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No More Prefaces. No More Apologizing for Anything.

Me? I’m REALLY not sorry….. but if I was I would use…

“I’m sorry too, Dimitri. I’m very sorry. Alright! You’re sorrier than I am! But I am sorry as well. I am as sorry as you are, Dimitri. Don’t say that you are more sorry than I am, because I am capable of being just as sorry as you are. So we’re both sorry, alright? Alright.” — President Muffley on the phone with Premier Kissoff in “Dr. Strangelove”

I begin by noting that at present, as so often in the past, I’m sorry. Yes, I am very, very sorry. It was all my fault and I am sorry for it all.

I am sorry, as always, for what I said. It was thoughtless and rude. It wasn’t really what I meant or felt in my heart. Many have taken my remarks to mean other than what I said. So true. Even I   meant them to mean other than what they meant when I said them.

Well, the damage is done and I can’t undo the past.

All I can do is stand here strapped in the pillory of the present as all those whom I have so wrongly and without malice slandered cry like the little girly-men they are; yes, even the girls. Their pain is now my pain. I cringe to see them writhe with the bleeding agony as those raw wounds I ripped open by my harsh and unconsidered remarks are keel-hauled through ten cubic feet of table salt mixed into a horse trough of vinegar. I know that’s gotta smart.

I feel really bad about this. I feel even worse that I, through my abject failure to realize how deeply the dull hatchet of my speech would chop into them — even, yea, down to the living blue-veined bone — that I simply stood by and allowed the searing acid of my senseless scorn to pour without limit into their raw and festering souls. I am, as I said, deeply sorry — and feel bad besides.

Also, should the forensics prove unhelpful to my case, I would like to say for the record, that I did not know the gun was loaded.

I have listened to America whinging. I have heard the rising torrent of justifiable outrage at every rising bubble of flatulent un-pc remarks breaking beneath the body politic; the howls of those whose most sacred, festering and inane ideological beliefs I have eviscerated with the chain-saw of my words. I have heard the skin-shuddering shrieks of those who have been sliced into bloody gobbets of flesh by my razor keen remarks. Though I am unworthy to feel that pain, I feel it still as if it were a red-hot 3/4 inch Makita drill bit driven into the base of my skull and left there set on “Wash-Rinse-Repeat.”

To these wounded souls I offer, in deep and abject humility — since I am, because I spoke those hurtful, hurtful words, lower than a cockroach’s stool stuck to the bottom of a homeless hermit’s shabby sandal in the storm drains of Las Vegas — I offer these tender buttons, these delicate little bunnies, my most sincere if unworthy apology.

MORE AT So Sorry: My Boilerplate Apology to Demented Americans I Have Offended, Am Offending, or Will Offend – American Digest

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Wildman November 4, 2018, 11:53 AM

    Insults can only bother you if you beleive that they are true and apply to you

  • Casey Klahn November 4, 2018, 3:57 PM

    I watched this yesterday – I hope they do start a movement. I gave up prefacing my comments (I’m not racist, but…) a year ago or so. Very liberating.

  • edaddy November 4, 2018, 7:00 PM

    Good God, you men are such pussies!

    I only care about the argument and frankly don’t give a flying f-ck what you think about my position or my comments. Half the time I comment, I’m absolutely drunk, and the other half I’m trying to incite a riot. In other words, I’m part of the 99.999% of the commentariat. Do you not already know this?

    Any monkey, redneck or Einstein with a computer can tweet and comment.


    That means the folks from CNN to Fox News can cherry pick tweets and comments to elevate their own particular cause celebre. When it comes to comments, we are living in a time when everyone with an internet connection is equal … anywhere in the world.

    Think about that.

    In our time, it helps to be a disagreeable SOB (see the big five personality traits). I’ve been blessed with very low agreeableness and I don’t give a flying F what YOU think. (It just so happens that I’m highly conscientious which makes me a great manager and a hell of a lot of money.)

    While I mostly think ghostniper is FOS, I can relate to him because he doesn’t care what you or I think about him.

    Until you can prove to me that you are wise (you will know them by their fruits), I don’t believe what you think and I don’t care what you think about me.

    On the other hand, if you do happen to prove to me that you are wise and worthy … Hell, I’d eat the corn out of your poop.

  • SJ November 5, 2018, 6:28 AM

    “On the other hand, if you do happen to prove to me that you are wise and worthy”

    You know when you should move on when ….
    You come across a low life, self-absorbed, impertinent, foul mouth individual on the web who only knows how to bring an “argument” to the table instead of a debate.
    Without a doubt, not worth ones time of day.

    “The adversary she found herself forced to fight was not worth matching or beating; it was not a superior ability which she would have found honor in challenging; it was ineptitude—a gray spread of cotton that ‘seemed soft and shapeless, that could offer no resistance to anything or anybody, yet managed to be a barrier in her way.”
    ― Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

  • DrTedNelson November 5, 2018, 11:04 AM

    Trump: “Nevertheless, he persisted”

  • Jewel November 5, 2018, 6:04 PM

    I won’t even apologize for saying, “Bite me.”

  • CC November 6, 2018, 9:11 AM

    I’m sorry the left are such bints – that’s about it.