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My Kind of Cult

Where do I join, what do I sign, how much are the dues? I’ll go there. I’ll sign it blind. I’ll pay.

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  • Lance de Boyle March 15, 2021, 1:04 PM

    So, young Bev A. believes that right-thinking Floridians are in a cult, but does not see that she and her ilk (and by ilk I of course mean assembled dickheads) are certainly in a cult.

    The Cult of the Smug Beta Dickheads

    Whatever the media say is true. [Or says. Must check with Vanderleun.]

    Whatever Democrats say is true, you lying conservative shit balls.

    Democrats have only the nation’s well-being as their primary concern.

    Hillary Clinton is one of the most attractive, honest, caring, hideously-pants-suited polly titions.

    Barack Obama is a god.

    It is not true that Barack Obama lost money when, as kid in Kenya, he had a refreshment stand in which he sold cow flop to assorted passersby.

    Tell Kennedy was an elegant speaker, and it is not true that everything he said could be summarized as Byahh Byahhh Budabumbumbyehhh. with a Boston accent.

    Ted Kennedy never killed anyone. He never even drove a car. He was in bed at the time with his pet sheep.

    Covid will kill your ass in a minute.

    Fauci is a god. It is not true that his hairpiece is made of dust bunnies and cat hair.

    It is not true that Fauci went to bathhouses to participate in gay festivities. He was merely adding to his collection of jockstraps.

    John Kerry did not give himself a nasty paper cut in Vietnam so that he would get a Purple Heart. It is not true that his lower jaw is assembled from a lantern.

    Joe Biden is NOT demented. YOU’RE demented, you right-wing bastards. President Biden was elected fair and square, you nazi sumbitches..

    Give communism a chance. No one was murdered by Stalin or Mao. They fell down the stairs.

    Bill Ayers is not behind the whole thing, as suggested by his book Prairie Fire.

    Kamala Harris is not a bum fuck. Just because she lays there cackling. You’re just envious that she doesn’t cackle for you.

    “Cackle Kammi.”
    quacka quacka.
    “Good girrrrrl. Here’s a bit of sardine, so that your mouth smells about the same as your coootch.”

    The FBI is your friend. So what if they burst into your home at 4:00 AM and shoot your kid? You miserable militia scum.

    Guns are bayud. So don’t have guns. Because guns are bayud. Moreover, we’re gonna shoot you.

  • Stargazer March 15, 2021, 1:04 PM

    Move to Florida like I did 20 years ago.
    Happy Cracker.

  • BillH March 15, 2021, 1:16 PM

    About the same in south AL. Our poor old gov. (77 years young) keeps thumping the crisis tub, and the media dutifully amplifies it, but that’s about all. When the vaccine came along, people (including me) began ambling on down to where you get the jab. Little drama, or waiting lines.

  • ghostsniper March 15, 2021, 2:02 PM

    Move OUT of Florida like I did 15 years ago.
    Move TO FL is like people. Lot’s and lots of people.
    How many people?
    In our next to last house in FL I would open the window in the bathroom when I got out of the shower and just 15 feet away was the neighbor dood looking out his exact same window at me. His house and our house looked identical, except one was “reversed” from the other. The floor plans were the same but backwards, so his window lined up with ours.

    Now, our closest neighbor is about 600 feet away and I have no idea where their bathroom window is. Florida is wall to wall subdivisions with bazillions of people getting on each others nerves. Traffic is murderous and doubly so in the winter months. In the summer the heat and humidity is gawd awful and the bugs are relentless and miserable. And everything is fake and expensive. Yes, I wrote the book.

    Nowhere is perfect, perfect doesn’t exist, so you have to add up the pluses and negatives. Each person is diff and what makes me miserable may be your cuppa.

  • EX-Californian Pete March 15, 2021, 2:11 PM

    I had a great day Sunday.

    Four of my riding buddies and myself took advantage of the warmer weather and took our bikes out for a long ride on the scenic, well-wooded back roads in my area. After our first stop at my pal Ken’s place, I got a call from a close friend nearby who I’ve done a lot of gunsmithing for, and has a house on 12+ acres he recently put on the market.

    Seems that a prospective buyer showed up, loved the place, and wanted to haggle over the price. Not abnormal, and not anything to be concerned about, right?

    Wrong. The “person” was some weird-ass screwball from New Jersey- a mega-Libtard retired “College professor type” with an obese, multiracial girlfriend (at least we THINK it was female) and her 2 illegitimate, worthless-looking teenage kids.

