"The Modern Man" Fisked.... By Hand

Well, color me Neanderthal, I guess.

Posted by jmark at October 1, 2015 2:07 PM

Tonstant Weader fwowed up.

Posted by Rob De Witt at October 1, 2015 3:54 PM

The NYT's "Modern Man" is apparently a lesbian with a strap on.

Posted by Nahanni at October 1, 2015 3:55 PM

The"modern man" lives at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave...and his "modern man" boyfriend is named Shep Smith.

Posted by Uncle Jefe at October 1, 2015 4:35 PM

Don't they mean 'Post-Modern' Man?

Posted by cond0011 at October 1, 2015 4:46 PM

The modern man is a pusillanimous weenie.

Posted by SteveP at October 1, 2015 6:59 PM

All of it, compiled by people with not enough to do.

Posted by ghostsniper at October 1, 2015 8:01 PM

Which side of the bed you lie on depends on if you are right or left handed. Righties lie on the left so that when they face the wife the dominant hand is the free one.

Posted by Bill Jones at October 1, 2015 8:32 PM

Metrosexual as well.

Posted by chasmatic at October 1, 2015 9:53 PM

(1) B*tch ain't got shoes and the kids don't eat until the scoot is runnin'
(2) Wanna talk about feelings? join the Campfire Girls.
(3) Movies in a theater? Rly?
(4) Pig roast & Jack Daniels. Beer for the babies.
(5) Parks scoot on sidewalk.
(6) Makes sure kids are asleep, wife is serviced.
(7) JD, MF. Draft if you're dehydrated. Only use for cola is as aluminum brightener
(8) Helo. You got no GOFO.
(9) Touch her and you're long pig. See #8
(10) Only I wash my KaBar. The rest you eat outta the bag or off the fire.
(11) I've pinned your ol' lady
(12) Irish Spring out, Hoppe's No. 9 in
(13) Wu-Tang out, Roosh V in
(14) Use your brains, brains.
(15) Engineer boots. Floor is made of whatever its made of. Linoleum if you're lucky.
(16) Intruders shot. Survivors shot again.
(17) That some kind of sex toy?
(18) See #17
(19) See #2
(20) See #7
(21) A good swat is more effective
(22) Fuuuuu?
(23) Michael Mann? The hockey stick lyin' bastard? Who knew he made movies?
(24) Tires run flat, as$$wipe. When I want a phone, I'll use yours.
(25) See #16. Always carry, even in bed.
(26) Only when he's alone, 'cause he knows his ol' lady loves him., an' he don't deserve it.
(27) DJ always plays my jam, or I mess him up. Dancin' is that move where your elbow bends enough to move the PBR from the table to your lips. I'm dancin' up a fekkin' storm.

Posted by Jimmy don\'t play that at October 1, 2015 10:44 PM

First, I laughed, then I laughed, until I was laughing, and even now, and I'm typing real slow, but I am still laughing. Thanks.

Posted by Mars Sullivan at October 2, 2015 2:25 AM

I only wash my KaBar! HAHAHA!!!

Posted by Snakepit Kansas at October 2, 2015 5:10 AM

(28) Ostentatiously reads NYT in public to make himself look well-informed to other Modern Myn and Womyn. Indicates "microscrotumed drone" to everyone else.

Posted by Ray Van Dune at October 2, 2015 8:49 AM

When will the NYT start publishing in tabloid format?

Posted by Hammond Aikes at October 2, 2015 1:35 PM

"27. People aren't sure if the Modern Man is a really good dancer or not. That is, until the D.J. plays his jam and he puts on a clinic."

In which case, the "Real Man of Genius" will remove all doubt.
www . youtube . com/watch?v=Exv4KK_mI60

Posted by cond0011 at October 3, 2015 4:11 AM