How to Talk to Your Pansy Ass Marxist Nephew at Thanksgiving by Uncle Strickland

Self Flagellation.

Doesn't everyone already knew there is no sense in speaking logic to a person that is genetically flawed as his nephew seems to be?

The best you can do is stay back out of the way and let the future give him what he yearns for.

Posted by ghostsniper at November 25, 2015 1:32 PM

He pulls out a talking point, you pull a sneer. He waves printouts, you twirl a bar of soap in a sock. Because the first rule of Thanksgiving is "Not at the table".

Posted by SteveS at November 25, 2015 2:34 PM

A winning tactic for us female rednecks is to agree and sympathize and lead them further down the rabbit hole until their eyes glaze over. Make it offensively clear that they are being "matronized." Because I agree, logic is wasted on the safe space crowd. And if you lack muscle mass, testosterone levels, or military experience, treacly concern is a good substitute. If you have the $ to waste, bring along cheesy-looking "vegan" frozen entrees as bait. For male enlightened ones, a fuzzy onesie in a girlie color is an appropriate gift. I did this last year to a "gender-questing" date someone brought. They left early and there was more rum pecan pie for the rest of us.

Posted by raincityjazz at November 25, 2015 2:44 PM

"I was flying Ranger battalions into Grenada in ’83. I spent Thanksgiving there, and believe me, we didn’t have any damn printouts. We had a war, son:

What sort of pansy thinks that Reagan's Grenada diversion- A Marx Brothers farce at best, was a war?

It was a diversion from the Iran-Contra crimes.

Posted by Bill Jones at November 25, 2015 2:55 PM

Thanks for keeping us on track even in the humor items.

Posted by Van der Leun at November 25, 2015 3:25 PM

The turkey on the table acts best. It had no choice.
The turkeys round the table act worst. They had choices and chose the sad and bad.
The lesson offered: get fed-up with yourself. Thanksgiving is beyond your ken.

Posted by Howard Nelson at November 25, 2015 3:53 PM

Hey Bill: I hit Grenada a glancing blow on the way to Beirut, and later ended up in Kuwait City. In each case, the little inside joke was "Well, it's not much of a war, but it's the only war we've got."

I also dabbled in Nicaragua. Anything we did to hobble the Sandanistas is good in my book. Those talking-point print-outs are made from the pulp of beams found in eyes.

Posted by Darkwater at November 26, 2015 2:20 AM

...did I carpet bomb your safe space? Mercy. Good stuff.

Posted by Snakepit Kansas at November 26, 2015 4:52 AM

Bill Jones - I was already retired when Grenada came along. But, I took 130s into and out of quite a few no-name hot spots in the '50s-'60s rescuing American civilians, and it was no cakewalk. They were places that didn't even make the papers or evening news, but when you're getting shot at on approach and takeoff, it's a war as far as you're concerned.

Posted by BillH at November 26, 2015 6:58 AM

The father showed an incredible level of self-restraint. The 'kid' is a mental case. A selfishness that is too 'normal' in our society today.

Posted by AbigailAdams at November 23, 2016 12:33 PM

A very good re-read Gerard, kind of like Fields of Fire by James Webb. I have to pick that up again every couple years....

Posted by Snakepit Kansas at November 23, 2016 4:38 PM


Otherwise, the father would have punched the kid in the face and thrown him upstairs.

Posted by Lance de Boyle at November 23, 2016 9:54 PM

The long and slow corruption of our spirits by the truth-less public education of our children and the absence of spiritual values.

This is exactly what has gone wrong with what used to be a Christian America. Unfortunately, we must look forward to much more of the same in our futures, - only worse.

Darwin be praised.

Posted by Denny at November 24, 2016 6:32 AM

Darwin will make mincemeat out of turdbots like these.

Posted by Jared A Ford at November 24, 2016 9:01 AM

The video is acted. But a great job on the scene.

Posted by Nobody Atall at November 24, 2016 11:11 AM

The video is acted. No one I know gives the thanks after the plates are filled. However this same scenario is acted out, including real violence, in thousands of homes all over our country, every single day.

Posted by Denny at November 24, 2016 2:30 PM

Talking about Pansy-asses
"When I was his age, I was flying Ranger battalions into Grenada in ’83."

Ah yes, against the formidable Granadan army, both of them.

What a wuss.

Posted by Bill Jones at November 24, 2016 4:16 PM

They were plenty formidable when they start throwing granades.

Posted by Col. B. Bunny at November 26, 2016 8:15 PM