    So, my friends and I stopped by to say “hi,” (we said we do that every Sunday) and tell the prospective buyers that we would LOVE to have a little more “diversity” in the area, as it’s currently 99% “redneck, Liberal-hating, Trump-voting, Harley-riding, gun-toting, God-fearing folks.”

    Then I let them know that a bunch of us always do a lot of camping, hunting, target shooting, beer-guzzling, and driving 4×4’s on the NW part of the property, its kind of a tradition, and will continue, no matter who buys the property.

    We hung out for a while and acted real friendly to the Jerseyites, but they seemed to lose interest in the property for some reason and left. Go figger.

    Galldarn it- I guess they just weren’t the “tolerant” type or figured they couldn’t “coexist” with us backwoods folk?
    Well, we didn’t get near as much riding time in as we planned, but we sure got some great entertainment in exchange.

  • OneGuy March 15, 2021, 2:51 PM

    The worst part of this is that the government has convinced many that masks will protect them and that 6′ of distance will protect them. Most people who get the kung flu wore masks and abided by all of the protocols.

  • julie March 15, 2021, 3:08 PM

    Ghost sez “Florida is wall to wall subdivisions with bazillions of people getting on each others nerves.”

    Can confirm. Worst traffic I’ve ever had the displeasure to drive in on a daily basis was Florida, because 90% of the population is squeezed along the coasts, and at least half of ’em drive like they’re still in whatever island or South American country they came from. Every county south of Broward feels like a foreign country. Traffic lights are timed weird, too. Extra long, so the people selling things and panhandling at the intersections have plenty of time to go up and down the lanes of stopped cars.

    There is a lot of beauty there, and lots of great people; many things that I miss tremendously. But also just lots of people, period, and it can get exhausting. Inland SoCal, by comparison, is quite sedate as long as you stay off the freeways.

  • Tennessee Budd March 15, 2021, 4:57 PM

    Sounds like ghostsniper & julie were in the wrong part of Florida. Don’t go south of Alligator Alley, & stay away from cities. The rest of Florida is great. I’d move there, but I’m a hillbilly–3 or 4 days without hills & I get itchy. I do go to FL every year, often multiple times, & I was stationed there in 1990-92 (USN).

  • ghostsniper March 15, 2021, 6:55 PM

    @Tennessee, it changes when you live there full time. Lived in Fort Myers for 20 years then in Cape Coral for 20 more. Knew both when they were still small and liveable. Not so any more.

    At first, back in 2005, we tried to buy property inland but the costs were impossible. The land prices were high and then the added costs of improving them to where they were buildable. Then we started increasing the radius of possibilities and quickly we crossed the state line, and eventually we ended where we are.

    Now, this place is becoming something it was not. For us, it is not as liveable now as it was just 15 years ago. It’s still better here than FL, but getting worse all the time. Seems the communist creep is everywhere now, and escalating. And land prices are going through the moon. We’re most likely stuck where we are for the duration.

  • Sam L. March 16, 2021, 8:18 AM


  • Snakepit Kansas March 17, 2021, 5:49 AM

    Lance for the win. Had to read it twice!

  • Boat Guy March 17, 2021, 7:20 AM

    FEW places are “as liveable” as they were 15 (or however many) years ago. The trick is, to keep your place as “liveable” as you can by finding like-minded folks and building (or integrating into) communities.
    Out west many of the truly liveable places left were settled by Mormons, as a Gentile I can get along with them pretty well because we share many values; work, family, the Republic. Our refuge is seeing a huge influx of people fleeing California. I asked our builder to remind them they are refugees, NOT missionaries. He laughed and said all but one of his potential clients were Americans; the exception was told he wouldn’t be able to build until at least next year. Dude’s got 12 months to get his mind right or find someplace else.

  • twolaneflash March 17, 2021, 8:31 AM

    DUES? We don’t pay no stinkin’ dues. This is FLORIDA!

  • Casey Klahn March 17, 2021, 11:10 PM

    I was thinking today about how I am not a Washingtonian. I am The Washingtonian. But to the Fux in Olympia I am a cultish, skinhead, WS. Thats; ok by me because I don’t give the least amount of shit for those FuttBuckers.

    Now, what’s the next move?

    Lance sends the comments. Loved that one, dude.

  • Amy March 18, 2021, 1:25 PM

    We live in a dogs-on-the-beach county (Martin) but if you want even more open space then try a dogs-and-trucks-on-the-beach county like Gulf County on the Panhandle. Florida is a big state.