Thinkiing about it, a three-way with Arianna Huffington and Ann Coulter would most likely have a certain spirited, wounding quality about it.

Posted by Mike James at April 23, 2012 7:50 PM

There's no affirmation in that list for bloggers like me who bore themselves with their boring writing about their food. I struggle to make it pornographic, but there's only so much I can do with Miracle Whip and Lebanon sweet baloney.

Posted by Jewel at April 23, 2012 8:57 PM

Aha, the truth about bloggers. And hilarious it is, too.

Posted by Jimmy J. at April 23, 2012 9:22 PM


Pornographic... Miracle Whip... Lebanon sweet baloney! My imagination is running wild.

Posted by Marcus Leviticus at April 23, 2012 9:47 PM

Detailed explanation in Test Cases is helpful especially when the persons writing the test case are other than the persons going to execute them.

Posted by STC Technologies at April 23, 2012 10:34 PM

Two slices of black bread, dense and heavy spread apart and fell to the plate vibrating slightly. She delved deeply into the jar, almost spent of its miraculous white whip, tangy and yet - so sweet, furiously gleaning the remnants with a slender, soft rubber spatula, hoping there was enough lubrication to press the dark, wine-colored, sweet, smoked meat from Lebanon with both sides of the bread.

She argued within herself whether or not to dress the sandwich with cold, crisp lettuce and a ripened, viscous tomato, laden and gleaming with seeds, but finally, she decided to do her sandwich with pungent, musky, smoked Dutch Gouda. She pressed both pieces of bread to the baloney, and they held fast, as she raised the sandwich to her lips and playfully bit off just a bit more than she could chew. Most delicious, she thought, licking the tang from her upper lip, hoping her husband wouldn't awake to find her in thrall of another late night sandwich.

Posted by Jewel at April 23, 2012 11:36 PM

What Jewel! No piccalilli giving that off color allure?

Posted by Peccable at April 24, 2012 1:12 AM

Having an alias makes it only slightly easier to soothe that certain paranoia that sets in when you see Dept of Homeland Security in your StatCounter links.

I can see this thread will devolve into sex and food and food-as-sex and really, isn't that what the Internet was created for?

And cats.

Posted by Joan of Argghh at April 24, 2012 4:58 AM

I used to have a nickname, but that was boringer.

Posted by Jewel at April 24, 2012 6:39 AM

Jewel, I never had you pictured as a disgusting pervert. Miracle Whip is perfectly matched with original Lepnen, but it's an unnecessary distraction on the sweet Lebanon bologna. Ugh, how shameful. No whoopie pies for you!

Posted by Dan D at April 24, 2012 6:39 AM

Assume the position and prepare for correction!

Posted by vanderleun at April 24, 2012 7:31 AM

In my house whoopie pies are what we used to call sex in front of the people we created as a result of indulging in too much whoopie pie. I guess on this thread we might be talkin' some whoop ass pie.
Canned or fresh?

Posted by Jewel at April 24, 2012 10:18 AM

And by the way, Dan, you cannot write nearly as perverse with pineapple cream cheese and Lebanon Balogna, try as you might.

Posted by Jewel at April 24, 2012 10:19 AM

"I accept that I will never outgrow my compulsion to fisk Paul Krugman with a chain saw until every part of him is reduced to steaming gobbets of bloody flesh." Sorry, it's like homosexuality, it's genetic.

Posted by Moneyrunner at April 24, 2012 6:33 PM

28. Getting a gem from Vanderleun, linking it with a snarky comment, and then posting it with a link to Insty to get the hits. Oh Yeah! Hey, is that you Gerard ... no ... put the gun down ... no, please, I won't do it again .... no! Not the dog!

Posted by Moneyrunner at April 24, 2012 6:41 PM

29. Getting sidelined by Gerard is the bees knees.

Posted by Jewel at April 24, 2012 7:18 PM

>>lusted after a three-way with Arianna Huffington and Anne Coulter

I prefer the bustier types myself.

Posted by sTevo at April 25, 2012 9:43 AM

Anyone who honors Affirmation 23 simply has no idea of the earning potential of a good porn paysite.

Uh, somebody told me that.

Posted by richard mcenroe at April 25, 2012 11:58 PM