDecember 9, 2021, 9:24 AM
Talk to any experience ER doctor or nurse and they will tell many stories of having deal with foreign objects lodged in any or all human orifices. A substantial number were ‘accidental’. It seems to be somewhat common to have dwellings with nude people walking around objects of a certain shape and size place just so on a surface and then falling upon them in a highly unlikely bodily orientation that puts said object into a place where the sun don’t shine. If you have the stomach for it, you can search for “objects in rectum”. Choose to see images.
gwbnycDecember 10, 2021, 12:33 PM
at that predominantly nude men.
gwbnycDecember 9, 2021, 2:46 PM
rectum, hell- he almost died.
Lance de BoyleDecember 9, 2021, 10:24 AM
I once’t woke up to find that I had a 48 Mercury up my butt. There was 2 kids in the back seat makin’ out. Told me to mind my own business. I said, “Hey, I got this Merc up my butt. Cut me some slack.”
I had a similar set of circumstances happen to me. But it was a 51 Ford. And it was Lori and me in the back seat. There was no one sitting on the front seat. What a dream of dreams that was . . .
Lance de BoyleDecember 10, 2021, 12:59 AM
Magical times then, Terry. Winter at the drive in movie. Her cheeks and lips cold, waiting to be warmed. Gosh they smell so good. Peach-fuzzy fun packs fresh from the farm.
“You can touch them just once, Lance.”
That was enough for me. To be so blessed by that young goddess.
Got the T-Shirt Gerard, but I guess you missed the comment that I didn’t actually want you to send me another T-Shirt to add to the pile I’m trying to get rid of. The check was just a donation for your good work.
Guess one of my friends is getting a T-Shirt for Christmas.
Casey KlahnDecember 10, 2021, 7:42 AM
Although I did work with mortars in the army, I wouldn’t call my self an ordinance guy. Call me an end user. Wait – not that kind of “end user”…the jokes just seem to write themselves.
I took a very memorable course when I was a junior enlisted man, which was run by the Explosives Ordinance Disposal guys. These EOD guys came to the class wearing burnt and ripped up uniforms, which was a great gag and an attention getter. However, their original slides (this story predates PCs and the internet) of blown up kids at Fy Lewis, WA made an even stronger impression. Like the boy who decides that an unexploded 40mm grenade looked very attractive…I won’t say the rest.
There is a continuum of ordinance protocol that runs from “do not pick it up” to “do not stick it up your ass”. Placing oneself on that continuum is a tricky affair.
ghostsniperDecember 10, 2021, 10:16 AM
The 12b protocol was, “If in doubt, blow it in place.”
All by itself, because of it’s nature, all explosives become increasingly unstable from the moment they are born.
signed,
bangalore torpedo
Casey KlahnDecember 10, 2021, 3:49 PM
I read “bungalore torpedo”. I thought you were being punny.
For the crowd: do NOT stick a bungalore torpedo up your ass.
Ghost, I would expect the engineers to blow them in place, but at the time I was an infantryman in a tank unit, and our protocol was leave it the fuck alone, and get EOD to blow it in place.
Gordon ScottDecember 10, 2021, 10:55 PM
I remember some video from ’04 or so. Army guys found an underground bunker full of stolen and acquired explosives in the middle of some Iraqi house compound. They had a human chain passing up shells, grenades, cluster bomblets, and other stuff. Then someone got wise, and they decided not to risk themselves to save some haji’s house. They destroyed it in place. From a mile away that was a helluva explosion.
Casey KlahnDecember 11, 2021, 1:22 PM
After Ghost and I and many here got out, the whole fukn army went straight to hell.
gwbnycDecember 10, 2021, 12:50 PM
working on a film, “Meet Joe Black”, in an armory in NYC. the inside perimeter of the bldg was lined with storage rooms. the armory was being closed, just about done. we found hi-cap 9mm mags, maybe a hundred 20 rd M16 mags (we sold them at a gunshow), and, tucked in a corner, an instructional cut-away 105mm round. we looked at it, decided it was our duty to call the bomb squad and have it safely removed from the premises. I can still see the Michelein Man carrying it out to the truck.
