Well, color me Neanderthal, I guess.
Tonstant Weader fwowed up.
The NYT's "Modern Man" is apparently a lesbian with a strap on.
The"modern man" lives at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave...and his "modern man" boyfriend is named Shep Smith.
Don't they mean 'Post-Modern' Man?
The modern man is a pusillanimous weenie.
All of it, compiled by people with not enough to do.
Which side of the bed you lie on depends on if you are right or left handed. Righties lie on the left so that when they face the wife the dominant hand is the free one.
(1) B*tch ain't got shoes and the kids don't eat until the scoot is runnin'
(2) Wanna talk about feelings? join the Campfire Girls.
(3) Movies in a theater? Rly?
(4) Pig roast & Jack Daniels. Beer for the babies.
(5) Parks scoot on sidewalk.
(6) Makes sure kids are asleep, wife is serviced.
(7) JD, MF. Draft if you're dehydrated. Only use for cola is as aluminum brightener
(8) Helo. You got no GOFO.
(9) Touch her and you're long pig. See #8
(10) Only I wash my KaBar. The rest you eat outta the bag or off the fire.
(11) I've pinned your ol' lady
(12) Irish Spring out, Hoppe's No. 9 in
(13) Wu-Tang out, Roosh V in
(14) Use your brains, brains.
(15) Engineer boots. Floor is made of whatever its made of. Linoleum if you're lucky.
(16) Intruders shot. Survivors shot again.
(17) That some kind of sex toy?
(18) See #17
(19) See #2
(20) See #7
(21) A good swat is more effective
(23) Michael Mann? The hockey stick lyin' bastard? Who knew he made movies?
(24) Tires run flat, as$$wipe. When I want a phone, I'll use yours.
(25) See #16. Always carry, even in bed.
(26) Only when he's alone, 'cause he knows his ol' lady loves him., an' he don't deserve it.
(27) DJ always plays my jam, or I mess him up. Dancin' is that move where your elbow bends enough to move the PBR from the table to your lips. I'm dancin' up a fekkin' storm.
First, I laughed, then I laughed, until I was laughing, and even now, and I'm typing real slow, but I am still laughing. Thanks.
I only wash my KaBar! HAHAHA!!!
(28) Ostentatiously reads NYT in public to make himself look well-informed to other Modern Myn and Womyn. Indicates "microscrotumed drone" to everyone else.
When will the NYT start publishing in tabloid format?
"27. People aren't sure if the Modern Man is a really good dancer or not. That is, until the D.J. plays his jam and he puts on a clinic."
In which case, the "Real Man of Genius" will remove all doubt.
www . youtube . com/watch?v=Exv4KK_mI60