Good Morning: The Coffee Tutorial Because You've Been Doing It Wrong

Goat milk?

Posted by Snakepit Kansas at October 28, 2015 4:53 AM

Only 8 steps?

Posted by cond0011 at October 28, 2015 4:58 AM

1. Heaping tsp. Folger's Instant in 8 oz. cup cold tap water.

2. Nuke for 2' summer, 2' 20" winter (adjust a little for temp variation in your tap water, if any ((temp variation that is, not tap water))).

3. Stir and enjoy while the morons are still going through their alchemy routines.

Posted by BillH at October 28, 2015 7:12 AM

Utter silliness.
You're almost there BillH.
My style:

1. Nuke 40 degree water year round for 222 (keep it simple) in designated pyrex measuring cup.

2. Install 1 heaping tablespoon (ht) of Great Value (gv) instant in Tervis tumbler mug, 1 ht gv dry creamer, 1 ht sugar.

3. Dump Pyrex into Tervis, stir, pour in about 1tbs of 2% milk, stir again.

Mmmmmmm....I do this 4 times on a normal day.

Posted by ghostsniper at October 28, 2015 9:35 AM

ghost - I drank it like that up to 55 years ago, when the flight surgeon threatened to ground me for being overweight, which I was. For the first of many weight losses in life, I cut back on a lot of things, and started drinking my coffee black. When my weight dropped enough to suit the flight surgeon, I treated myself to a cup of well creamed and sugared coffee, but couldn't stomach the stuff. Been drinking it black ever since.

Posted by BillH at October 28, 2015 2:05 PM

Bill - I understand.
I'd like to eventually get to pure black for simplicity sake. If I did that though I'd probably have to go back to perked cause black instant is just too harsh for my taste buds.

Posted by ghostsniper at October 28, 2015 6:35 PM

Dudes. I mean that with sympathy and charity: dudes. Coffee is sacred stuff. Even cowboys did it better than the recipes I'm reading here.

At least this guy had the whisky shots part right.

Posted by Casey Klahn at October 28, 2015 8:22 PM

I personally think that the people who drink coffee with all the additives drink it for the additives, not the coffee. Starbucks could probably fill a cup half full of used motor oil and the customers would still drink it, if it had enough other junk in it.

Posted by drdave at October 29, 2015 8:49 AM

I admit it, I consume it for the jolt.
But then, I've never paid more than $1.50 for a cup any where ever.

Take that back after thinking about it.
My sister bought me a latte one time.
Tasted like a warm milkshake with no resemblance to coffee.

Posted by ghostsniper at October 29, 2015 1:20 PM

I made it to 1:35 before angrily slamming the pause button. Dirty trick. I love coffee and take it seriously. Here I was thinking I might learn a new trick or something. No, yet another fucking nancy-boy in a kimono...okay, okay, I overreacted. I know they'll be another Sophia Loren piece to nullify the after effects

Posted by Will at October 29, 2015 2:40 PM