We waited until lunch to do it, guaranteeing us a full day’s pay.
We saw our duty, we were not afraid.
Casey KlahnDecember 10, 2021, 3:57 PM
I salute your safety minded self. The EOD guys you called still have that relic 105 round, on their desk, holding down paper.
gwbnycDecember 11, 2021, 7:54 AM
one more story-
we built a swimming pool in the armory, it had a cathedral ceiling over it with murals. so they want to walk the actors through the scene, etc. one of the guys dropped a condom with some mayonnaise filling in the pool. an actresse saw it floating and started screeching, the upshot was no one would get in the pool so we pumped the 45,000 gallons of water out and the put a fresh 45,000 gallons back.
Real World Address for Donations, Mash Notes and Hate Mail
Gerard Van der Leun
1692 MANGROVE AVE
APT 379
Chico, Ca 95926
Green Pants Interior by Klahn
Who Am I? by Carl Sandburg
My head knocks against the stars.
My feet are on the hilltops.
My finger-tips are in the valleys and shores of universal life.
Down in the sounding foam of primal things I reach my hands and play with pebbles of destiny.
I have been to hell and back many times.
I know all about heaven, for I have talked with God.
I dabble in the blood and guts of the terrible.
I know the passionate seizure of beauty
And the marvelous rebellion of man at all signs reading “Keep Off.”
My name is Truth and I am the most elusive captive in the universe.
Duty, Beauty, Liberty, Country, Honor, Family, Faith — Plus a few simple easy to follow rules for guys
Men saw the stars at the edge of the sea
They thought great thoughts about liberty
Poets wrote down words that did fit
Writers wrote books
Thinkers thought about it
Take it where you find it
Can’t leave it alone
You will find a purpose
To carry it on
Mainly when you find it
Your heart will be strong
About it
Many’s the road I have walked upon
Many’s the hour between dusk and dawn
Many’s the time
Many’s the mile
I see it all now
Through the eyes of a child
Take it where you find it
Can’t leave it alone
You will find a purpose
To carry it on
Mainly when you find it
Your heart will be strong
About it
[Chorus]
Lost dreams and found dreams
In America
In America
In America
Lost dreams and found dreams
In America
In America
In America
And close your eyes
Leave it all for a while
Leave the world
And your worries behind
You will build on whatever is real
And wake up each day
To a new waking dream
Take it where you find it
Can’t leave it alone
You will find a purpose
To carry it on
Mainly when you find it
Your heart will be strong
About it
[Chorus]
Change, change come over
Change come over
Talkin’ about a change
Change, change
Change come over, now
Change, change, change come over
I’m gonna walk down the street
Until I see
My shining light
I’m gonna walk down the street
Until I see
My shining light
I’m gonna walk down the street
Until I see
My shining light
I’m gonna walk down the street
Until I see
My shining light
I see my light
See my light
See my shining light
I see my light
See my light
See my shining light
Gerard Van der Leun
Comments on this entry are closed.
“WWII-era-shell-found-in-mans-rectum…
the man said he had “slipped and fell” on the 2.2-inch shell”
Slipped and fell?? Uh-huh. Sure.
rectum if you got ’em.
Talk to any experience ER doctor or nurse and they will tell many stories of having deal with foreign objects lodged in any or all human orifices. A substantial number were ‘accidental’. It seems to be somewhat common to have dwellings with nude people walking around objects of a certain shape and size place just so on a surface and then falling upon them in a highly unlikely bodily orientation that puts said object into a place where the sun don’t shine. If you have the stomach for it, you can search for “objects in rectum”. Choose to see images.
at that predominantly nude men.
rectum, hell- he almost died.
I once’t woke up to find that I had a 48 Mercury up my butt. There was 2 kids in the back seat makin’ out. Told me to mind my own business. I said, “Hey, I got this Merc up my butt. Cut me some slack.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EdhxS-eeMX4
Lance, I’m still laughing my as* off on that one.
I had a similar set of circumstances happen to me. But it was a 51 Ford. And it was Lori and me in the back seat. There was no one sitting on the front seat. What a dream of dreams that was . . .
Magical times then, Terry. Winter at the drive in movie. Her cheeks and lips cold, waiting to be warmed. Gosh they smell so good. Peach-fuzzy fun packs fresh from the farm.
“You can touch them just once, Lance.”
That was enough for me. To be so blessed by that young goddess.
A blast from the past!
……….I’m not sorry.
was there anything else to buttress his claim?
The hospital called the Bum Squad.
What an ass.
JWM
He’s @ay.
Hey kid! You’ll shoot your . . . eye out?
Live round eh?
Taking “blow it out your ass” to a new level.
Missed a Darwin Award by *that* much. Not to mention that some writer of coroner’s reports and obituaries was cheated out of the best one ever.
JWM
Gnocchi Nigel.
Got the T-Shirt Gerard, but I guess you missed the comment that I didn’t actually want you to send me another T-Shirt to add to the pile I’m trying to get rid of. The check was just a donation for your good work.
Guess one of my friends is getting a T-Shirt for Christmas.
Although I did work with mortars in the army, I wouldn’t call my self an ordinance guy. Call me an end user. Wait – not that kind of “end user”…the jokes just seem to write themselves.
I took a very memorable course when I was a junior enlisted man, which was run by the Explosives Ordinance Disposal guys. These EOD guys came to the class wearing burnt and ripped up uniforms, which was a great gag and an attention getter. However, their original slides (this story predates PCs and the internet) of blown up kids at Fy Lewis, WA made an even stronger impression. Like the boy who decides that an unexploded 40mm grenade looked very attractive…I won’t say the rest.
There is a continuum of ordinance protocol that runs from “do not pick it up” to “do not stick it up your ass”. Placing oneself on that continuum is a tricky affair.
The 12b protocol was, “If in doubt, blow it in place.”
All by itself, because of it’s nature, all explosives become increasingly unstable from the moment they are born.
signed,
bangalore torpedo
I read “bungalore torpedo”. I thought you were being punny.
For the crowd: do NOT stick a bungalore torpedo up your ass.
Ghost, I would expect the engineers to blow them in place, but at the time I was an infantryman in a tank unit, and our protocol was leave it the fuck alone, and get EOD to blow it in place.
I remember some video from ’04 or so. Army guys found an underground bunker full of stolen and acquired explosives in the middle of some Iraqi house compound. They had a human chain passing up shells, grenades, cluster bomblets, and other stuff. Then someone got wise, and they decided not to risk themselves to save some haji’s house. They destroyed it in place. From a mile away that was a helluva explosion.
After Ghost and I and many here got out, the whole fukn army went straight to hell.
working on a film, “Meet Joe Black”, in an armory in NYC. the inside perimeter of the bldg was lined with storage rooms. the armory was being closed, just about done. we found hi-cap 9mm mags, maybe a hundred 20 rd M16 mags (we sold them at a gunshow), and, tucked in a corner, an instructional cut-away 105mm round. we looked at it, decided it was our duty to call the bomb squad and have it safely removed from the premises. I can still see the Michelein Man carrying it out to the truck.
We waited until lunch to do it, guaranteeing us a full day’s pay.
We saw our duty, we were not afraid.
I salute your safety minded self. The EOD guys you called still have that relic 105 round, on their desk, holding down paper.
one more story-
we built a swimming pool in the armory, it had a cathedral ceiling over it with murals. so they want to walk the actors through the scene, etc. one of the guys dropped a condom with some mayonnaise filling in the pool. an actresse saw it floating and started screeching, the upshot was no one would get in the pool so we pumped the 45,000 gallons of water out and the put a fresh 45,000 gallons back.